People-Pleasers, This Is for You: The Psychology of the Fawn Response

“Is the fawn response even a real thing?”
That’s what my friend texted me back in 2020. At the time, TikTok had began circulating with videos explaining something called fight, flight, freeze  and fawn.

I hadn’t learned about the fawn response in any textbook. It hadn’t come up in lectures or training. Not once had I heard it mentioned in my clinical work. But there it was, all over social media. It wasn’t a concept I had been taught, so initially I was skeptical that it was another pop psychology concept without merit. However, something about it stuck with me, and I tossed it back and forth in my mind. The more I sat with it, the more it clicked. Was this a missing piece that explained why so many of the women I work with struggle so deeply with people-pleasing?

In my work as a therapist providing trauma therapy,  I started seeing how often these patterns show up—and how deeply rooted they are. To understand the fawn response, we need to rewind and understand how our bodies respond to stress, threats, and trauma. 

What is the fawn response? 

“The Fawn Response” was coined by therapist  Pete Walker, and it spread like wildfire in the trauma-informed spaces and social media.. While there isn’t clinical research on the term “fawn” specifically, the behavior of fawning lines up with the concept known as appeasement in trauma research. Whether we call it fawning or appeasing the concepts are the same. Fight, flight or fawn is catchy that’s the term we will use here. 

The word “fawn” implies being eager to please, behaving in an overly kind way, following rules, being compliant and obedient, especially to someone who has power over you. To be honest, for longer than I care to admit, I was picturing a fawn as a baby Bambi because who doesn’t swoon over a baby deer? But in this context, it’s less about being cute and precious and more about how we shrink ourselves to stay safe.

In the world of trauma, the fawn response is when a person tries to feel safe by people pleasing, avoiding conflict, being overly helpful, being kind, and attentive. At first glance, these might seem like positive attributes  the motive comes from a place of fear. 

How People-Pleasing Develops as a Survival Strategy

People-pleasing isn’t born out of nowhere. It starts for a reason, and its roots often go back to childhood. Sorry to be that therapist, but our early experiences really can help us understand more about why we show up the way we do now.

Maybe you had a parent whose moods you learned to tiptoe around. Maybe you figured out that keeping your room spotless or getting straight A’s helped you avoid being yelled at or punished. Over time, being helpful, quiet, and “good” became a way to feel safe. You became an expert on how to keep the peace. 

Your free workbook is waiting

If you’ve ever felt guilty for saying no, or drained from always saying yes, this guide is for you. Inside, you’ll find scripts, prompts, and tools to help you protect your time and energy without losing your kindness or compassion.

Fast forward to adulthood, and that same people-pleasing survival strategy might still be running the show. Now it looks like saying yes when you want to say no, apologizing for things that aren’t your fault, or feeling anxious anytime someone is upset with you. You might find yourself over-explaining, avoiding conflict at all costs, or constantly checking in to make sure everyone’s okay (even when you’re not). It can feel like your worth depends on how needed, helpful, or agreeable you are. The tricky part is you might not even realize you're doing it, because it's been natural, the norm, for so long. 

Signs You May Be Stuck in the Fawn Response

If your next question is, “Well, how do I even know if I’m fawning?’ Let me first validate that sometimes it's tricky to see even when it’s staring you right in the face. What makes it even more sneaky is that sometimes it mimics the values you already hold close: compassion, kindness, helpfulness, but the biggest difference is that fawning comes from fear. It’s not about kindness and compassion. It’s about keeping yourself safe. Here are some common signs to pay attention to: 

• You say yes to things you don’t want to, but then feel resentful later

• You apologize constantly, even for things you didn’t do

• You avoid conflict like the plague 

• You feel responsible for other people’s feelings 

• You focus more on others’ needs more than your own 

• You feel anxious or worried when someone is mad or upset,t even when it has nothing to do with you 

The Hidden Costs of People-Pleasing

People-pleasing might feel like winning some gold stars: being liked, being needed, being the “easy one”, the “pleasant one”, but the inner toll adds up fast. You start ignoring your own needs without even realizing it. You say yes when you’re already at capacity. You feel resentful, drained, and overwhelmed. Over time, you might even lose sight of what you want, because you're so used to bending around everyone else and have become an expert in anticipating everyone else's needs. If you and I are being honest with each other, being nice out of fear doesn’t feel good. It’s the worst. 

Moving forward from the fawn response 

Girl, it’s high time to start setting boundaries, and I get it, it doesn’t happen overnight. It also doesn’t come easily. It’s terrifying, sloppy, and can even involve some ugly crying in the shower. It must begin somewhere, and it’s not gonna be as precious or pretty as baby bambi, and that’s ok. This is about you now. It’s about offering yourself compassion so you can actually live your values, not from fear and anxiety, because it’s the truest version of yourself. 

If this feels hard to untangle on your own, that’s because it is. It’s a messy, knotted-up ball of yarn that can feel nearly impossible to undo, and you shouldn’t have to try to figure that out on your own. That’s where therapy can help. As a therapist, never in a million years would I think of judging or shaming you for the ways that you learned to cope, to survive, to feel safe. Fawning is what you have done to protect yourself, and maybe it’s time to do something different. I’m not here to fix you because I truly don’t think you’re anywhere near broken, but I am here to help you think about yourself and become the person who chooses kindness, service,  and compassion when you have the capacity and it’s what you truly want not because you’re scared of the consequences. 

If this post resonated with you, you may also love my free workbook, What to Say When You Don’t Want to Say Yes. Inside, you’ll find simple scripts and gentle prompts to help you start setting boundaries without guilt.

Let go of people pleasing and begin trauma therapy in Utah 

If you’re starting to see yourself in these words, I want you to know this: you don’t have to keep doing this. Trauma therapy can help you untangle the patterns that are costing you too much. This Utah Counseling Center has a trauma therapist who can help you work through your fawn response. To begin therapy, follow these steps: 

1. Schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation 

2. Meet with a caring therapist

3. Begin healing

Online Therapy in Utah 

The best part of therapy is that you don’t have to leave your home to get support. I offer online therapy in Utah, so whether you're in Salt Lake City, Logan, Heber City, Provo, Cedar City, St. George, or a small town in between, healing is just a click away. All you need is a quiet space and a good internet connection, and we’ll take care of the rest, together.

Frequently Asked Questions about The Fawn Response and People-Pleasing 

• Is the fawn response a real trauma response?

  Yep, it really is. Even though the term fawn response isn’t something you’ll always find in a psychology textbook, the behavior behind it is backed by trauma research. It lines up with what’s known as appeasement, a way the nervous system responds to a threat by trying to keep the peace.

• What causes the fawn response?

  The fawn response usually starts early in childhood, when your nervous system was still wiring itself and learning how to stay safe in the world. Maybe you grew up around unpredictability, yelling, emotional distance, and walking on eggshells. Maybe being quiet, helpful, or "good" kept the peace. Over time, your brain picked up on the message that pleasing other people helped you stay safe and survive. 

• How can therapy help with the fawn response? 

  Description text goes hereTherapy helps you make sense of where your people-pleasing patterns came from because I promise, they didn’t just show up out of nowhere. As a therapist, I help you  explore how your nervous system learned that being helpful, agreeable, or invisible was the safest way to move through the world.

  For some people, EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) can be a powerful part of the therapy process. EMDR helps you reprocess the experiences that taught your nervous system to freeze in the first place. 

• What childhood trauma causes the fawn response? 

  The fawn response usually shows up when a child grows up in a space where love, safety, or connection feels unpredictable. Maybe you had a parent whose moods ran the show, or you were expected to be the peacemaker in the family. Maybe being helpful, quiet, or perfect was the only way to avoid punishment or get attention or praise. 

  It doesn’t always look like “big trauma.” Sometimes it’s the subtle, repeated moments where your feelings were dismissed, your boundaries didn’t matter, or you felt like you had to perform to be loved. Over time, your nervous system learned that people-pleasing = safety. That pattern can follow you into adulthood, even when it’s no longer needed.

About the Author 

Ashlee Hunt, LCSW, is a licensed clinical social worker and the owner and founder of Maple Canyon Therapy, an online therapy practice in the state of Utah.  She holds a master’s degree in Social Work from Utah State University and has over a decade of experience helping women navigate trauma, people-pleasing, body image struggles, and the lingering effects of childhood wounds. Ashlee has worked at every level of eating disorder care and specializes in trauma therapy using approaches like EMDR, parts work, and mindfulness-based strategies. Her work focuses on helping clients break free from trauma responses like the fawn response and people pleasing. In addition to her clinical work, Ashlee has served as an adjunct professor in the Department of Social Work at Utah State University, where she has taught beginning practice skills and trauma-informed approaches to future clinicians.

How to Overcome Perfectionism: 6 Practical Steps to Let Go of Perfect

“If it’s not perfect, then it’s not good enough” is a common thought for perfectionists. Perfectionism isn’t just about having high standards. It leads to procrastination, burnout, anxiety, or feeling stuck when things don’t go exactly as planned. Let’s dive into what perfectionism is and why it can hold a tight grasp on those who struggle with it.

What Is Perfectionism & Why Is It So Hard to Overcome?

Many perfectionists are thoughtful, capable, and deeply caring people. Over time, they’ve learned to measure their worth by how well they perform or how flawlessly they show up. But here’s the truth: your value isn’t tied to perfection. With practice, patience, and a good dose of self-compassion, it’s absolutely possible to loosen perfectionism’s grip and to allow yourself to be more flexible and less rigid about being perfect. Overcoming perfectionism involves being able to recognize that your value is not tied to being perfect. 

For many of the women I see in therapy, perfectionism is tangled up with anxiety and constantly worrying about letting others down, getting it wrong, or not being “good enough.” Therapy for anxiety can be a powerful way to understand what’s underneath the pressure to be perfect. It creates a safe space to slow down, be kinder to yourself, and start shifting the beliefs that make you feel like a failure if you’re not perfect. 

How to Overcome Perfectionism by Understanding Its Root Causes

Before you can change perfectionistic patterns, it helps to understand where or how they began. Perfectionism doesn’t start from nowhere and can have deep roots. For many women, perfectionism started in childhood. Maybe love or praise was tied to achievement, or being “the responsible one” felt like the only option. It could be that you realized that being perfect helped you avoid negative attention from parents. For others, it became a way to feel safe and in control, especially in situations where criticism or unpredictability were present.

Perfectionism can be a coping skill that may help you feel protected from feelings of failure, shame, or judgment. Through therapy, you can begin to see where it comes from, you can start using more self-compassion instead of pressure to achieve. The goal of therapy is not to place blame on anyone, but to understand how this pattern and drive to be perfect began. 

Step 1 – Identify Your Perfectionism Triggers

The first step in loosening perfectionism’s grip is just noticing where it tends to show up in your life. Start paying attention to the moments when you feel that urge or pressure to get everything just right or to avoid making a mistake at all costs.

Does it show up at work when you're afraid of falling short or letting someone down? In parenting, when do you feel like you have to be endlessly patient, organized, and on top of everything? Maybe it sneaks in when you look in the mirror or compare yourself to others, or in your relationships when you’re trying to avoid conflict or be the “easy one.”

Try  asking yourself: “What would it say about me as a person if I didn’t do this perfectly?”

This exercise isn’t about judging yourself, but it’s about being curious.  The response might uncover deeper fears, like the fear of being seen as lazy, unlovable, or not enough. It’s ok to feel those things. These fears make sense when you consider your experiences.  They likely protected you at some point, even if they’re not helping you now. 

Naming your triggers with honesty and compassion is powerful. It helps you recognize that perfectionism isn’t who you but is a response to something deeper. When you see it clearly, you can start making choices that are rooted in kindness and align your actions more with your values. 

Step 2 – Reframe Mistakes to Start Overcoming Perfectionism

Perfectionism tells you that mistakes are the worst thing you can make. That they mean you’ve failed, fallen short, or disappointed someone. What if that isn’t true? What if mistakes are actually part of being human and a part of learning and growing as a person?

Reframing how you see mistakes is a powerful part of challenging perfectionism. Instead of seeing them as proof that you’re not good enough, you can begin to see them as information. A sign you tried something. Mistakes aren’t a reflection of who you are as a person or you’re worth.

Overcoming perfectionism and challenging these beliefs takes practice. When the voice of self-criticism starts chattering in your head, that “ I messed this up,” “Why can’t I get this right?”, try responding with self-compassion instead.  Telling yourself, “I’m still learning, and that’s ok.” 

These small moments of kindness toward yourself can slowly begin to untangle the fear and shame that perfectionism often brings. You don’t have to get it right all the time to be worthy or to be loved.  You’re allowed to be imperfect. 

Step 3 – Practice “Good Enough” Thinking Every Day

One of the best ways to quiet perfectionism is by choosing to accept when things are good enough. This is not about lowering your standards, but it’s about letting go of the idea that everything has to be flawless to be valuable. Sometimes, good enough means sending the email without reading it seven times. Sometimes, it looks like letting the clean laundry stay in the basket for a couple of days or finishing a project without endlessly tweaking every detail.

Perfectionism often shows up when we're trying to feel in control or avoid criticism. The truth is, most of the time, no one else is holding us to the impossible standards we set for ourselves. If they are, that’s another story about setting boundaries. Done is better than perfect, not because you’re lazy or unmotivated, but because your time, energy, and mental health matter more than constant self-correction.

The next time that inner critic shows up, try asking: What would good enough look like right now? Give yourself permission to stop there. 

Step 4 – Set Flexible Goals (Not Unrealistic Ones)

Perfectionism often thrives in all-or-nothing thinking. It can trick you into believing that if you don’t do something perfectly, it’s not worth doing at all. One way to push back against this thinking is to set flexible, realistic goals that allow you to be human.

Flexible goals allow you to be consistent without expecting yourself to be at 100% every single day. They help you make progress without burning out.

Here are a few ways to practice this:

• Build in buffer time. Instead of cramming your day full, leave extra time between tasks. That way, when things take longer than expected (because life happens), you’re not spiraling.

• Set realistic “minimums.” Instead of aiming to clean for an hour, tell yourself 15 minutes counts. Or instead of planning a full meal from scratch, remind yourself that something simple and nourishing is more than enough.

• Give yourself permission to pivot. Plans can change, and that doesn’t mean you failed. It means you're paying attention to what you need and honoring it. Breaks aren’t a sign of laziness but are an important investment in your well-being and ability to do what you enjoy doing longer.

Step 5 – Challenge All-or-Nothing Thinking Patterns

All-or-nothing thinking is one of perfectionism’s favorite tools. It might say, “If I can’t do it perfectly, why bother at all?” or “I’ve already messed up, so I may as well give up.” This kind of thinking can feel familiar, but it’s not helpful, and it definitely isn’t kind.

The truth is, most of life happens in the gray area between all and nothing. Progress, healing, and change aren’t usually neat or linear. They’re messy, imperfect, and made up of small, steady steps.

When you notice those all-or-nothing thoughts showing up, try gently challenging them with more balanced reminders.

Step 6 – Talk to a Therapist About How to Overcome Perfectionism

You don’t have to figure this out alone. If perfectionism has been your default setting for a long time, it can feel overwhelming to try and untangle it on your own. That’s where therapy can help.

In therapy, we can explore the deeper beliefs that drive your perfectionism, the fear of failure, the need for control, or the belief that your worth is tied to your performance. These patterns often started as ways to protect yourself or earn love, but with the right support, they can be understood and changed.

Together, we’ll work on creating new, more helpful ways of thinking and showing up in your life. You’ll learn how to set boundaries with your inner critic, challenge all-or-nothing thinking, and practice self-compassion in real and practical ways.

Healing from perfectionism isn’t about lowering your standards. It’s about freeing yourself from the pressure to be everything, all the time. You don’t have to do it alone, and counseling can help. 

Maple Canyon Therapy is an online counseling practice in Utah that specializes in helping women overcome perfectionism, anxiety, and shame. Whether you're in Salt Lake City, Provo, St. George, Logan, Cedar City, Heber, or anywhere else in Utah, online therapy services are here for you.

Final Thoughts: Overcoming Perfectionism Is a Practice, Not an Achievement

Healing from perfectionism isn’t about doing it perfectly but about practicing something new, one step at a time. It's about progress, not perfection. This kind of progress takes patience and kindness

The patterns that fuel perfectionism didn’t appear overnight, and they won’t disappear overnight either. Every time you choose kindness over criticism or flexibility over rigidity, you're practicing something different. You're showing yourself that it's safe to be human.

Here’s the truth we come back to again and again: You are already worthy. Not because of what you achieve, how productive you are, or how perfectly you perform. You are worthy simply because you exist.

How to start therapy for perfectionism in Utah

If perfectionism has been running the show for a while, you don’t have to keep carrying it on your own. Therapy for perfectionism can be a supportive space to get curious about the beliefs driving it and begin practicing something new. This Utah Counseling Practice has a therapist specializing in treating women with perfectionism. To begin counseling, follow the steps below: 

1. Schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation 

2. Meet with an anxiety therapist

3. Leave behind perfectionism forever 

About the Author 

Ashlee Hunt, LCSW, is a licensed clinical social worker and the founder of Maple Canyon Therapy, an online counseling practice based in Utah that first originated in Spanish Fork, Utah. She specializes in helping women navigate perfectionism, anxiety, eating disorders, and body image concerns using a compassionate, evidence-based approach. Ashlee holds bachelor’s degrees in psychology and family life and human development, as well as a master’s in social work. Ashlee has also been an adjunct professor at Utah State University, teaching in the social work department. 

Why Do I Binge Eat Sweets? Understanding Cravings & How to Stop

You tell yourself you’ll just have one, but before you know it, the entire bag is gone. Maybe you reach for sweets when you’re stressed, bored, or emotionally drained, only to feel frustrated afterward, wondering, “Why do I binge eat sweets?” If this cycle feels familiar, you’re not alone. Binge eating sweets isn’t about a lack of willpower, and it’s not something to be ashamed of. It’s often a response to a deeper pattern. Whether binging happens from restriction, stress, or your body trying to get what it needs, there’s a reason. The good news is you don’t have to stay stuck in this cycle. By understanding what’s driving this cycle of binging,  you can take steps toward feeling more in control around sweets without trying to restrict them or feeling guilty when you don’t.  Let’s explore what might be happening,  how to break free, and how binge eating disorder treatment can help. 

Why Do I Binge Eat Sweets? Understanding the Triggers

If you find yourself reaching for sweets when you're not hungry or feeling out of control around certain foods, it’s not just you. Many people feel shame or confusion about their relationship with sweets, especially when it feels like willpower just isn’t enough. Binge eating isn’t about weakness or lack of control. It’s often a response to deeper needs or emotions that haven’t been given the space to be seen and understood. As an eating disorder therapist,  I believe all eating behaviors, even the ones that feel chaotic, make sense when we take time to look at the full picture.

Binge eating sweets can be triggered by restriction (both physical and mental), feeling overwhelmed by emotions, or unmet needs for comfort and connection. Sometimes, we’ve told ourselves for years that sugar is “bad,” and that belief alone can create urgency and rebellion in how we eat. Other times, sweets are linked to memories of safety or love, and turning to them becomes a way to cope with pain, grief, or loneliness. It’s not about the food itself, but what the food may be helping you cope with.  When you try to look at these behaviors with curiosity rather than judgment, you are more likely to learn more about yourself and why you do these things. 

Common Triggers for Binge Eating Sweets

• Restrictive dieting and binge eating:

  When you're not eating enough during the day or following rigid food rules, your body may respond with intense cravings, especially for sweet foods. This is your body just doing its job to try to make sure you have the energy you need.

• Emotional eating triggers:

  Stress, anxiety, loneliness, or feeling overwhelmed can lead to binge eating as a way to self-soothe or as an escape from difficult emotions.

• Cravings after not eating enough:

  Skipping meals or going long periods without food can lead to low blood sugar and strong urges to binge on sweets for quick energy. Against his is just your body doing what it’s supposed to.

• Guilt around food choices:

  Labeling sweets as “bad” or feeling shame after eating can increase the likelihood of bingeing later on.  The goal is to see all food as neutral because there are no morals around food.

• Food rules and binge eating:

  Internal rules like “I can’t have dessert unless I work out” often backfire, leading to a restrict-binge cycle. This ends up hurting you more than helping.

• Sugar cravings and emotional eating:

  Many people turn to sugar when they’re feeling emotionally exhausted. It’s not about the sugar itself, but the comfort it represents. You may have a history with sweet foods being there as a way to help you cope with emotions, and there’s nothing wrong with that. It just may not be helpful to you now.

• Body image and binge eating:

  Negative body image can lead to a cycle of restriction and bingeing. You may use food as a way to deal with low self-esteem or shame you have about your body.

• Diet culture and binge eating disorder:

  Harmful messages about “clean eating” or weight loss can disconnect you from your body’s cues, making binge episodes more likely. Diet culture teaches you that you can’t trust your body and that you need rules to obey instead. 

Why Can’t I Stop Eating Sweets? The Psychology Behind Cravings

Sugar cravings often show up when something deeper is going on beneath the surface. Whatever it is for you, it doesn’t usually get resolved with more willpower or stricter rules. In fact, the more you try to avoid or control sweets, the more your mind and body will fixate on them. This isn’t because you’re weak or broken; it’s because restriction (even the mental kind) signals scarcity to your brain, and cravings become a way to protect you from that perceived deprivation.

Cravings can also be your nervous system’s way of seeking comfort, stability, or relief. If you’ve had a stressful day, feel disconnected in your relationships, or are simply exhausted, it makes sense that your brain might reach for something that offers a quick burst of pleasure. For many people, sweets have been linked to care, reward, or even safety. It’s no surprise that they become a coping tool when things feel overwhelming or out of balance. You deserve compassion and understanding for this, not to berate yourself for not having any control.. 

Instead of viewing your cravings as a problem to solve, try seeing them as information. A desire to binge sweets can be a way of asking you to pay attention to your needs, your emotions, and the ways you’ve learned to care for yourself. When you slow down and respond with curiosity and kindness, those moments can become less about control and more about understanding your body, your emotions, and your needs better. 

Overeating Sweets: How to Break the Cycle

When you find yourself stuck in a pattern of overeating sweets, it can feel frustrating and defeating to keep repeating it. You might feel even more frustrated with yourself if you’ve told yourself, “this won’t happen again.”  You need to know that this cycle isn’t about personal failure. The binge cycle is a sign that your relationship with food has been shaped by years of restriction, shame, or unmet emotional needs. The more you try to“be good” or cut out sugar completely, the more intense the cravings tend to become. 

Breaking the cycle starts with letting go of the all-or-nothing mindset. Giving yourself full permission to eat sweets might feel scary at first, but it’s often the first step toward improving your relationship with them. When sweets are no longer off-limits or loaded with guilt, they start to lose their power. Over time, your body learns to trust that it doesn’t have to binge to get its needs met.

It’s also important to look at what sweets are doing for you emotionally. Are they offering comfort at the end of a hard day? A sense of reward when you feel unseen or depleted? When you allow yourself to be curious instead of judgmental, you are better able to meet your needs outside of using food. 

There’s nothing wrong with enjoying sweets. The goal isn’t to cut them out, but to create a relationship with food that brings you more peace. 

How Therapy Can Help With Binge Eating Sweets

The binge cycle can feel confusing and embarrassing, but it often makes sense when looking at the bigger picture of your life and situation. In therapy, we gently explore what’s underneath the binging (or any other behavior you might be struggling with)  without judgment. We look at patterns of restriction, the way you’re getting your emotional needs met with food, and how diet culture has shaped the way you relate to food and your body. 

Binge eating disorder treatment offers a space for you to feel safe and to find out what needs aren’t being met. Together, we uncover the messages you’ve told yourself about food and your body. Therapy can unpack where those beliefs or messages come from and challenge them with compassion. Working with a therapist can help you find more ways of meeting your needs outside of binging. 

Final Thoughts: You’re Not Broken, and You’re Not Alone

You don’t have to keep feeling this way. You don’t have to wake up every morning telling yourself you will never eat sweets again. You don’t have to tell yourself you can’t eat breakfast or lunch only to end the night the same way, stuck in the cycle of binge eating. As a therapist, I will work to help you understand your relationship with food, gently untangle the shame, and help you be more compassionate with yourself.  Healing takes time, but you don’t have to do it on your own; therapy can help. 

FAQ About Binge Eating Sweets

Do I need a diagnosis to start therapy for binge eating?

No. You don’t need a formal diagnosis to get support.  If you’re struggling with food, feel out of control around sweets, or feel shame after eating, Therapy can help, whether or not you meet criteria for binge eating disorder.

Is binge eating the same as emotional eating?

Binge eating and emotional eating can overlap, but they’re not always the same. Emotional eating usually happens in response to specific feelings, while binge eating tends to feel more compulsive or disconnected. Sometimes it can be really hard to know the difference. Therapy can help you explore both and help you understand what’s driving either behavior. 

What if I’m also trying to lose weight?

This is such a common concern. Many people hope that therapy will help them lose weight, which makes sense in a world that constantly tells us our worth is tied to our body size. My job as an eating disorder therapist is to focus on helping you heal your relationship with food. Any of your desired, long-term change comes from compassion and care, not restriction and punishment. What your body chooses to do due to that healing process may shift over time, but weight loss is not the goal of this work. 

How long does it take to stop binge eating?

There’s no quick fix, and healing isn’t linear, but many people begin to feel small shifts once they start understanding what’s driving their behavior. Relief doesn’t happen all at once, but it tends to grow over time throughout therapy. If you’re hoping to truly get to the root of your binge eating, I typically suggest to expect weekly therapy for 12 to 18 months. This gives us the space to explore not just the eating behaviors, but the emotions, beliefs, and patterns underneath them, so change can feel lasting and real.

Healing Is Possible: Binge Eating Disorder Treatment in Utah

If you’re feeling stuck in a cycle of binge eating, you’re not alone, and there is hope. Binge eating disorder treatment can help you understand your relationship with food. This Utah Eating Disorder Clinic offers you a safe and supportive space to explore what’s really going on beneath the surface. To begin counseling, follow the steps below: 

1. Schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation 

2. Meet with a binge eating disorder therapist who understands

3. Begin healing your relationship with food

About the Author 

Ashlee Hunt, LCSW, is a licensed clinical social worker and eating disorder therapist based in Utah. She is the founder of Maple Canyon Therapy, where she specializes in helping women heal their relationship with food, body image, and self-worth. Ashlee has extensive experience treating eating disorders across all levels of care and brings a compassionate, trauma-informed approach to her work.

Ashlee earned her Master’s degree in Social Work from Utah State University and has taught as an adjunct professor in the university’s social work program. She is deeply committed to education, both in and outside the therapy room, and regularly incorporates evidence-based approaches like intuitive eating, body image work, and self-compassion practices into her clinical work.

Through therapy and writing, Ashlee empowers clients to move away from shame and toward a more peaceful, connected relationship with food and their bodies.

How Do You Break up with Diet Culture?

You are starting to understand the impact diet culture has had on your life, and you want to make some changes. This is such a big and scary step sometimes. Dieting may have been familiar and even kind of comfortable. The next diet made you feel hopeful that it would solve your negative body image and make you feel more in control of food. You realize that in the end it’s just made you feel out of control and like a failure. Part of what happens in binge eating disorder treatment is understanding how dieting has impacted emotional eating and binge eating. If you are interested in ending dieting here are some tips. 

Tips to stop dieting 

Breaking up with diet culture involves changing how you think about food and your body, and it can be a life-changing process but it does require hard work. Here’s a more detailed guide to help you make this shift:

1. Understand How Diet Culture Affects You

   Diet culture promotes the idea that your worth is tied to your appearance, weight, and size. These beliefs can lead to negative body image and disordered eating habits. To stop dieting,  it’s important to educate yourself about the harmful effects of diet culture. Books like Intuitive Eating by Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch, and The Anti-Diet by Christy Harrison, offer more insight and information into how diet culture impacts your physical and mental health and provides different ways of approaching food and your body. The more you understand the negative that comes with dieting, the more it can motivate you to make changes. 

2. Reject the Diet Mentality

   The diet mentality revolves around the idea that you must follow strict rules to control your body. To move away from this, commit to breaking free from dieting. Recognize that your self-worth is not determined by your appearance or weight. Focus on body respect and body neutrality—accepting and appreciating your body without judgment. This shift in mindset can help you develop a more positive and compassionate view of yourself.

3. Listen to Your Body

   Diet culture often teaches you to ignore your body’s signs and signals and follow rigid eating rules. Instead, practice listening to your body’s hunger and fullness cues. Intuitive eating involves eating based on what your body needs rather than a strict set of rules. This means eating when you’re hungry stopping when you’re full, and being kind to yourself throughout the process especially while you are learning. Learning to trust and respond to your body is such an important step in breaking free of dieting. 

4. Avoid Diet Culture Talk

   Pay attention to how often diet-related conversations come up in your life, whether they’re about body image, dieting, or labeling foods as “good” or “bad.” These conversations can reinforce diet culture and negatively impact your self-esteem. Try to limit time spent with people who engage in diet talk or change the conversations to more positive topics. Surrounding yourself with supportive and body-positive people can help you stay focused on your goals. Remember your language matters. 

5. Consider Seeing an Eating Disorder Therapist

   Therapy can provide support in your efforts to break away from diet culture. Even if you don’t have an eating disorder, working with a therapist who specializes in eating issues can help you improve your relationship with food and body image. An eating disorder therapist can offer different ways of coping and support to help you stop the cycle of dieting and help you develop a healthier mindset. Therapy also helps to address any underlying issues that contribute to your relationship with food and a negative body image. 

Binge Eating Disorder Treatment in Utah can help you break up with diet culture

Going to Therapy, whether you have an eating disorder or not, helps you stop dieting and build a better relationship with food. Dieting leads to you feeling like a failure or that you’re not good enough. It can become easy to believe those things even when it’s not true. We can talk about your thoughts and feelings about food and your body in therapy. We’ll figure out why you diet and find different ways of coping. Binge eating disorder treatment can teach you to listen to your body's hunger and fullness signals, reduce emotional eating, and help you be more self-compassionate. 

Start working with an eating disorder therapist in Utah 

You don’t have to keep dieting and keep feeling miserable about yourself every time. You can feel better about yourself and your body. Binge eating disorder treatment can help. This Utah Eating Disorder Clinic has a binge eating disorder therapist who can help. To begin counseling follow the steps below: 

1. Schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation 

2. Meet with a therapist for eating disorders 

3. Stop dieting forever

Online Eating Disorder Therapy in Utah 

Choosing online therapy in Utah can be a big step towards feeling better about yourself and your relationship with food. Research shows that online therapy works just as well as meeting in person, which is why I provide online counseling. With online eating disorder counseling, you can talk to an eating disorder therapist from home, which saves time and makes it easier to fit into your day. You won't have to worry about driving to an office, and you can feel more relaxed in a familiar place.

Online eating disorder therapy means I work with clients all throughout Utah including Logan, Salt Lake City, Heber City, Provo, Cedar City, St. George, and more. 

About the Author 

Ashlee Hunt is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) and the owner of Maple Canyon Therapy, an online counseling practice based in Utah. She holds two bachelor’s degrees from Southern Utah University, one in Psychology and the other in Family Life and Human Development. Ashlee furthered her education by earning a master’s degree in Social Work from Utah State University. With extensive experience working with eating disorders at all levels of care, Ashlee is dedicated to supporting women in their journeys toward recovery and well-being. Through her practice, she provides compassionate and personalized therapy, drawing on her deep knowledge and commitment to mental health. In her free time, Ashlee enjoys spending time with her husband and two Goldendoodles and riding her e-bike through Snow Canyon State Park.

Is Diet Culture Good or Bad?

As an eating disorder therapist, I see the impact of diet culture on the women I work with. These women are reaching out for help because they can’t stop the cycle of restricting and then binging. They have lost weight and regained it, which leads to a hit to their self-esteem. Women who have spent time dieting are more anxious and depressed than those who don’t. When reaching out for binge eating disorder treatment, my clients are full of shame and embarrassment. They had done so well and dieted and now they believe they have no self-control. If they could only buckle down and work as hard as they did before then they would be happy. In fact, many clients reach out in hopes that I will help them lose weight because that’s their view of their problems. The problem is actually diet culture itself, and it’s not good. 

What is Diet Culture?

Diet culture is a set of beliefs that values thinness and weight loss over health and well-being. It often involves strict eating rules, labeling foods as "good" or "bad," and focusing more on your body's appearance rather than physical or mental health. It’s important to address the risks that come with dieting and how it can impact your overall health. 

Why Diet Culture Can Be Harmful:

1. Negative Body Image:

   Diet culture sets unrealistic beauty standards, making people feel unhappy with their own bodies. Comparing themselves to these perfect images on social media and elsewhere leads to low self-esteem and a negative self-image. People who diet end up being too critical of their body and tend to never feel ok about how they look long term. 

2. Increased binge eating:

    When people follow strict diets, they start to feel deprived and have strong cravings because their bodies are not getting enough nutrients. This can cause them to eat a lot of food quickly, known as binge eating. Binge eating can make them feel guilty and out of control, which can lead them to restrict and diet again. Dieting then leads to binging again. The binge cycle can be overwhelming. 

3. Increased anxiety and depression:

    Diet culture and strict dieting can cause anxiety and depression. Dieting is unstable and leads to feeling not good enough when people can’t follow the strict guidelines on a diet. Dieting leads to increased negative body image which is also related to higher levels of anxiety and depression. 

4. Health Issues:

   Extreme dieting can cause nutrient deficiencies, metabolic problems, and other health issues. It can also mess up your body's natural hunger and fullness signals, leading to an unhealthy relationship with food.

5. Impact on Eating Disorders:

   Diet culture can trigger or worsen eating disorders. The pressure to be thin and the fear of gaining weight can lead to behaviors like extreme dieting, purging, and excessive exercise. People with eating disorders often feel a loss of control around food, and diet culture can make these feelings worse. 

Is there anything good about diet culture?

Some people think diet culture can make people more aware of healthy eating and exercise. However, these benefits are often outweighed by the negative effects. Often when people start a diet they feel hopeful as their clothes feel looser and the number on the scale goes down. This reinforces dieting behaviors but because dieting isn’t sustainable it leads to regaining weight and more. This puts people in a cycle of trying to diet again but they find their brain and their body rebels from sticking to all the rules and guidelines that come with it. 

Try Intuitive eating instead 

Intuitive eating is all about listening to your body and respecting its hunger and fullness. When people first hear about intuitive eating they are immediately skeptical. They believe they’ll eat ice cream all day every day and thus will be neglecting their physical health. You may be surprised to learn that your body craves plenty of nutrient-dense foods and not just ice cream. If you’ve deprived yourself of foods like ice cream or have strict rules around how much and when you can eat it, of course, this is going to be what your body craves for a while until it can trust that you won’t keep restricting it. Intuitive eating is about trusting your body and not labeling foods as good or bad. Intuitive eating is a process and if you have a history of dieting, it may take time for you to learn to trust your body and for your body to trust you. 

Binge eating disorder treatment in Utah can help you break free from diet culture

Diet culture is more harmful than helpful. If you are struggling to like yourself and don’t trust yourself around food without binging, working with an eating disorder therapist can help. You don’t have to keep trying to figure this all out on your own. You can feel in control again. You can stop hating yourself and your body. I want you to start feeling better about yourself. 

Start working with an eating disorder therapist in Utah 

If you're having trouble with disordered eating and the effects of diet culture, it's important to get help. This Utah Counseling Center has an eating disorder therapist specializing in binge eating disorder treatment. To start counseling follow the steps below: 

1. Schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation 

2. Meet with a therapist for binge eating 

3. Break free of diet culture

Online Eating Disorder Therapy in Utah 

Online therapy is a great option because it’s convenient and flexible. You can have sessions from the comfort of your own home, which saves you time and makes it easier to fit therapy into your schedule. People make more progress in therapy when they go consistently and online therapy in Utah makes it so it’s easier to do so. You can work with an eating disorder therapist wherever you are in Utah. 

Online counseling means I work with clients in Cedar City, St. George, Provo, Heber City, Logan, Salt Lake City, and more. 

About the Author 

Ashlee Hunt is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) who holds two bachelor's degrees from Southern Utah University in Psychology and Family Life and Human Development. She earned her master’s degree in Social Work from Utah State University. Ashlee owns Maple Canyon Therapy, an online counseling practice in Utah, where she works with women struggling with eating disorders at all levels of care. Her extensive experience and dedication reflect a deep commitment to helping women achieve better mental and emotional well-being.

The Complete Guide to Understanding Diet Culture

Diet culture is a term we have heard more about over the past few years. People are becoming more aware of how harmful diet culture can be to both physical and mental health, which is a big change from the society we grew up in. In the past, there was a strong focus on constant dieting to change our bodies, lose weight, and look "better". More than ever there is recognition that dieting causes so many more problems physically and mentally, increases the prevalence of eating disorders, and negative body image. Dieting is also extremely ineffective long-term. Many experience a backlash in dieting and end up engaging in binge eating which is often what I see in my practice where I focus on binge eating disorder treatment. If you want to understand more about diet culture and how to escape it, you’ve come to the right place. Here in this guide, I’ll be answering some common questions about diet culture.

What is diet culture?

Diet culture has been around for a long time. Thousands of years even. Diet culture centers around the value of weight loss and attempts to be thin. Being thin and a focus on appearance is the most important thing and comes above both physical and mental health. Diet culture promotes being thin at whatever cost and it comes above everything else. It often attaches morals to foods and labels them as “good” or “bad” intending to avoid “bad” foods no matter what. According to diet culture, thinness reflects the epitome of beauty, success, and status. Diet culture makes disordered eating seem normal. Cutting out entire food groups, extreme dieting, and restrictive eating are typical practices in diet culture. Diet culture perpetuates unhealthy beauty standards leading to negative body image and low self-esteem. The diet industry is estimated to make $255 billion dollars per year. Diet culture impacts the development of eating disorders including binge eating disorder. 

Is diet culture good or bad?

Diet culture is extremely harmful. There’s no way around it. Diet culture is responsible for countless people developing eating disorders, self-hatred, and negative body image. It impacts people’s mental health in a negative way. Here are some reasons why. 

Reasons diet culture is harmful:

This is not a comprehensive list but are some of the ways diet culture has a negative impact.

Encourages disordered eating 

Diet culture often encourages restrictive eating, cutting out certain foods and even food groups. It encourages ignoring hunger and fullness cues and neglects to focus on physical and mental health. This focus increases anxiety around food and is difficult to let go of once you’re entrenched. 

Promotes food guilt

Diet culture makes food about morals. It labels foods as “good” or “bad” “healthy” or “unhealthy”. This leads to feelings of guilt or shame when someone breaks one of these food rules despite the biological drive to do so. 

Fuels Negative body image

Because diet culture values and idealizes thinness, it promotes looking negatively at those with larger bodies leading to negative body image. It neglects a focus on body neutrality and body respect and heavily emphasizes weight loss. 

Undermines trusting your own body 

Diet culture is about following a rigid set of rules regardless of individual [dual needs. It reinforces ignoring external cues or listening to your own body. It does not care about your mental well-being and encourages you to focus on a set of rules solely. 

What is the diet culture today? 

Diet culture changes throughout time and adapts to societal standards. Presently in 2024 there is a focus on using apps to track food and exercise, wearing watches, fitness bands, and rings to calculate calories burned and steps walked. These encourage calorie counting, macro counting, and other disordered eating behaviors. Social media has a big impact on the present-day diet culture. Health and fitness influencers sell programs and courses. There is a focus on health challenges, detoxes, and exercise regimens. Instagram, Youtube, and TikTok all have influencers promoting diet culture. Diet culture also comes in disguise and is often hidden under the guise of “health and wellness” but promotes all the rigid rules and behaviors around food that are harmful. Keto, intermittent fasting, macro counting, and anti-inflammatory diets are popular right now in culture along with avoiding gluten. Most recently diet culture has evolved into weight loss injections. 

What are examples of diet culture?

Along with the examples shared in the previous paragraph, examples of current diet culture influences promoting diet plans, cleanses, eating plant-based foods, a heavy focus on eating protein, and adding in a lot of expensive supplements that are not evidence-based. Eating low-fat, low-carb, and sugar-free continues to be part of diet culture. Part of present-day diet culture is referring to foods as “guilt-free”. There are countless examples of diet culture; sometimes they are sneaky and difficult to spot. 

How do you break up with diet culture?

It’s not an easy process to stop dieting and engaging in diet culture but it’s worth all the effort it takes. Breaking up with diet culture often involves having a different attitude about food and body image, which often requires the help of therapy. Here are some steps to try to take away from diet culture. 

Understand the impact of diet culture

It’s important to understand how diet culture is harmful to you and to others. Learning how it creates a negative relationship between body image and food. Reading the book “Intuitive Eating” and the “The Anti-Diet” can help you understand more. 

Reject the diet mentality 

Committing to stop dieting and to recognize how your worth and self-esteem come from outside of your appearance and weight. Focusing on treating your body with respect and creating body neutrality is important in moving away from diet culture. 

Listen to your body

Diet culture teaches you to follow a strict set of guidelines around food and to ignore your body’s sensations. It’s important to start listening to your body and honoring your hunger and fullness. Practicing intuitive eating and treating your body with compassion is a key to challenging diet culture

Don’t engage in diet culture talk 

You may not realize how often talking negatively about your body and labeling foods as “good” or “bad” comes up. Consider spending less time around people who do engage in this type of talk or learn to steer the conversation elsewhere positively. 

Consider meeting with an eating disorder therapist in Utah 

You don’t have to have an eating disorder to benefit from eating disorder therapy. This means you are working with an expert who can help you improve your relationship with food and your body image. Therapy can be life-changing and help you stop engaging in diet culture. 

How does diet culture affect mental health?

Diet culture can negatively impact your mental health in more ways than you might realize. It teaches and reinforces unrealistic beauty standards that most people can't achieve and their bodies were not made to achieve.  This leads to negative body image and constantly comparing yourself to others. Comparing yourself to others impacts your self-esteem and can create a belief of not feeling good enough. Diet culture encourages restrictive eating, making people obsess over food and eating, which often leads to cycles of dieting and binge eating. The pressure to stick to certain diets or avoid specific foods can cause anxiety and a negative relationship with food. Labeling foods as "good" or "bad" can make you feel guilty and ashamed when you eat certain things.

Fear of eating in front of people or in social settings because of food rules can lead to isolation and loneliness. Focusing on weight and appearance can take over and become the number one priority. This focus can take over your life leaving little room for the things you used to value and care about. Constantly thinking about food, calories, and exercise can be mentally exhausting, leaving little energy for other things.

When self-worth is tied to body size or your ability to follow a diet, it can cause pain and anxiety when you don't follow food rules or your body changes. Dieting can become part of your identity and you learn to ignore your own wants and needs.  Diet culture makes it difficult to tune into your own natural hunger and fullness signals. It takes away all the enjoyment from food and creates an obsession with following diet rules. Overall, diet culture creates a cycle of anxiety, negative thoughts, and feelings about yourself, and creates a negative relationship with body image and food. 

What are the problems with diet culture? 

There are many problems with diet culture and the impact it can have on both men and women. Here is a list of common problems that occur because of diet culture

Common issues from diet culture

Unhealthy Relationships with Food: Diet culture promotes restrictive eating and labels foods as "good" or "bad." This can lead to disordered eating habits such as restriction, binging, purging, and more. 

Obsession with body image:  Diet culture tends to make people focus more on how they look above all else. Disordered eating behaviors that come from diet culture are often disguised in the name of “health” because we have been led to believe that being thin is the same thing as being healthy. This is not true.

Weight Bias: People who don't fit the ideal body type may face unfair treatment and bias. This can lead to low self-esteem, social isolation, and increased mental health risks. 

Compromised physical health:  Diet can encourage heavy restriction of certain foods and entire food groups. This often leads to physical symptoms because of lack of proper nutrition. 

Increased anxiety and depression: Diet culture promotes unrealistic standards of beauty and negative body image, which can lead to anxiety and depression. Diet culture emphasizes focusing on strict diets and the fear of being judged by others. All of these things cause obsessive thoughts and social isolation. This constant stress and the cycle of losing and gaining weight make people feel like failures and erode at their self-esteem making them feel like they don’t have willpower or aren’t trying hard enough. 

Unsustainable way of eating: Diets are not sustainable. Up to 95 percent of people gain all the weight back and more within two years. The success rate of diets is extremely low. Please don’t convince yourself that you’ll beat the odds and be on the other side of the statistic. One thing is certain is there’s a high chance you’ll walk away with a disordered relationship with food. 

Negative body image:  Constant exposure to unrealistic body standards can make people unhappy with their bodies, leading to negative body image, anxiety, depression, and comparison to others. 

How do you say no to diet culture?

When it comes to quitting dieting and saying no to the appeals of diet culture it involves making changes. The focus will involve changing your beliefs about food, appearance, and your body and shifting more to a focus on health. Here are some ways to say no to diet culture: 

1. Focus on Intuitive Eating:

   Intuitive eating is a concept that involves learning to listen to your body’s cues for hunger and fullness and not following restrictive diets. Being able to tune back into your body may take some time especially because often when you’ve been restricting and dieting your body has learned not to waste time or energy on sending you those messages.  The good news is with time your body will trust you again and send you those messages. 

2. Focus on Health, Not Weight:

   Shift your focus from losing weight to improving overall health. Focusing on health-promoting behaviors rather than on weight loss has been shown to have better outcomes in improving health. This may be a significant shift for you but it has shown to be better also for your mental health. 

3. Stop putting morals on food:

   Stop labeling foods as "good" or "bad." All foods can fit into a balanced diet. You can enjoy a variety of foods without guilt or shame. Your language and beliefs around food matters. Shifting the way you think and speak about food is important. 

4. Practice Self-Compassion:

   Your body has been through a lot when it comes to diets. If I were to guess somewhere in your life you’ve been told or led to believe there’s something wrong with your body and it needs to be changed. This is a painful thing to experience. Be kind to yourself and your body. Recognize that everyone's body is different and that health is not determined by size or appearance.

5. Surround Yourself with Support:

   Surrounding yourself with people who don’t engage in dieting or body bashing is going to be better for your emotional well-being. Finding others who believe the same way you do and are body-neutral is going to help you quit dieting. 

6. Challenge Negative Thoughts:

   Changing your thoughts and beliefs about body, shape, and size along with health and eating can take a lot of work but it’s also one of the most important steps. Being able to make these changes involves the support of others. 

7. Go to eating disorder therapy in Utah:  

   If you're struggling to break free from diet culture on your own, consider seeking help from an eating disorder therapist who focuses on eating intuitive eating health at every size, and help you be more body neutral. You don’t have to have an eating disorder to benefit from seeing this type of therapist. 

What is the alternative to diet culture? 

An alternative to diet culture is focusing on overall health and mental health instead of just weight or appearance. This approach includes intuitive eating.  Intuitive eating means eating a variety of foods while tuning into the body’s signals without strict rules.  There is a book that can help you understand the principles of intuitive eating called “Intuitive Eating: A Revolutionary Anti-Diet Approach”. The Health at Every Size (HAES) movement promotes a focus on health outside of weight and size. The HAES movement is about utilizing healthy habits rather than losing weight. Mindful eating encourages paying attention to the experience of eating and enjoying your food. Mindful movement is an aspect of moving your body in ways that you enjoy. Exercise should not be to punish yourself or because of obligation. Exercise and movement should be something you like and can include a variety of different exercises rather than being rigid about a specific type. 

Binge eating disorder treatment in Utah can help you break free of diet culture

Going to therapy can make all the difference when you’re trying to leave behind dieting and feel better about yourself and eating. As an eating disorder, I can help you understand the underlying issues that have led you to use dieting and how you’ve learned to place so much importance on your appearance. You are so much more than that and you don’t have to keep ending up in the same cycle you’ve been in over and over again. Whether you find yourself binging or restricting, or a mix of both. You can find a much more balanced place with food and therapy can help. 

Online eating disorder therapy in Utah 

Some people worry that online therapy is not as good as meeting in person. However, that’s not true. I provide online therapy in Utah because I care so much about reaching everyone who needs access to this specialized therapy regardless of where you are in Utah. It’s just as effective as in-person therapy and much more convenient. You may be more willing to get help if you don’t have to worry about traveling long distances or commuting and that makes all the difference. I have been providing online therapy for several years and know how to connect with my clients in this way. 

Online counseling also means that I work with clients all over the state of Utah including St. George, Cedar City, Heber City, Provo, Logan, Salt Lake City, and more. 

Start working with an eating disorder therapist in Utah 

You don’t have to keep getting caught in the cycle of dieting and hating your body. Therapy can help. This Utah Counseling Center has an eating disorder therapist who specializes in improving your relationship with food through therapy including binge eating disorder treatment. To start counseling follow the steps below: 

1. Schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation 

2. Meet with a therapist for eating disorders 

3. Break free from diet culture

About the Author

Ashlee Hunt LCSW is the founder of Maple Canyon Therapy originally located in Spanish Fork, Utah on Main Street near Glade’s Drive Inn. Maple Canyon Therapy now provides online therapy all throughout the state of Utah. Ashlee has two bachelor’s degrees from Southern Utah University: one in psychology and another in family life and human development. She received her master’s degree in social work from Utah State University. Ashlee has worked with eating disorders at all levels of care from inpatient treatment to outpatient therapy and particularly enjoys working with those with binge eating disorder. She loves helping women break free from diet culture and to make peace with their bodies again.

What is Diet Culture?

Slim Fast, Jenny Craig, Atkins Diet, Whole30, Keto, Paleo, Intermittent Fasting, Ozempic, and countless other diets have one thing in common: they are all products of diet culture. They’ve all made promises of weight loss, thinness, and ultimately a happier life than you’ve ever had before. One of the many problems with diet culture is that it preys on vulnerable people who want to feel better about themselves. Diet culture not only doesn’t deliver the results that are promised but it makes things worse. Dieting leads to rebound weight gain and binge eating, which is what I see in providing binge eating disorder treatment. It can be hard to see all of the red flags of diet culture at first but that’s what I want to be able to help you see. 

What is Diet Culture?

Diet culture has existed for a long time, even thousands of years. It is all about focusing on weight loss and thinness, often putting appearance above both physical and mental health. According to diet culture, being thin is the most important thing and is seen as a sign of beauty, success, and status. The tricky part about diet culture is that it doesn’t come right out and say this. It can be deceiving and disguised in the name of improving health so much that you might believe it too. It’s much easier to admit that you are trying to be “healthy” rather than trying to be thin.

Diet culture often labels foods as “good” or “bad,” encouraging you to avoid “bad” foods no matter what. It can even encourage you never to eat those foods again. This can lead to extreme dieting, cutting out whole food groups, and unhealthy eating habits. These behaviors are considered normal in diet culture, even though they are both mentally and physically harmful. For example, you might cut out all carbohydrates or fats, thinking it will make you healthier or thinner, even though your body needs these essential nutrients to function.

The influence of diet culture goes beyond just eating habits. It affects how society views beauty and can lead to negative body image and low self-esteem. Many people try to follow these unhealthy standards because it can seem like a solution to a lot of emotional suffering. You might feel pressured to look a certain way because you see celebrities or influencers who promote these unrealistic body ideals. This can make you feel bad about your own body and lead to feelings of inadequacy, anxiety, depression, and a poor relationship with food. 

The diet industry makes a lot of money from this culture, about $255 billion a year. It sells products and plans that promise quick weight loss, even if they are not healthy or effective in the long run. Diet culture leads you to believe that it will solve all your problems and once you reach being thin, you’ll be happy.  This includes things like diet pills, meal replacement shakes, and extreme workout programs. These products often come with a high price tag, but they don’t provide lasting results, leading you to spend more money trying new diets and products.

Diet culture also impacts binge eating. The strict rules and rules about food can lead to cycles of restricting food and overeating. When you break your diet rules, you often feel guilty and ashamed, which can trigger binge eating episodes. These episodes involve eating large amounts of food quickly and feeling uncomfortable afterward. This cycle of restriction and binge eating can lead to serious eating disorders. For example, you might restrict your eating all day and then binge eat at night because you are so hungry. This can create a harmful pattern and can require the help of an eating disorder therapist to recover. 

Aside from Binge Eating Disorder, diet culture also leads to other eating disorders such as anorexia, bulimia, and orthorexia. The relentless pressure to be thin can drive you to engage in extreme behaviors to lose weight or maintain a certain body size. Anorexia involves restriction of food, which can lead to weight loss and health complications. Bulimia involves cycles of binge eating followed by purging through vomiting, excessive exercise, or laxative use. Orthorexia is an obsession with eating "pure" or "clean" foods, which can result in nutritional deficiencies and severe anxiety around food. These eating disorders are often fueled by unrealistic standards and harmful messages perpetuated by diet culture, creating a toxic environment where disordered eating behaviors are normalized and even encouraged. Eating disorders are a serious mental health issue and can be quite dangerous.

Intuitive eating instead of dieting

Intuitive eating is the antidote to dieting. It’s all about listening to your body's hunger and fullness cues rather than following rigid dieting rules.  Intuitive eating promotes a healthy relationship with food by ditching moral labels of "good" and "bad." Instead of focusing on weight loss, intuitive eating emphasizes overall health and well-being. By trusting your body's natural signals, you can enjoy a variety of foods without guilt or shame, leading to better physical and mental health. This approach helps break the cycle of restriction and binge eating, which is a more sustainable and positive way to nourish your body.

Binge eating disorder treatment in Utah can help you heal your relationship with food

If dieting has led you to a cycle of binging that you can’t seem to escape, binge eating disorder treatment in Utah can help. Binge eating doesn’t have to run your life and wreck your self-esteem. With the help of an eating disorder therapist specializing in binge eating disorder, you can find relief from the cycle of dieting and not let it consume so much of your thinking. Eating disorder therapy is all about helping you learn to cope with emotions and dig deep into what is driving your pattern of dieting and binging in a safe place where you don’t have to worry about judgment. 

Begin working with an eating disorder therapist in Utah 

You can stop binging and have a better relationship with food. You don’t have to keep feeling trapped in your head and in your body. This Utah Counseling Clinic has an eating disorder therapist specializing in helping you break free of binging. To begin counseling follow the steps below: 

1. Schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation 

2. Meet with a binge eating disorder therapist 

3. Start recovering from disordered eating 

Online Eating Disorder Therapy in Utah 

It can be difficult to prioritize regular therapy appointments when it requires you to travel and carve out time in your busy schedule to deal with barriers like traffic. This is why I provide online therapy in Utah. I assure you that online therapy is just as good as in-person therapy without the hassle of worrying about parking and getting stuck in traffic. 

Online counseling also means I work with clients all throughout the state of Utah including Cedar City, St. George, Provo, Heber City, Salt Lake City, Logan, and more. 

About the Author 

Ashlee Hunt holds two bachelor's degrees from Southern Utah University, one in Psychology and the other in Family Life and Human Development. She furthered her education by earning a master's degree in Social Work from Utah State University. With extensive experience in the field of eating disorders, Ashlee has worked at all levels of care, providing compassionate and effective treatment to individuals struggling with these challenges. Her expertise and dedication make her a trusted and knowledgeable therapist in the area of eating disorder recovery.

Should Someone with an Eating Disorder Serve an LDS Mission?

The question comes up often: Should someone with an eating disorder serve an LDS mission? My answer is no. Missionary work is demanding, spiritually, emotionally, and physically  and those demands can make an eating disorder worse, not better. Even someone who isn’t using active eating disorder behaviors still needs a strong and stable eating disorder recovery still needs strong and steady recovery before entering an environment as stressful and structured as a mission.

I want to be clear about my intention in writing this. This isn’t about criticizing missionary service or questioning the faith of those who want to serve. I have deep respect for young adults who choose to give so much of themselves. What I cannot do is minimize the risks. Eating disorders are serious medical and psychological conditions, and ignoring them in the name of faith or duty only causes more harm. Not serving because of an eating disorder does not mean someone is weak, less faithful, or lacking in desire, but it means their health and safety come first. My goal is to give families honest information so they can protect their loved ones and make decisions that put health first. If you or your family are navigating these challenges, know that eating disorder therapy in Utah can provide the specialized support needed for eating disorder recovery and long-term health.

In this post, I’ll walk through why serving a mission with an eating disorder is unsafe, what stable eating disorder recovery should look like before missionary service, and how families can take steps toward healing and hope.

Why Serving with an Eating Disorder Is Unsafe

Missionary life is physically, emotionally, and spiritually demanding. Long days, strict schedules, and constant pressure to represent the Church can take a toll on even the healthiest young adult. For someone with an eating disorder, these demands can make symptoms worse instead of better.

It’s also important to be clear about this: serving a mission does not make an eating disorder go away. The Church has even acknowledged this in the Ensign (2007): “Eating disorders … will not resolve themselves during a mission. Because they are so difficult to treat, they may not be compatible with missionary service.” In other words, hoping a mission will “fix” the problem is not realistic.

I explore more about how anxiety, perfectionism, and missionary culture connect with eating disorders in my full post on LDS Missionaries and Mental Health.

Treating an eating disorder is already an intense process, even outside of missionary service. Most people in recovery need a full team: an eating disorder therapist, dietitian, and medical doctor, along with regular therapy sessions, meal support, and daily work on eating patterns and coping skills. Recovery also requires steady access to family, loved ones, and supportive relationships. These supports help keep recovery on track, especially during moments of stress or setback.

One common mistake families make is believing that their missionary “isn’t sick enough” to need this level of care. Eating disorders don’t have to reach a certain weight, shape, or severity to be dangerous. If symptoms are present, treatment is necessary. Minimizing the illness only delays healing and increases the risk of serious complications.

This is especially true for binge eating disorder. Binge Eating Disorder often looks different from the stereotypical picture of an eating disorder; people may dismiss it as “overeating” or a lack of willpower. However, binge eating disorder is a serious medical and psychological condition. It can cause physical complications, deep shame, and emotional distress, and it requires the same level of professional eating disorder treatment and support as anorexia or bulimia.

Missionary life doesn’t allow for the kind of support eating disorder recovery requires. Missionaries are far from family and treatment teams, and their schedule leaves little room for coping strategies like rest, hobbies, or social support. Even if a missionary wants help, getting the right treatment during missionary service is extremely difficult. Without this support, the risks of relapse, medical complications, or emotional harm increase significantly.

What Stable Eating Disorder Recovery Should Look Like Before Serving

If serving a mission is the goal, eating disorder recovery has to come first. Mission life is simply too stressful and structured for someone who is still in the early or fragile stages of healing. Stable eating disorder recovery means more than just “not using eating disorder behaviors” for a short time. It means having the tools, support, and consistency to stay well even when life feels hard.

The National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) reminds us that recovery usually takes years, not weeks or months. Many people need ongoing treatment and support before they can live free of eating disorder symptoms and handle triggers without slipping back. That’s why someone should only consider serving once they’ve been in steady recovery for a good amount of time, with both their loved ones and their treatment team agreeing they’re ready.

Some signs that eating disorder recovery is stable enough to even think about serving might look like this:

• Eating regularly. Meals and snacks are consistent without skipping, restricting, bingeing, or purging.

• Coping with triggers in healthy ways. Stress, body image struggles, or perfectionism don’t lead back to old eating disorder behaviors.

• Emotional balance. They can face rejection, companionship stress, and spiritual pressure without falling into shame or constant self-criticism.

• Support system agreement. Their eating disorder therapist, dietitian, doctor, and family all feel confident that eating disorder recovery is solid.

This decision should always be made with the guidance of an eating disorder treatment team, especially a therapist who specializes in eating disorders. They understand how complex eating disorder recovery is and can give honest feedback about whether someone is ready. Families and leaders shouldn’t have to guess, and faith alone is not enough to keep someone safe.

Eating disorder recovery also depends on steady support from family and loved ones, as well as access to coping tools like rest, hobbies, and relationships. Since missionaries don’t always have these things in the mission field, it’s important that those skills are strong and reliable before leaving.

Eating disorder recovery takes time, courage, and patience. A mission may be part of someone’s future, but it should never come before their health.

The Risks of Serving Too Soon

When someone with an eating disorder tries to serve a mission before they’re ready, the risks are very real. Missions are already stressful for healthy young adults. Adding an eating disorder on top of that stress can cause serious harm.

Some of the risks include:

• Eating Disorder Relapse. The pressure, strict schedules, and lack of support often bring old eating disorder behaviors back, even if someone has been doing well at home.

• Medical problems. Eating disorders affect the whole body. Serving too soon can lead to fainting, malnutrition, heart strain, or other dangerous complications.

• Emotional and spiritual harm. Missionaries who relapse often feel shame, guilt, or unworthiness. Instead of feeling closer to God, they may feel like they are failing spiritually when, really, it’s their illness.

• Early return. Many missionaries who relapse have to come home early for medical care. This can add even more pain and stigma when it could have been prevented by waiting.

These risks aren’t about weakness or lack of faith. They are about the reality of how serious eating disorders are. Serving too soon can make recovery longer and harder. Putting mental and physical health first is not failure. 

The reality is that eating disorders are complex and difficult to treat, even in the best circumstances. The Church and mission presidents often don’t have the resources, training, or support systems in place to manage these illnesses during missionary service. As a result of this, missionaries with eating disorders are often sent home quickly if their struggles become visible. Knowing this, many missionaries do their best to hide symptoms out of fear of being sent home, which only makes the illness worse and prolongs suffering.

Support for Missionaries with Eating Disorders: Next Steps

If you’re worried about a missionary or future missionary with an eating disorder, the most important step is to put eating disorder recovery first. Missionary service is meaningful, but it should never come at the cost of long-term well-being.

Families and leaders can help by listening without judgment, asking open questions, and encouraging honesty. An eating disorder cannot be resolved by faith, prayer, scripture study, or the atonement alone, and it’s important not to pressure someone to believe otherwise or to push through without help. Faith can be a source of strength, but eating disorders need professional care. 

Whenever possible, these decisions should be made with the guidance of an eating disorder treatment team, including a therapist who specializes in eating disorders. Professional support makes a huge difference in whether eating disorder recovery is lasting and stable.

Begin Eating Disorder Therapy in Utah

If you or your loved one is facing the question of whether to serve a mission while struggling with an eating disorder, the first step isn’t deciding about service; it’s choosing eating disorder recovery. Mental health and healing have to come first.

Eating disorders don’t get better by pushing through, and they aren’t cured by faith or willpower alone. They need professional care, steady support, and time. Choosing therapy now can protect the future and open the door to a healthier, stronger life, whether or not that includes a mission.

How to Start Working with an Eating Disorder Therapist in Utah

Taking the first step toward recovery can feel overwhelming, but I want to make starting eating disorder therapy simple for you. This Utah Eating Disorder Clinic has an eating disorder therapist who can help.  Here’s how to get started:

1. Schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation 

2. Meet online with a therapist for eating disorders.

3. Begin eating disorder recovery

Online Eating Disorder Therapy in Utah 

You don’t have to live near my office to get the support you need. Through secure online therapy in Utah, I’m able to work with women across the entire state of Utah. Many clients find that meeting online feels just as personal and supportive as being in the same room. You can talk openly from the comfort of your own home. 

Whether you are located in St. George, Cedar City, Heber City, Salt Lake City, Logan to Provo, or anywhere in between, I can help you recover from your eating disorder

About the Author

Ashlee Hunt, LCSW, is a licensed clinical social worker and the owner of Maple Canyon Therapy, an online counseling practice serving women across Utah. She earned her master’s degree in Social Work from Utah State University and has extensive experience treating eating disorders at every level of care, including inpatient, residential, intensive outpatient, and outpatient therapy.

Ashlee specializes in helping adult women heal from eating disorders, body image struggles, and anxiety. She combines her clinical expertise with years of direct work alongside missionaries, returned missionaries, and women of faith, giving her unique insight into the pressures and cultural influences that can affect recovery.

As both a therapist and an advocate, Ashlee is passionate about breaking the stigma around eating disorders and making compassionate, evidence-based treatment more accessible. Through her blog, she provides education, resources, and hope for families navigating eating disorder recovery.

Can LDS Missionaries Develop Eating Disorders While Serving?

Missionary work is demanding: spiritually, emotionally, and physically. There’s no way around it. What many people don’t realize, though, is how those demands can affect food, body image, and mental health.

In my blog “LDS Missionaries and Mental Health: Eating Disorders, Anxiety, and Perfectionism,” I shared a disclaimer that I’ll share again here: my intention is not to criticize missionary service, but to shine a light on the challenges missionaries face so we can support them better. These young adults are giving up everything familiar to follow their hearts and serve. They deserve care, compassion, and resources that match the level of sacrifice they’re making. That’s why I’m here. This is my compassion and conviction not to be unsupportive. For those already struggling, eating disorder therapy in Utah can provide compassionate, specialized support.

Why Missionaries Are at Risk for Eating Disorders

Eating disorders often begin in late adolescence or early adulthood, which is exactly when most missionaries are leaving home to serve. Ages 18 and 19 are already a vulnerable time for developing disordered eating, even without the added pressures of missionary life. When you layer on strict rules, loss of control, and the constant expectation to represent their faith, it creates an environment where eating disorders can easily take root.

Eating disorders can develop during missionary service, even in young adults who have never struggled with food or body image before. The stress, structure, and constant expectations of missionary life can create the perfect storm for disordered eating to take hold. For those who already had concerns about eating or weight before they left, the pressures of mission life can make those struggles worse.

Sometimes this is hard for members to recognize because of the belief that missionaries carry a mantle and are protected. While that spiritual protection may bring strength in some ways, it doesn’t make missionaries immune to mental health struggles. Eating disorders can happen to anyone, and they often show up more in missionary service than most people realize. This isn’t about blaming missionary work. It’s about telling the truth so we can notice the signs early and give missionaries the support they need.

The Pressures of Missionary Life and Eating Behaviors

Missionary life is built around a strict daily schedule. Every hour is planned. From studying to proselytizing, to working with ward members. Structure can be helpful, but it can also leave little of their own control.  For a missionary who is already feeling anxious or out of control, that lack of flexibility can quickly turn into trying to control food. 

On top of that, missionaries live with the constant pressure of making sure everyone hears their gospel message.  Every interaction is seen as a reflection of their role as a representative of the Church and Jesus Christ. Always having to put on a brave face can make basic needs like rest, comfort, or food feel like weaknesses instead of part of being human. Over time, that pressure can twist into worries about eating or appearance.

Food itself also looks very different depending on where a missionary serves. Some are placed in cultures where refusing food is considered rude, and they may feel pressure to eat beyond fullness. Others may serve in areas where food is scarce, unfamiliar, or very different from what they grew up with. In both cases, missionaries don’t always have the ability to eat intuitively,  to listen to their body’s natural hunger and fullness cues. Instead, meals may become about politeness, rules, or survival rather than true nourishment.

Many missionaries also feel a strong push to model discipline and self-control. While discipline can be a positive trait, it sometimes shifts in harmful directions. A missionary who feels like they can’t teach enough lessons or control their numbers may turn instead to controlling their food intake, exercise, or appearance. Over time, this can grow into unhealthy patterns.

This is one of the ways missionary body image struggles can develop. The drive to be seen as dedicated and disciplined can spill into how missionaries view their bodies, convincing them that weight, size, or appearance somehow reflects their worth or spiritual strength.

Diet Changes and Cultural Shifts

One of the biggest changes missionaries face is food. Serving in a new place or even a new country often means eating meals that are different from what they are used to. What feels normal in one culture may feel overwhelming or uncomfortable for a missionary trying to adjust.

Portion sizes can also be very different. In some areas, meals are large, and missionaries may feel pressure to eat more than they want so they don’t seem rude. In other areas, food may be limited, and missionaries may not know if they’ll get enough to feel full. This back-and-forth can make eating stressful and may lead to skipping meals, overeating, or feeling guilty about food choices.

Another part of mission life is that Church members often feed missionaries as a way to show love and support. While this can be a blessing, it can also bring extra pressure. Missionaries may feel like they have to clean their plates to show gratitude, even when they are full. Over time, this can make it harder for them to listen to their hunger and fullness cues and may add to worries about body image.

On top of all this, there’s the constant talk about missionary weight gain/loss. Talk of missionaries gaining weight is so common that it’s often joked about before they even leave. What’s often missed is that this age group is still growing and developing. Many missionaries are still in their teenage years, and it’s completely normal for their bodies to change at this stage of life, including weight gain. Weight changes don’t mean they are doing something wrong; this is just a part of healthy development.

On the other hand, missionaries who lose weight because of stress, illness, or food scarcity may also get comments. Whether it’s about gaining or losing, these remarks can create shame and increase anxiety about appearance.

When food becomes more about politeness or pressure than about true nourishment, missionaries may begin to feel disconnected from their bodies. Over time, this disconnection can open the door to disordered eating.

Companion Dynamics and Food

Missionaries don’t eat alone. Meals are tied to companionship rules, which means eating together at set times and often eating the same foods. This lack of personal flexibility can feel hard for someone who may already struggle with food choices or who simply eats differently than their companion.

Eating side by side with a companion also creates constant opportunities for comparison. Missionaries notice not only how much their companion eats but also what kinds of foods they choose, how quickly they finish, or whether they go back for seconds. For people who are already prone to eating disorders, this type of comparison can become overwhelming. What might start as a simple observation, “My companion eats less than I do,” can grow into guilt, shame, or pressure to change eating habits just to match.

Comments can make this even harder. Even lighthearted or well-meaning jokes about weight, appetite, or body size can be harmful. A remark like “you eat so much more than me” or “you’re lucky you don’t gain weight” may seem small, but it can stick and deepen food anxiety.

Another challenge is how missionaries pay for food. Companions often put their money together and shop for groceries as a pair. This can make budgeting easier, but it also means they usually end up eating the same meals. For a missionary who is used to eating differently at home, this can feel hard. They may not get the foods they prefer or need and may feel pressure to go along with whatever their companion chooses. Over time, this lack of choice can add stress around food and make it harder to keep a healthy relationship with eating.

Signs a Missionary Might Be Struggling with an Eating Disorder

Eating disorders can be hard to see, especially for missionaries who are far from home. Families usually only get weekly emails, short calls, and a few photos, which makes it easy for struggles to stay hidden. Still, there are warning signs to look for:

• Talking a lot about weight or food in emails or calls
  Frequent comments about gaining weight, eating too much, or focusing heavily on meals can point to deeper concerns.

• Avoiding or refusing foods in social or cultural situations
  Saying “I’m too full” or “I don’t like that” may sometimes be true, but if it becomes a pattern, it could signal food anxiety or control issues.

• Excessive exercise or guilt about missing workouts
  Feeling like they must exercise no matter what, or making up for eating by pushing themselves physically, can be a red flag.

• Emotional changes
  Increased shame, self-criticism, irritability, or frequent apologies may reflect inner struggles with food and body image.

None of these signs alone proves that a missionary has an eating disorder, but noticing them with compassion can open the door for honest conversations and needed support.

Support and Next Steps

Missionaries may not always have access to an eating disorder therapist while they are serving. That can make it hard to get the help they really need during missionary service. Families and leaders can still play an important role by listening without judgment, encouraging open conversations, and helping a missionary feel less alone.  Families and leaders should also avoid pressuring a missionary to “have more faith” or to stay in the field when they are clearly struggling. Faith is not a substitute for professional care, and asking a missionary to push through an eating disorder can cause more harm. Supporting their health first is the most loving and faithful choice. Struggling with an eating disorder means they might have to make the difficult but brave decision to pause missionary service so a young adult can focus on recovery.

Start Eating Disorder Therapy in Utah 

The most important thing to remember is that eating disorders are treatable, and recovery is possible. Working with an eating disorder therapist makes a difference, both during missionary service and afterward. If you or someone you love is struggling, know that help is available. This Utah Eating Disorder Clinic has an eating disorder therapist who provides compassionate, specialized care to guide the healing process. To start eating disorder therapy in Utah, follow these steps: 

1. Schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation 

2. Meet with a therapist for eating disorders 

3. Begin eating disorder recovery 

Online Eating Disorder Therapy in Utah

Getting the right help should not depend on where you live. That’s why I offer online therapy in Utah, so you can access specialized care no matter your city or county. Therapy is private, convenient, and focused on helping you build a healthier relationship with food, body, and self. With online care, compassionate support is available anywhere in Utah.

 Whether you’re in Salt Lake City, Provo, St. George, Cedar City, Heber City, Logan, or a smaller town in between, online sessions make it easier to get consistent support without the stress of travel. 

About the Author

Ashlee Hunt, LCSW, is a licensed clinical social worker and the owner of Maple Canyon Therapy, an online counseling practice in Utah. She specializes in eating disorder therapy for women and has worked at every level of care: inpatient, residential, and outpatient — before starting her own practice.

Ashlee earned her master’s degree in Social Work from Utah State University and has over a decade of experience helping women heal their relationships with food, body image, and self-worth. She also teaches university-level social work courses, training the next generation of therapists in empowerment, multicultural competence, and trauma-informed care.

Drawing on her clinical expertise and lived experience within LDS culture, Ashlee writes about the unique mental health challenges faced by missionaries and young adults in faith-based settings. Her goal is to break stigma, offer compassionate support, and make specialized therapy accessible to people across Utah.

LDS Missionaries and Mental Health: Eating Disorders, Anxiety, and Perfectionism

We rarely talk about eating disorders in LDS missionaries, but it’s time we do. You may be asking yourself, can LDS missionaries develop an eating disorder while serving? If you want a deeper dive into how these challenges first emerge in service, check out my dedicated post on that very question.

Five years ago, I sat down at my keyboard and poured out a blog post called “LDS Missionaries and Eating Disorders: It’s Time to Talk About It.” I remember writing with urgency, every thought I’d carried as an eating disorder therapist working with future, current, and returned missionaries spilled across my computer screen. 

Now, half a decade later, that post is still one of the only pieces outside of official Church resources that even mentions this issue. In the years since, my experience has only deepened. I’ve seen more clearly why missionaries are so vulnerable, I’ve felt greater compassion for their struggles, and honestly, more frustration with how these challenges are often handled.

Before I go further, I need you to promise me something, please don’t take offense. Please don’t think that I’m unsupportive of missionaries.  Nothing could be further from the truth. I also can’t sugarcoat the reality when it comes to the well-being and mental health of these young people. If I don’t tell the truth, then we can’t help them get better. We need to make changes, and change is a good thing. I’m here to offer both my professional expertise and my lived experience, because these missionaries deserve better.

Missionaries are following their hearts, sacrificing years of their young lives, and doing something they’ve likely looked forward to for years. The least we can do is acknowledge their struggles and offer better support. That’s why I’m here again to share more insights, more compassion, and hopefully, more hope. If you or someone you love is struggling, please know that help is available through eating disorder therapy in Utah. 

 Why Mental Health Challenges Are Common Among LDS Missionaries

The Unique Pressures of Missionary Life

Missionaries live under a highly structured schedule: waking up early, studying for hours, walking or biking miles, learning another language,  teaching lessons, and reporting numbers. They are doing all of this while being away from home for 18–24 months with FaceTime and emailing their family only once a week.  That level of structure can be helpful for some, but for others it creates intense pressure. Missionaries are expected to be “always on,” representing both their family and their faith. It can feel heavy to always act according to what their name badges represent. There’s very little downtime, privacy, or ability to enjoy hobbies or use the coping skills they used at home. This can leave young people vulnerable to anxiety, depression, or unhealthy coping mechanisms like disordered eating.

One of the biggest challenges is that missionaries have very little control over their day-to-day lives. From the moment they wake up until lights out, every hour is planned, and choices like when to rest, what to eat, or how to spend free time are limited. For some, this lack of choice can feel overwhelming. Eating disorders are often rooted in a search for control. The rigid structure of missionary life can unintentionally create the perfect storm of controlling food, or the body becomes one of the few ways a missionary feels they can take ownership of their experience.

Spiritual Expectations and Perfectionism

Missionary culture often emphasizes exact obedience, diligence, and giving your all to the work, as this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to serve. While those values can be motivating, they can also feed perfectionism. Many missionaries feel that if they aren’t constantly working, baptizing, or inviting others to Come Unto Christ, they’re letting God down. That belief can make normal struggles and feelings, such as fatigue, loneliness, and discouragement, feel like personal or spiritual failure. Missionaries carry this weight that everyone they meet needs the opportunity to hear their message, and what if they don’t deliver it in a way that others feel the spirit? For those predisposed to anxiety or eating disorders, this perfectionism can easily turn inward, fueling negative self-talk, body image issues, shame, and scrupulosity. Scrupulosity is a form of religious OCD where worthiness and spiritual performance are constantly questioned.

Physical and Emotional Demands

Missionary service is physically and emotionally exhausting. Missionaries adjust to new diets, climates, and cultures while often getting far less sleep and free time than they’re used to. They carry emotional burdens as they listen to people’s struggles, face rejection daily, and navigate companionship relationship dynamics. Add homesickness and limited contact with family, and it’s no wonder mental health challenges are common. When you combine that level of stress with limited access to mental health care, the result can be overwhelming, sometimes showing up as anxiety, depression, or eating disorders.

Eating Disorders in LDS Missionary Service

Can Missionaries Develop Eating Disorders While Serving?

Yes. Missionaries can develop eating disorders while serving, even if they never struggled with one before. Mission life is stressful. Schedules are strict, missionaries are far from home, and the pressure to “always do your best” can feel overwhelming. In that environment, some missionaries turn to food or body control as a way to cope.

For those who already had concerns about weight or eating before their mission, the stress and structure can make things worse. This isn’t about blaming missionary service. It’s about telling the truth, so struggles can be noticed and help can be offered.

Common Triggers for Missionary Eating Disorders (Weight Comments, Schedule, Food Restrictions)

There are a few common triggers that can lead to eating problems on a mission:

• Weight comments: Many missionaries hear about mission weight gain being common in missionaries.. Even lighthearted jokes can cause shame or worry.

• Rigid schedule: Missionaries don’t get to choose when or what they eat. That lack of control can trigger restriction, bingeing, or food obsession.

• Foreign countries and food culture: Some missionaries serve in places where the food is very different from what they’re used to. They may feel pressure to eat meals out of politeness or struggle with limited access to familiar foods. In other areas, food might be scarce or portions unpredictable. These cultural changes can be stressful and sometimes lead to disordered eating or over-exercise as a way to cope.

• Stress and pressure: Constant rejection, long hours, and the drive to do more can make food and body control feel like the only thing a missionary can manage.

What may start as “just trying to be careful” can easily grow into harmful behaviors.

 Sister Missionaries and Body Image Pressures

Sister missionaries often face extra pressure around appearance. In society in general, young women can feel judged more closely for how they look. On a mission, this pressure may grow stronger.

Sisters may compare themselves to companions or worry about how they look in photos. Even well-meaning comments like, “You look great, you haven’t gained weight!” can send the message that staying thin is part of being successful or worthy. Many sisters silently struggle while appearing dedicated and strong on the outside.

Warning Signs Families Should Look For

Families don’t see much of their missionary. Weekly emails, short calls, and photos are often the only window into their life. That makes spotting an eating disorder hard, especially when you cannot tell someone is struggling with an eating disorder based on appearance or weight, but there are signs to pay attention to:

• Talking a lot about food or weight, “I don’t want to gain weight,” “the food here is too much.”

• Changes in tone — sounding tired, discouraged, or withdrawn.

• Exercise habits — being strict about workouts or feeling guilty for missing one.

• Shame and self-criticism — saying things like, “I’m not doing enough” or apologizing often.

• Visible changes in photos — sudden weight loss, tired eyes, or muscle loss.

If you notice these things, the most important step is to respond with love, not panic. Gentle, open questions like, “How are you feeling about food and your health lately?” can open the door for honesty without shame.

Anxiety and Stress Among Missionaries

Why Anxiety Is So Prevalent on LDS Missions

It’s no secret that missionary work is stressful. Missionaries are young, most often 18 or 19 years old, and suddenly find themselves living in a completely different environment, away from family, friends, and the comforts of home, often for the first time in their lives. On top of that, they’re expected to adjust quickly, learn new skills, and perform at a high level every single day. That’s a lot for anyone, let alone someone still figuring out who they are.

There are several reasons why anxiety is so common among missionaries:

• Homesickness and separation: For many, this is the first time living away from home for such an extended period. Limited contact with family can heighten feelings of isolation.

• Constant rejection: Missionaries hear “no” far more than they hear “yes.” Repeated rejection, even when expected, takes a toll. Rejection is often not delivered politely, and missionaries are often met with anger and hostility

• High expectations: Missionaries are reminded daily that they are representing God, Jesus Christ, their families, and their Church. That responsibility can feel heavy.

• Strict structure: Schedules are tightly controlled with little flexibility. While structure can help some, for others it amplifies anxiety, especially if they feel they’re falling short.

• Companionship dynamics: Living 24/7 with another person can be difficult, especially if personalities clash or if one companion struggles emotionally. Missionaries don’t get to choose their companions, and they may have little in common. They are still expected to teach with unity and work well together.

All of these pressures add up, and anxiety often shows itself in racing thoughts, trouble sleeping, physical tension, or perfectionism. In some cases, missionaries hide their anxiety out of fear that acknowledging it means they’re not strong enough or don’t have enough faith” to serve. This silence only makes the struggle worse.

 Naming these realities isn’t about being negative toward missionary work. It’s about being honest, so that families, leaders, and missionaries themselves can recognize anxiety for what it is, an expected response to very real pressures. It’s not from lack of faith, not trying hard enough, not being exactly obedient. It’s from being a human.

The Role of Perfectionism in Missionary Anxiety

Perfectionism is one of the biggest drivers of missionary anxiety. Many missionaries believe that anything less than giving 100% all the time means they are failing God, their leaders, or themselves. The culture of “exact obedience” can intensify this pressure. A missionary might ruminate about how they used their time, worrying about whether they talked to enough people, studied long enough, or followed every rule perfectly.

When mistakes or shortcomings happen, which they inevitably do, and are expected, perfectionism makes them feel like they are unworthy rather than opportunities for growth. Over time, this mindset fuels anxiety, creating constant self-criticism and fear of letting others down. For some missionaries, perfectionism doesn’t just drive anxiety, but it can also spill over into how they treat their body, food, or appearance, making them even more vulnerable to eating disorders.

Recognizing perfectionism for what it is, a heavy, unrealistic burden, is the first step to helping missionaries find healthier ways to measure their worth.

Signs a Missionary May Be Struggling with Anxiety

Anxiety doesn’t always look the way we expect it to. Some missionaries push through with a smile and seem upbeat with a good attitude, but inside they’re exhausted, tense, and on edge. Others may show it more openly. Every missionary is different, but here are some common signs that anxiety may be taking a toll:

• Physical symptoms: headaches, stomachaches, trouble sleeping, feeling shaky or restless.

• Emotional strain: frequent worry, irritability, or becoming tearful over small things.

• Behavioral changes: withdrawing from their companion, avoiding people, or becoming overly rigid with rules and routines.

• Spiritual concerns: feeling like they aren’t good enough, worrying constantly about worthiness, or struggling to feel peace even when they’re doing their best.

It’s important to remember that none of these signs mean a missionary is weak or unfaithful. Again, they mean they’re human and are carrying more stress than their body and mind know how to handle on their own. Naming these signs with compassion opens the door for support rather than shame.

How Anxiety and Eating Disorders Overlap in Missionaries

Anxiety and eating disorders often occur together, and missionary life can highlight that connection. Both are driven by perfectionism, self-criticism, and a desire for control. When a missionary worries about whether they’re doing enough, teaching well enough, or being obedient enough, that pressure doesn’t always stay in the spiritual or emotional area but can spill over into their relationship with food and their body.

Some missionaries cope with anxiety by restricting food, hoping the discipline will bring a sense of control. Others may binge eat when stress feels unbearable, then struggle with guilt and shame afterward. For some, anxiety shows up as obsessive thoughts about weight, appearance, or how much exercise they’re getting, all while trying to manage the constant expectations of missionary service.

The overlap between anxiety and eating disorders isn’t a sign of weakness but is the mind and body’s way of trying to cope with an overwhelming amount of stress. Recognizing this connection is the first step toward offering missionaries compassion, support, and real help instead of judgment.

Perfectionism and Missionary Culture

What Perfectionism Looks Like in Missionary Life

Perfectionism often shows up in missionary culture because so much focus is placed on exact obedience, hard work, and “giving your all.” Many missionaries believe that if they don’t follow every rule perfectly or work as hard as possible, they’re letting God down.

This can look like:

• Feeling guilty if they don’t meet daily or weekly goals.

• Comparing themselves constantly to companions or other missionaries.

• Believing that if someone doesn’t feel the Spirit during a lesson, it’s their fault.

• Struggling to rest, relax, or take breaks because it feels “lazy.”

• On the outside, these behaviors may look like dedication. On the inside, they can create shame, burnout, and a sense of never being enough.

How Perfectionism Fuels Anxiety and Eating Disorders

Perfectionism doesn’t just impact missionary work, but it can spill into other areas of life, including mental and physical health. Missionaries who are already vulnerable may start to tie their worth to how perfectly they follow the rules, how much weight they gain or lose, or how “in control” they appear.

• Anxiety: Perfectionism feeds racing thoughts, constant self-criticism, and fear of failure. Missionaries may lie awake at night thinking about what they could have done better or worrying that they didn’t do enough.

• Eating disorders: The same drive for control and “perfect” performance can shift toward food and body image. Restricting food, over-exercising, or obsessing about weight can feel like a way to regain control or prove worthiness.

What starts as wanting to do a good job can turn into patterns that are harmful and exhausting.

Healthy vs. Harmful Motivation

Not all motivation is bad. Many missionaries want to serve well because they love God and the people they meet. That’s healthy. Healthy motivation is grounded in love, balance, and the understanding that mistakes are part of growth.

Harmful motivation, on the other hand, is rooted in fear and shame. It pushes missionaries to believe their worth depends on being flawless, which is unhelpful and unrealistic,  and that any slip means they’ve failed spiritually.

One helpful way to see the difference is to ask: “Am I acting from my values or from fear?”

• Healthy motivation comes from values such as compassion, service, or faith. It’s about choosing behaviors that align with what matters most, even when things aren’t perfect. This type of motivation feels more encouraging and sustainable.

• Toxic perfectionism is driven by fear, shame, or comparison. It feels heavy, exhausting, and never enough.

When missionaries learn to focus on living by their values instead of chasing perfection, they often find more peace, resilience, and purpose in their service.

How Families and Leaders Can Support Missionaries

What to Say (and What Not to Say) About Food, Weight, and Success

Words carry weight, especially for missionaries who are already under a lot of pressure. Even lighthearted jokes about gaining weight during service or “eating too much” can stick and cause shame.

It’s not just about avoiding comments on a missionary’s body. Families and leaders should also avoid commenting on other people’s bodies or even their own (saying things like “I feel so fat” or “I need to lose weight”). Missionaries (and all of us)  take these messages in, and it can reinforce the idea that worth is tied to appearance.

It also helps to avoid labeling foods as “good” or “bad,” or calling certain meals “healthy” and others “unhealthy.” These labels create guilt and confusion. Food is simply food, some foods give more quick energy, others give more lasting energy, and all have a place in nourishing a body.

Instead, encourage a more balanced approach. Missionaries benefit from learning to listen to their bodies and noticing when they are hungry, when they are satisfied, and what foods help them feel their best. This is sometimes called intuitive eating, and it focuses on trusting internal signals rather than rigid rules.

Families and leaders can support this by:

• Talking about meals as fuel and enjoyment, not morality.

• Reminding missionaries that it’s okay to eat when hungry and stop when full.

• Celebrating food as part of culture, connection, and care and not a test of self-control.

By focusing on encouragement that has nothing to do with appearance or food rules, families and leaders create safety and support. Say things like:

• “I’m proud of your effort and heart.”

• “It sounds like you’re working really hard to connect with people.”

• “I love hearing how you’re growing as a person.”

Helping a Missionary Seek therapy

If you’re worried that a missionary may be struggling with anxiety, depression, or an eating disorder, the most important thing you can do is approach it with love and openness. Don’t accuse or demand. Instead, ask gentle questions like:

• “How are you really doing with your health?”

• “Have you felt extra stress or pressure around food or your body?”

• “Would you feel okay if we helped you find someone to talk to about this?”

Missionaries may feel scared to admit they’re struggling because they don’t want to be seen as “unworthy.” For many, there’s also a deep fear that if they speak up, they’ll be sent home. That fear can keep them silent, even when they’re suffering.

This is why it’s so important to respond with compassion and reassurance. Remind them that it is ok to need support. It means they are brave enough to take care of their health, spiritually, emotionally, and physically.

It’s true that many missionaries won’t have access to an eating disorder specialist while they’re serving. Families and leaders can still listen carefully, validate their feelings, and encourage honesty. If possible, local medical care may be arranged, or missionaries may be referred to LDS Family Services or another therapist in their area. It may be true that, eating disorder recovery may require pausing missionary service or even returning home for specialized treatment. That decision is not a weakness and is a courageous step toward long-term healing and well-being.

Breaking the Stigma Around Missionary Mental Health

Mental health challenges such as depression, anxiety, and eating disorders do not mean a missionary is weak, broken, or lacking faith. It doesn’t mean they aren’t accessing the atonement or do not have enough faith to be healed.  Still, many missionaries and sometimes even families or leaders carry the belief that struggling makes them “less spiritual” or unfit to serve. This belief creates silence, shame, and unnecessary suffering. Family members and leaders may unknowingly encourage missionaries to lean further into prayer, scripture study, and faith as a means of coping with mental health conditions.  Emotional and mental struggles require the support of a trained professional, not by trying harder. 

Leaders and parents can shift this narrative by:

• Talking about mental health as something that naturally comes up in the intensity of missionary life.

• Reassuring missionaries that getting therapy never cancels out their calling or their worth.

• Sharing stories of faithful people, past and present, who also wrestled with emotional or mental struggles and received counseling.

When missionaries hear that their struggles do not erase their faithfulness or devotion, they feel safer reaching out for support, and they are far more likely to get the help they need.

Supporting Missionaries Who Return Home Early 

Returning home early for mental or physical health can feel like the hardest part of a missionary’s life. Many missionaries carry guilt or shame, worrying that they “failed” or disappointed others. On top of that, they often fear how people will interpret their return. In LDS culture, there can be harmful speculation that someone who comes home early must have sinned or “broken rules.” That fear of judgment makes the shame even heavier.

Families and leaders play a vital role in changing that story. Here are some ways to support:

• Affirm their worth immediately. Say: “We’re so glad you’re home. Your health matters more than anything.”

• Avoid labeling it as failure. Instead of “He couldn’t finish,” say “She served faithfully until it was time to come home.”

• Do not speculate about why someone returned. Family members, leaders, and ward members should never guess, assume, or spread stories about why a missionary is home early. Even well-meaning speculation adds to stigma and shame.

• Challenge harmful assumptions. If you hear others gossip or make comments, gently correct them and redirect the conversation toward compassion.

• Encourage continued growth. Help them find therapy, education, or meaningful service at home to show their life and faith still have direction.

Returning early changes the timeline, not the impact of their sacrifice. With support, compassion, and therapy, returning early can mark the beginning of healing and is not the result of not being good enough.

Healing, Hope, and Recovery After a Mission

What Recovery Can Look Like for Missionaries

Every missionary’s journey is different, but eating disorder recovery and stabilizing mental health is possible. For some, it may mean learning new ways to manage stress or anxiety. For others, it may mean untangling perfectionism or healing their relationship with food and body image. Healing is rarely quick or simple, but with the right support, missionaries can and do build healthy, meaningful lives after service.

The Role of Therapy and Professional Help

Therapy gives missionaries a safe space to process what they’ve been through. A trained therapist can help them address anxiety, depression, or eating disorders with evidence-based tools. Medical care, nutritional support, and counseling often work together to strengthen both body and mind. For missionaries returning home, connecting with an eating disorder therapist or another qualified provider can be life-changing.

Gospel Principles and Mental Health Support

Spirituality can be an important part of healing. Gospel principles such as grace, compassion, and agency remind missionaries that their worth is not tied to flawless performance. Faith and professional help are not in competition, but they work together. Seeking treatment is not a lack of belief; it’s using the resources God has provided to support healing.

Final Thoughts

Missionary service is demanding, and it can bring out both the strengths and the struggles of young people who are still learning how to care for themselves. Anxiety, eating disorders, and perfectionism do not erase a missionary’s faith or devotion, but they are signs that the load has become too heavy to carry alone.

Missionaries deserve to serve with dignity and worth, no matter what challenges they face. Families and leaders can make a powerful difference by offering compassion, avoiding harmful comments, and encouraging honest conversations. When therapy is needed, it can help change negative beliefs and heavy emotions.

The more we talk openly about mental health in missionary life, the more we break down stigma and create a culture of support. Healing is possible. Hope is real. With love, faith, and the right resources, missionaries can move forward not only as servants of God but as whole, thriving people

Eating disorder therapy in Utah can help

Missionaries and their families don’t have to face these struggles alone. As a licensed therapist specializing in eating disorders, I offer compassionate therapy to help those build a healthier relationship with food and their body. Whether you’re a returned missionary, preparing to serve, or navigating life after a mission, therapy provides tools for healing and lasting eating disorder recovery. If you or someone you love is struggling, know that support is available here in Utah.

Work with an Eating Disorder Therapist in Utah

Your healing matters, and help is here. As a licensed therapist specializing in eating disorder therapy in Utah, I’m here to support missionaries, returned missionaries, and their families with compassion and understanding. If healing feels impossible right now, this Utah Eating Disorder Clinic can help, so you don’t have to navigate this alone. To start therapy, follow the steps below:

1. Schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation

2. Meet with a therapist for eating disorders

3. Start healing.

Online Therapy in Utah

Getting help should be simple and accessible. That’s why I offer online therapy in Utah for eating disorders across the entire state of Utah. Online sessions make it easier to fit therapy into your schedule while still receiving compassionate, expert care. No matter where you are in Utah, healing is possible, and I’m here to help you start.

Whether you live in Salt Lake City, Provo, St. George, Cedar City, Logan, Heber City, or anywhere in between, you can get the specialized support you need without leaving home.

About the Author

Ashlee Hunt, LCSW, is a licensed clinical social worker and the owner of Maple Canyon Therapy in Utah, where she specializes in eating disorder therapy for women in Utah. With over a decade of experience treating eating disorders at every level of care — inpatient, residential, outpatient, and private practice, Ashlee brings both clinical expertise and deep compassion to her work.

She has worked closely with missionaries, pre-missionaries, and returned missionaries, giving her unique insight into the challenges young people face when faith, mental health, and cultural expectations intersect. In addition to her clinical work, Ashlee has taught at the university level, helping future social workers build a foundation in empowerment, multicultural competence, and trauma-informed care.

Through her blog, she writes about eating disorders, anxiety, and body image issues with the hope of breaking stigma and offering guidance to families and leaders who want to support missionaries in healthier ways.