'Tis the Season of Giving Less: Signs You're Giving Too Much

While it is the season where we are focused more on giving, the concept of giving less to others is always relevant.

Overcommitting and serving others is something the people I work with struggle with all year long. It just so happens that this time of year, which is known as “the season of giving” so it’s extra hot right now. It may be the time of year where you give extra even though you really didn’t have much more to give.

You might be a giver all year long. Maybe you read that and don’t think it’s true because you could always be giving and doing more for other people. Can we be real with each other right now though? Sometimes all the giving, serving, and loving you do is at your own expense. If we want to be even more honest with each other maybe it’s happening a lot of times. I know you care about people and love to take care of others. Like all of us humans though, sometimes you don’t want to give to others but do so out of obligation, guilt, or fear of being a bad person.

There are negative consequences to giving too much to others.

By giving too much you become burned out and resentful. It might surprise you to know this is actually a normal and healthy reaction. You are meant to feel those emotions when you’ve given too much or you’ve been taken advantage of. Emotions are messages that communicate important things to us. You might feel angry when you are asked to do one more thing because you’re exhausted and haven’t had time to even catch your breath. Anger isn’t your enemy like you think it is but is actually designed to help you set boundaries and to say no so you can get back to doing what you love and care about.

If you aren’t angry, maybe your body is giving you other signs to slow and to be giving less to others.

Signs you need to be giving and doing less:

1. You’re feeling more tired than usual.

   If you find yourself feeling exhausted and don’t have the energy you are used to having, maybe it’s a sign you’re doing too much. Our bodies give us messages that it’s time to slow down by letting us know it’s giving too much. This is not a weakness of your body but is actually a sign your body is functioning and doing too much.

2. You feel irritable and angry about what is required of you.

   Let me reiterate again, it’s normal to feel angry and upset when there is either more asked of us, or we feel obligated to do more. These emotions let us know if someone has crossed our boundaries if we feel taken advantage o, and to do something about it. Yes decreasing and regulating these emotions are important for our relationships and well-being AND also looking at them as helpful and a message to us is equally as important.

3. You’re more prone to illness than before.

   If you’re noticing your body is getting easily and more often, it might mean you’re exerting too much of yourself. This is another sign from your body to do something differently. While maybe you aren’t doing anything physically taxing, it doens’t seem to matter to our bodies because the emotional toll is equally as exhausting.

4. You’re having trouble sleeping.

   Sleep really suffers when we are feeling overwhelmed or we have a lot on our plate. You may be having stressful sleep and vivid dreams or trouble falling or staying asleep altogether. This is problematic because our bodies require sleep in order to function but sleep is also significant to our mental health.

When we are feeling burned out and resentful, it probably means it’s high time to set some boundaries baby!

Boundaries are critical to keeping our mental health intact. Boundaries aren’t about keeping others out but rather keeping what we value and care about safe. We all need boundaries, and our relationships require boundaries to be healthy.

Ways to set boundaries:

1. Just say no

   You learned it in elementary school in your DARE program, and you learn it again now as an adult: just say no. You don’t need to offer explanations or justifications for your answer. You can politely just say no.

2. Turn down service opportunities

   Contrary to what you may be telling yourself, you aren’t a bad person if you turn down a service opportunity. It’s not your job to take care of everyone and everything. I know your value to take care of other people runs strong and equally as important is for you to take care of yourself.

3. Don’t attend every activity you’re invited to

   You may be invited to do and participate in a lot of different activities but you don’t need to say yes to all of them. Quality over quantity is what’s important. You don’t have to show up to family dinner every week. You don’t have to go to every game night or every sporting event. It doesn’t make you a bad person if don’t do it all. Choose what is most important to you and focus on this.

Remember your emotions are messages, not your enemies

The goal is not to change your feelings but to listen to them and act upon what they’re saying to you. If you’re going to end up resentful, do not give up. Consider before you commit to something, is it going to make you resentful? If the answer is yes, don’t do it. The goal is to show up for the people you love and care about in a genuine and authentic way. Giving isn’t always about having a “grin and bear it” attitude. I know relationships mean a lot to you, and you are great at them but don’t let it be at your own expense.

I’m going to say what I said before but in bold so you can have this message reiterated to you….

It doesn’t make you a bad person to say no

I understand if that goes against everything you’ve believed about yourself and being selfless. I think it can be easy to forget that you and your needs matter just as much as everyone else’s.

Quality over quantity is important when we have this value of giving. Take care of yourself and MAYBE practice letting other people take care of you. You’re doing the best you can and just as you like to give to other people, try giving back to yourself.

Working with an anxiety therapist can help.

If this all feels out of reach and difficult to do on your own, that’s ok! Therapy can help. There are probably reasons why this is difficult for you, and maybe you don’t even know what those are. The focus of therapy is to help dig into these emotions of guilt and anger and to get you feeling better about yourself. Whether you are struggling with anxiety, body image, trauma, or disordered eating, I would love to help. Therapy is meant to be a place to help you share what you are feeling and sort it all out.

Begin therapy for high-functioning anxiety in Utah

if you find yourself giving too much and being afraid to take a step back. You might have symptoms of high-functioning anxiety. This Northern Utah Counseling Practice has an anxiety therapist specializing in high-functioning anxiety. To begin counseling, follow the steps below:

1. Schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation

2. Meet with a therapist for anxiety

3. Begin finding freedom from fear

Online anxiety therapy in Utah

In an effort to make going to therapy more accessible to you, I provide online therapy in Utah. Online therapy is safe, convenient, and just as effective as in-person therapy.

Online Counseling also means that I can work with you wherever you are in Utah. I work with clients in Cedar City, St. George, Logan, Salt Lake City, Heber, and more.

Other mental health services provided by Maple Canyon Therapy

Anxiety therapy isn’t the only counseling service this Utah County Counseling Practice offers. Other mental health services provided by Maple Canyon therapy include body image therapy, eating disorder therapy, trauma therapy, birth trauma, and binge eating disorder treatment.

What You Think You Know About Eating Disorders is Probably Wrong

I remember in a 9th-grade health class learning about eating disorders. I gave a presentation on bulimia that year also.  Maybe you can tell by now that my interest in eating disorders has existed for a long time. What I learned in health class that year left out a large population of people struggling with eating disorders, and when I think about it now it honestly crushes me. 

Eating disorders don’t just impact young, white women

If I could sum up what I was taught that year in two sentences it’s this: White women from teens to college-aged,  struggle with either starving themselves or throwing up after they eat. If you have anorexia, you will be severely underweight. 

Wrong. 

It devastates me to think of how many people in that class themselves or someone they loved didn’t feel included because it did not describe their symptoms. 

I cannot even begin to tell you how many people that definition excludes. 

Eating disorders exist in every age, gender, and race.

Yes women struggle with eating disorders and this is who I work with but men also experience eating disorders. Eating disorders aren’t just for white women. They are found among different races and ethnicities with both people that are quite young, and some that are older. Eating disorders don’t discriminate.

You cannot tell someone has an eating disorder based on what they look like

We have been led to believe that in order to have an eating disorder you are drastically underweight and lose your period. Here’s the truth, less than 6 percent of people with eating disorders are underweight. This means that 94 percent of people with eating disorders are in the “normal” weight range or “above normal”. The women I work with that have eating disorders or disordered eating, aren’t underweight most of the time. The majority of the time! I have said it here before and I will say it again… People of any and all weights can have an eating disorder, and it can be deadly without it looking like it is.

Weight COULD BE an indicator of an eating disorder but it’s not the most important one.

It’s one of many. It’s the behaviors that matter. It’s the emotional and mental struggle that matters. It’s the rigidity, the need for control, the hurt and pain. That’s what matters. 

I don’t want you to even hesitate to reach out for help because of what you think you look like or what you think you’re supposed to weigh to get help. I pinky promise you that I don’t care what you weigh nor am I even using weight to decide if you have disordered eating.

People with binge eating disorder may not believe their eating disorder is as valid as others.

Many of the women I work with struggle with binge eating, and they are suffocating in shame. To them, they didn’t get the “good eating disorder,” and what they don’t realize is that binge eating occurs as a result of restriction. It has nothing to do with self-control but because it’s your brain's natural response to being deprived of food for so long. Your eating disorder deserves treatment and helps like any other eating disorder. 

Eating disorder therapy in Utah can help

I imagine thinking about how to overcome your eating disorder on your own feels overwhelming. It’s difficult to try and do this alone, and you don’t have to. You truly deserve to be at peace with food and your body. You don’t have to keep feeling guilty about eating, and you don’t have to keep trying to shrink your body. Eating disorder therapy can help you make peace with food and your body. It doesn’t matter how bad you think your eating disorder is or isn’t, counseling can help you stop the cycle that you’re in. It’s hard to imagine life without your eating disorder, but I promise you can be happier than you’ve ever been without it.

Begin working with an eating disorder therapist in Utah

You can let your eating disorder go, but I know it’s hard to do it alone. This Utah County Counseling Clinic has an eating disorder therapist who specializes in treating eating disorders. To begin therapy, follow the steps below:

1. Schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation

2. Meet with a caring therapist

3. Begin eating disorder recovery

Online Eating Disorder Therapy in Utah

I know how important it is to have access to an eating disorder therapist who specializes in eating disorders and knows how to help you through eating disorder recovery. I realize Utah has many parts of the state without an eating disorder therapist, and this is why I offer eating disorder therapy through online therapy in Utah.

Online counseling means that no matter where you are in Utah, I can help you. This means if you are located in Heber, Logan, Salt Lake City, St. George, Cedar City, and more, we can work together.

Other mental health services provided by Maple C/anyon Therapy

Eating disorder therapy isn’t the only mental health service provided by this Provo Utah Area Counseling Center. Other mental health services provided by Maple Canyon Therapy include binge eating disorder treatment, anxiety therapy, body image therapy, birth trauma, and EMDR therapy in Utah.

About the Author

Ashlee Hunt is a licensed clinical social worker in the state of Utah and owner of Maple Canyon Therapy outside of Provo, Utah. Ashlee graduated from Southern Utah University with a bachelor’s in psychology and a bachelor’s in family life and human development. Her master’s degree is in social work from Utah State University. Ashlee has worked at an eating disorder treatment center in all levels of care but has enjoyed working in outpatient most. She enjoys helping women get the life they deserve and break free from their eating disorders. Outside of therapy, Ashlee enjoys exploring Utah and has enjoyed Tibble Creek up American Fork Canyon.

What I Wish You Knew About Yourself, Therapy and Me

There’s so much I wish you knew. I wish you knew things about yourself, about therapy, and about me. Should I give it a shot at telling you? I’m gonna pretend you answered with a yes. Shall we begin? I’m also imagining you said yes here too.

What I wish you knew about yourself

I wish you knew that just because you are struggling, there isn’t something wrong with you. I wish you knew that you are capable and resilient despite how you feel right now, in this moment. You have accomplished challenging things in your life, and you have the ability now to do it all over again. I wish you knew that needing help doesn’t mean you are weak. I think it’s just the opposite. You want to improve yourself to show up a little better for the people you love. It takes a great deal of strength to be vulnerable and to share your struggles with someone. I wish you knew it was ok to cry and you don’t have to apologize for it. You are a human, and you are paying attention to your emotions. It’s ok for you to feel hurt and afraid AND to manifest it through tears. I wish you knew that you’re good enough already. You don’t have to be a certain jean size to be enough. You try so hard to be good, to be kind, and to be compassionate. It makes a difference in the lives of people you love, and I wish you would offer that same kindness and compassion to yourself.

What I wish you knew about therapy

On therapy? I wish you knew that therapy doesn’t mean you are crazy. It doesn’t mean anyone that goes to therapy is crazy for that matter. I definitely wish you knew that I have never seen an accurate depiction of therapy portrayed on TV. I’m looking at you Ted Lasso (I do love this show. I wish therapy was portrayed differently). Therapy is sometimes hard and vulnerable. Sometimes you feel like you’ve been sandpapered all over. Sometimes you feel exhausted because you are emotionally hungover. Sometimes it’s comforting and healing. Sometimes you feel worse before you feel better, and that is completely normal. Sometimes it’s awkward and weird because you have never verbalized some of these things out loud. In therapy, sometimes you’re going to get stuck and other times you are going to be more liberated and free than you ever have been in your entire life. Therapy takes work and patience and the greatest change you will see will be the things you do in all the hours BETWEEN session more so than that hour a week. Lastly, therapy isn’t often a quick process so be kind to yourself while you are trying to change your life..

What I wish you knew about me as a therapist

I know you are inclined to be caring and kind but this is the one relationship where you absolutely don’t have to take care of me. I assure you I will be taken care of but it’s not up to you to do it. I want you to make it completely about you and your needs. I also wish you knew there’s nothing you're going to say that will freak me out. You are not weird or crazy for feeling or thinking about the things you do. I want you to know I can handle your tears, your emotions, and hearing the horrible experiences you have been through. I want you to know I’m not going to blame your parents for your issues nor am I judging anyone in your life that may have hurt you but you still care so much about it. I want you to know I care about you and your values, and I will not impose my values or experiences on you. The last thing you should know is I am not much of a self-discloser, not only as a therapist or a person. I find that sharing things about my life or experiences distracts from you and your experiences, which is the most important reason why you are coming to therapy. I will self-disclose my reactions or feelings when it is helpful to you.

There you have it. A bundle of things I wish you knew about you, me, and therapy. I am sure there will be more to come.

Looking for an anxiety therapist in Utah?

If you are struggling with symptoms of anxiety, you don’t have to live that way forever. Anxiety treatment can help. This Northern Utah Counseling Clinic has an anxiety therapist specializing in anxiety therapy. To begin counseling, follow the steps below

1. Schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation

2. Meet with a therapist for anxiety

3. Begin finding relief

Online anxiety therapy in Utah

It’s not always convenient to seek out therapy with a busy schedule. I also know the value of therapy and want you to have the opportunity to heal. This is why I offer online therapy in Utah. This makes it so therapy more convenient without the travel. Online counseling is just as effective as in-person therapy.

Online therapy allows me to work with you wherever you are in the state of Utah. I work with clients in Heber, Logan, St. George, Cedar City, Salt Lake City, and more.

Other mental health services provided by Maple Canyon Therapy

Anxiety therapy isn’t the only counseling service offered at this Provo Utah Area Counseling Center. Other mental health services provided by Maple Canyon Therapy include binge eating disorder treatment, eating disorder therapy, body image therapy, birth trauma, and EMDR therapy in Utah.

Are You LDS? The most common question I get as a Utah Therapist

There’s been something on my mind that feels worth sharing with you. I wanted to address something that comes up here in Utah for probably many therapists. It’s the role of religion in therapy. Maybe one of the most common questions I get in phone consultations is: “Are you LDS?” and if it doesn’t happen in the phone consultation, it will come up at some point in session. I want to give you my thoughts on that question.

A good therapist doesn’t impose their values on their client

The first time it happened it took me off guard. Everything I had learned in graduate school taught me that good therapist does not let their own values conflict with the work they do in therapy with their clients. What do my spiritual or religious beliefs have to do with my work as a therapist? I had also learned that religion and spirituality are only a focus when the client brings it up as a topic or goal.

I realized that is not the experience for everyone.

Before I continue further, I want to make sure you know that I truly believe everyone is doing the best they can. We

can’t fully know what’s going on for someone or their intentions behind doing the things they do or say. It’s also true that despite people coming from a place of good intentions, people still get hurt by good intentions.

When clients don’t want an LDS therapist

The clients that don’t want an LDS therapist, have shared with me that working with an LDS therapist in the past, religion became too strong of a theme in therapy. They didn’t feel comfortable with this direction. They didn’t feel safe exploring or sharing things that may conflict with LDS values. They may have left feeling even greater shame because themes of faith, prayer, and scripture study brought more internal conflict These clients don’t want to repeat this experience. They don’t want a therapist that they feel is going to impose their values and beliefs. They also don’t want to have therapy to be one more place where they feel they don’t belong. Who can blame them? These people may have also had a negative experiences with church leaders and even by God. Therapy is meant to feel safe and directed entirely at what the client wants to focus on.

When clients want an LDS therapist

The clients I have worked with that really want an LDS therapist really want to feel understood. They want to feel that the therapist understands and has references for all the LDS lingo. I have found these clients don’t want to come to a therapist that is going to try and talk them out of their religious beliefs. These beliefs are so personal and valuable to them. They want to come to therapy to work on improving to become a better person, to have better relationships, and not to have someone speak negatively about their religion. This is incredibly valid. Therapy is already a risk to be vulnerable, and they are searching for a place where they don’t have to worry about being questioned for what they believe.

You are safe with me regardless of your spiritual beliefs

Rather than answering the question of what my spiritual or religious beliefs are or will be, I want you to know you’re safe with me. You will not find me ever imposing these sorts of values on you. I do my own work to keep myself in check to make sure my experiences do not contaminate your therapy experience.

If you want to talk about your beliefs and religious values, I absolutely want you to talk about them. I want you to feel secure in knowing what you believe isn’t going to be mocked by me. I want you to find a way to live your values more fully and effectively.

If you want to talk about the hurt you feel from religion and God, I hope you’ll talk about it. This is important in your healing. I don’t want you ever to have these experiences invalidated or for you to walk away with more shame. You feeling better is my ultimate goal.

I would encourage you to take this opportunity to challenge yourself on what you specifically need from a therapist regarding spirituality and what you don’t need. Those are essential in determining if it’s a good fit for therapy.

Start working with a Utah Therapist

Living in Utah brings about some amazing opportunities but also some unique challenges. This Northern Utah Counseling Practice has a caring therapist that gets it and can provide you with a safe place to sort it all out. To begin therapy, follow the steps below:

1. Schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation

2. Meet with a mental health professional

3. Begin working on your goals

Online Therapy in Utah

I know it’s not always convenient or in your schedule to meet with a therapist and travel to see one. I know therapy is worth it, and I want to make it accessible for you. This is why I provide Online Therapy in Utah.

This means I am able to provide therapy for you anywhere in Utah. I work with clients in St. George, Cedar City, Logan, Heber, Salt Lake City, and more.

Mental Health Services provided by Maple Canyon Therapy

My Utah County Counseling Center offers several different mental health services. Mental health services offered by Maple Canyon Therapy include binge eating disorder treatment, anxiety therapy, eating disorder therapy, birth trauma, body image therapy, and EMDR therapy in Utah.

As Your Therapist, I've Been Where You've Been

I shared this photo on my Instagram account and I wanted to share it here with you. This is a photo of my coworkers and me. They’re completely irrelevant to the story :).

Even as a therapist, I’ve also struggled with my mental health

I want you to know I’ve been where you’ve been. This photo was taken at a time where I had just experienced a devastating blow, and I was not doing good. I still feel it when I look at this. I find that it doesn’t really matter the specifics of what I went through, of what you’re going through, or what anyone else is going through because it’s the shared emotional experience that matters. Our challenges are unique and yet we still each have felt sadness, fear, and anger.

Even when you are trying your best, your mental health can be hard to manage

Despite this painful experience, I was managing it in pretty healthy ways. I had supportive family & friends that knew what I was going through. I was loved & cared about and I was still feeling horrible. I was going to therapy, using healthy coping skills, and the supportive people in my life and it still was excruciatingly painful. I was trying my hardest to manage but that didn’t take away the experience from happening. All of those feelings are normal for all of us to feel.

A woman lying on the couch looking at an Ipad. This represents how Maple Canyon therapy provide online therapy in Utah for the following services: anxiety therapy, high-functioning anxiety, postpartum anxiety, and social anxiety. Start therapy for anxiety in Utah. 84332 | 84323 | 84765

You will feel good again

The other night I was riding my bike through the neighborhood, I looked up at the cotton candy sky, feeling the cool breeze hit my face, and smelling the hint of a barbecue in the air, I started to tear up because I realized I felt well again & I have for a long while. Things don’t feel as grey & cold as they did in that photo. I never thought that day would come. When I think of that experience, it still feels awful but it doesn’t consume me as it did.

If you’re struggling that doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong

I want you to know that even if you’re doing it all in the best way you can: going to therapy, doing the work, and using your support people and you still feel like garbage, there’s nothing wrong with you. You’re a human, and that’s beautiful. If you’re using self-destructive behaviors and not coping in healthy ways that’s ok, I’ve also been there. You’re ok too. Trust that you’re doing the best you can at this moment. You’ll feel the breeze again on your cheeks and appreciate the beauty of life again.

Don’t give up hope

I assure you this will not always be the space you’re in. The sadness dissipates, and you’ll feel the warmth again. Wherever you’re at in your struggle, it will pass. Please know that the goodness of life still awaits. There are more people to love, dreams to chase, and happiness to be had repeatedly. Your life has meaning and will continue to have meaning. You matter. Don’t give up.

EMDR therapy can help

I know what your going through has to feel like a lot to manage on your own. I know you’re used to being the support of other people in your life, and it’s hard to let your guard down. On the outside, nobody would guess you are struggling, but I want you to know it’s ok to let people help you. I want to be able to support you and help you feel better. EMDR Therapy is a type of trauma therapy that can help you work through negative past experiences and help change the negative beliefs you have about yourself. I can attest with my own EMDR therapy experience that it makes a difference in your ability to find relief from sadness, anger, fear, anxiety, shame, and more.

Begin working with an EMDR therapist in Utah

You don’t have to live weighed down by your experiences. You can feel ok again. This Northern Utah Counseling Practice has an EMDR therapist specializing in trauma therapy. To begin counseling, follow the steps below:

1. Schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation

2. Meet with a trauma therapist

3. Start healing from your past

Online Therapy in Utah

I provide online therapy in Utah to those throughout Utah so that you can conveniently access a therapist. It’s not always easy to take time out of your schedule or to have to travel to meet with a therapist. In this day and age, it’s not even necessary because it’s just as effective as in-person therapy

I work with people in Logan, Cedar City, Heber, Salt Lake City, St. George and more through online counseling.

Other mental health services provided by Maple Canyon Therapy

EMDR therapy isn’t the only mental health service provided at this Utah County Counseling Center. Other mental health services provided by Maple Canyon Therapy include eating disorder therapy, binge eating disorder treatment, body image therapy, anxiety therapy, and birth trauma.

It's Ok to Be Wrong

My brain is full of things that I’m not sure I can make a clear thought on. I’m just going for it because doing it and showing up is better than it being perfect. I’ve been listening to the book “Think Again” by Adam Grant, and I’ve been really enjoying the concepts in it. One of them is our ability to be wrong and rethink what our opinion is based on the information we are given.

It’s hard for me as a therapist to be wrong

One thing that is hard for me in my role as a therapist, is the being wrong part. Not because I don’t want to be wrong in something I say or do with a client BUT because I don’t want to hurt these precious and wonderful and inspiring people. I learned from the beginning as a graduate student first beginning therapy practice to admit when you’re wrong with a client. Admit when something isn’t communicated well or I didn’t respond effectively. I learned to be quick to do this. It’s still uncomfortable but it really does matter. It matters that a therapist takes responsibility and apologizes. This may be the only relationship that a client has where someone is willing to admit when they’re wrong. That’s how healthy relationships are supposed to go. We admit when we are wrong and make amends for it.

Admitting and apologizing for mistakes is important in relationships

I did this just yesterday in therapy. I didn’t effectively communicate what I was trying to say to my client at the end of a session and readdressed when I saw them again. It sucked AND I’m glad I did it. Here’s to the reminder that we are all human. Not to use that as an excuse but as an understanding that we are all trying and hopefully willing and committed to keeping being better for our relationships.

Reasons why it’s good to admit you’re wrong

The women I work with struggle with feeling guilty when they aren’t perfect especially in their relationships. It’s difficult to see the benefits of admitting when you’re wrong but let me assure you there are benefits.

1. Admitting you’re wrong can improve the relationship

   When you admit that you are wrong, this can be healing to the other person. It’s not about being perfect now or ever. It’s about acknowledging our mistakes and working a little harder to be better.

2. Admitting when you’re wrong shows you care about the other person

   My clients are the best caregivers. They want nothing more than to take care of the people they love. Admitting your mistakes and when you didn’t get something quite right, shows the other person you care enough about them and the relationship to share this.

3. Admitting you’re wrong builds trust

   You can feel more trustworthy to the other people in your life when you show you are willing to take accountability for your actions and admit when you’ve made a mistake. It’s hard to build trust with someone that can’t admit when they’re wrong because we all make mistakes as humans.

4. Admitting you’re wrong shows you are willing to challenge your thinking and actions

   Thinking and acting the same doesn’t show we are open to personal growth. When we admit to being wrong, it shows we are invested in growing through using a different pattern of thoughts and behaviors that align with our values.

Hopefully, you can embrace the fact that you’re human and it’s ok to make mistakes, and there can be some important benefits to admitting when you’re wrong.

Start anxiety therapy in Utah

You don’t have to live in fear of making a mistake or fear of failure. Anxiety therapy can help you manage your fears. This Utah County Counseling Clinic has an anxiety therapist specializing in high-functioning anxiety treatment. To begin counseling, follow the steps below:

1. Schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation

2. Meet with a therapist for anxiety

3. Find relief from fear

Online Therapy in Utah

It’s not always convenient to travel to see a therapist and make time for an appointment. I know struggling with mental health isn’t easy, and trying to manage treatment can prove to be challenging. I know that therapy is an investment in yourself, and I know it’s worth it. I also want to make it easier for you to manage your schedule, which is why I offer online therapy in Utah. It’s secure, convenient, and just as effective as in-person.

Using telehealth also allows me to work with you if you are in St. George, Logan, Salt Lake City, Heber, Cedar City, and more.

Other mental health services provided by Maple Canyon Therapy

Anxiety therapy isn’t the only counseling service offered at this Northern Utah Counseling Practice. Other mental health services offered by Maple Canyon therapy include body image therapy, EMDR therapy, birth trauma, eating disorder therapy, and binge eating disorder treatment.

You Might Never Be Fully Ready: Why Try Therapy Anyway

The type of client that I work with are masters at avoiding. I say that with so much compassion because there is a reason why they avoid. They run on high anxiety and in order to function it sometimes feels like they have to avoid things that may trigger even greater unpleasant emotions. From a therapists perspective anxiety is often a symptom but it’s usually what people come to therapy to improve. We do some exploring and unpacking and sorting in the therapy room, and we uncover some things that need healing. It might be something in your past that happened that you’re still holding onto or a belief about yourself and the world that is unhelpful.

It’s normal to feel hesitant about trauma therapy.

When we find out what that is, there’s some hesitancy in wanting to work on it. In fact, we do this dance for a while where I invite my clients to start working on it and fully experience the emotions that go along with it, and they avoid it. They find excuses and reasons why now is not the right time and why something else less painful would be a better thing to work on. I honor it and make some space for it. This is scary. It’s even terrifying to think about confronting the real stuff and feeling the intensity of it all. I want my clients to know it may hurt now. It may be uncomfortable now. It may feel unbearable now. You might cry. Honestly, I might cry too sharing that moment with you. Is it worth it to experience the heaviness and the pain to finally be done reliving it over and over again? I think it is.

You might feel anxious about therapy, and we will begin when you’re ready

You may never really be ready to sit with the full intensity of the emotions along with the experience. I am sure there are plenty of things you have experienced in your lifetime that you truly were not ready for. Something will always come up that may give a persuasive argument for why it’s still not the right time. There’s never a great time. Ever. It will always be uncomfortable and painful until you do the thing.

I want you to know that your pain and suffering matter to me. I will always give respect and gentleness to you and your experiences. I will wait with you until you are ready. I might give you a nudge every so often about revisiting the thing you’ve been hiding from but it’s always going to be about you and what you need. I am a patient person and can wait a long time but I truly do want you to experience life on the other side.

Here’s some things to remember when confronting something painful in therapy:

1. Those painful feelings are temporary.

   They will eventually pass. They won’t last forever. No emotion lasts forever. It may mean it’s uncomfortable and painful in the moment but it will definitely end.

2. Your life will significantly improve as a result of working through it.

   I have never met a person who has regretted effectively addressing painful experiences and feelings. In the midst of it, it sucks but you will see your life improve as a result of truly dealing with it. It will make a difference in areas of your life that you wouldn’t even anticipate.

3. You will feel lighter and greater relief than before.

   You probably aren’t even aware of how your emotions and experiences impact you and your life. There seems to be a level of desensitization of pain and suffering. I assure you, you will feel relieved and feel the heaviness that you didn’t know existed slide off your shoulders.

Trauma therapy in utah can help you heal

It will never feel like the best time to address some of the worst things that have ever happened to you in your life. It’s normal never to want to talk about those things let alone relive them to some degree. Trauma counseling can make it so you don’t have to put so much energy into trying not to think about what happened. Treating your trauma can be temporary pain and discomfort that can have a big impact on the rest of your life so that you don’t have to keep experiencing it every day. Working with a trauma therapist is something you won’t regret, and I encourage you to give it a try.

Begin working with a trauma therapist in Utah

Thinking about what happened to you over and over again doesn’t have to be your life. You can find relief from the trauma you’ve been through. This Utah County Counseling Center has a trauma therapist who specializes in trauma and can help you. To begin therapy follow the steps below:

1. Schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation

2. Meet with trauma therapist in Utah

3. Begin healing from your past

Online Therapy in Utah

Maybe you don’t really have a lot of time in your schedule or you find going into a therapist’s office to be absolutely terrifying and anxiety-provoking, I totally get it, and that’s ok. I also know the value of therapy and want so badly for you to have the experience of finding healing and relief from your trauma. I offer online therapy in Utah so that you can have greater accessibility to a therapist and don’t have to worry about the commute.

Because of the convenience of online counseling, it allows me to provide therapy to anyone in Utah including Heber, Salt Lake City, St. George, Cedar City, Logan, and more.

Other mental health services provided by Maple Canyon Therapy

Trauma therapy isn’t the only counseling service provided at this Northern Utah Counseling Clinic. Other mental health services provided at Maple Canyon Therapy are eating disorder therapy, anxiety therapy, body image therapy, birth trauma therapy, and binge eating disorder treatment in Utah.

Why Therapy Sucks: A Therapist's Perspective

I’ve been preparing my Ted Talk in the form of this blog post for several weeks now on why therapy sucks. I hope you’re ready for this ;)

Why therapy sucks, according to a passionate therapist

We can hold two truths in regard to therapy. Well, we can hold many truths to therapy, but here are the two I’m referring to:

1. Therapy sucks.

2. Therapy is life-changing.

Both can be true. Both can be true at the same time and at different times. If you’ve read my blog, it’s cool if you haven’t, but IF you have, maybe you know that I’m incredibly passionate about the therapeutic process. I wish all 7.9 billion people on this planet would have access to or take the opportunity to go to therapy. There’s a reason why I have dedicated my career to being a therapist BECAUSE I LOVE IT SO MUCH. I love to see my clients find relief. I love providing a space for them to feel truly seen and validated. I love providing compassion. There’s nothing in the world that I would rather do than be a therapist.

Why therapy can suck

Therapy can be really hard. It sucks to be a client. I’ve been there, and I stand in solidarity with you. It sucks to confront the pain that you’ve been avoiding. It’s vulnerable to be open about the most personal things in your head in your heart. It is hard to finally let yourself feel your emotions. I know you do a great job trying to avoid those. The harsh reality about why therapy sucks is that healing is painful. It feels unbearable sometimes. Hopefully, at the same time, you feel safe and cared for because you truly are. It’s easier to pretend things are ok for a while until it doesn’t work anymore. That’s the part of therapy that sucks.

Therapy does help you feel better

Recently, I was processing with a client about the progress they had made in one year. We reflected on who she was a year ago and who she no longer struggled with. She teared up talking about how happy she is about the life she has now and that the experiences she has been through in the past no longer impact her in such a negative way. Therapy sucks and then before you know it you’re in the middle of it all, and it feels like freedom.

You can feel free, peaceful, confident, empowered, and have clarity

I remember driving in a taxi in Cozumel, Mexico, on the way to the beach. I recall looking out the window at some places that seemed scary and felt uncomfortable. It wasn’t where I ended up, though. I was just passing through. I ended up on a sandy beach with clear blue water, which was beautiful. Just because you’re traveling through some painful feelings in therapy does not mean that is where you end up. You end up somewhere incredible after you’ve gone through it.

There is nothing more that I want for you than for you to feel more confident in yourself, find relief from anxiety, and have less stress about food and your body. Therapy can help you improve your mental health all around.

Believe in yourself. Believe in the process, and in the midst of it all, be good to yourself.

Start anxiety therapy in Utah

If you struggle with symptoms of anxiety and don’t feel like you can cope with it, anxiety therapy can help. This Northern Utah Counseling Clinic has an anxiety therapist specializing in anxiety treatment. To begin therapy, follow the steps below:

1. Schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation

2. Meet with a Utah therapist

3. Find relief from anxiety symptoms

Online Therapy in Utah

Not able to make time out of your schedule to travel to a therapy appointment? That’s ok I provide online therapy in Utah, so you can meet with an online therapist on your lunch break from the office or from the comfort of your own home. Therapy should be accessible and convenient.

I work with people online in Salt Lake City, Logan, Heber, St. George, Cedar City, and more.

Other mental health services provided in Utah County

Anxiety therapy isn’t the only counseling service provided at this Utah County Counseling Practice. Other mental health services provided by Maple Canyon Therapy, including trauma therapy, body image therapy, eating disorder therapy, birth trauma therapy, and binge eating disorder treatment in Utah.

4 Reasons Why You Should Attend Therapy Every Week

Here’s the bottom line of what I want you to know before I get started: I believe to make the most progress in healing, therapy is best attended on a weekly basis.

The therapy I do with clients is best done every week

This is something I share with my clients before we begin therapy to make sure this is in line with their hopes and expectations. Of course, I’m not everyone’s therapist obviously, and am not making specific recommendations a blanket statement for people I don’t see. However, for the type of work I do and the clients I work with I rarely recommend anything less than once a week. This is my preference and what I ask my clients to commit to here and here’s my why.

Reasons to attend therapy every week

1. Attending therapy every week allows deep work to be done.

   The more consistently you’re attending therapy, the faster you make progress. It allows you to make progress and feel greater hope about your situation. Hope is the magic elixir, and I want you to have a lot of it as much and as soon as possible.

2. You get better faster

   I have found in the past when I have worked with clients sporadically or only a few times a month, it leads to less progress. A lot less progress. Clients end up getting discouraged and stop coming to therapy altogether. The less we see of each other, the more reporting and catching up there ends up being in the time we have been apart. This is important in therapy but we also can’t jump into your reactions, emotions, or patterns when we end up spending the entire session updating on what’s happened.

3. Progress is made when we are able to consistently address your patterns and emotions

   A good balance is important and the best progress is made when we get to really look at your emotions and patterns. We need time not only to process what you are struggling with presently but to look back at past experiences that have led you to where you are now. In case you haven’t noticed, I’m a therapist that enjoys doing deep emotional work. I hope you’re ready for that :).

4. If you are doing trauma counseling or EMDR, weekly therapy truly is necessary

   Another aspect I have noticed is when I’m doing EMDR and trauma work with someone is that weekly is optimal. It’s the humane thing to do to get through it as fast as possible. In fact, when doing trauma work, doing two sessions per week is supreme but we still can work with once a week. I find that we end up spinning our wheels in trauma work when it’s only twice a month as clients end up having their emotional wounds opened and closed without the progression toward healing.

The goal of therapy is not to need it forever

It’s also natural at some point for you to taper down on therapy. When you are making progress, you may need to come less frequently. We love to see that. I want that for you, and that’s what we are working toward. However, I see it happen too soon. You having a good week or a good month is amazing and shows you are managing things better. It also isn’t always time to quit attending therapy weekly. The frequency of therapy should be intentional and hopefully not as a way of avoiding what’s uncomfortable. I recommend weekly therapy for about 9-12 months before considering tapering off weekly.

I realize therapy costs money

I also acknowledge that therapy is an investment. Financially it is challenging for some people to do. I get it, and I assure you I have been there. I have paid out of pocket for therapy for a loved one for years and know it can be a sacrifice. I’ve also seen it make a huge difference. I am not here to persuade you to spend money on therapy. If it’s something you value and want to do, It has the potential to change your life in ways you never could imagine.

I’m here to help you make progress towards all your hopes and dreams as fast as possible.

Looking to start working with an anxiety therapist in utah?

If you are struggling with an eating disorder or anxiety, you don’t have to live like that forever. This Provo Utah Area Counseling Clinic has a mental health professional that can help you. To begin therapy, follow the steps below:

1. Schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation

2. Meet with a caring therapist

3. Begin feeling better

Online therapy in Utah

Having the accessibility and convenience to meet with a therapist is important with your busy schedule. This is why I provide online therapy in Utah. Online counseling is equally as effective as in=person therapy but can be done while you’re still in sweatpants.

Online therapy allows me to work with you if you are located in Logan, Salt Lake City, Heber, St. George, Cedar City, and more.

Mental health services provided by Maple Canyon Therapy

This Northern Utah Counseling Center provides a variety of counseling services. Mental Health Services provided by Maple Canyon Therapy include anxiety therapy, eating disorder therapy, trauma therapy, binge eating disorder treatment, body image therapy, and birth trauma therapy.

Warmer Weather and Body Image Issues

When we think about winter in Utah, I think there is some mutual understanding that people’s moods can drop. The sun isn’t out, we are vitamin D deficient, the snow is difficult to drive in, and so on. We get each other for not liking Winter and for feeling a little more depressed. What may be a surprise to some is that my clients feel an onset of a new kind of emotional upheaval in the Spring and Summer. Depression and anxiety increase along with the temperatures.

Warm weather in Utah can lead to more body images issues

My clients have to wear fewer layers in the warmer months, and they hate it. Warmer months mean no layers to hide behind. It means shorts, tank tops, short sleeves, and worst of all, swimming suits. It also means seeing other people’s bodies in these types of clothes, which makes the comparison. Comparison, as we know, is a black hole where nobody wins. It’s a rough time for my lovely people.

The goal may not be to love your body but to feel neutral about it

My approach to body image in working with clients is often to refer them to resources in order to manage it better and focus more on getting to a place of body neutrality. However, I don’t like to spend sessions focusing on your thoughts about your body, but I like to go straight to the heart and go a little deeper It’s not just about you not having a thigh gap or hating your waist size. It’s that desire to hide and how you feel unacceptable to others. I think that goes a bit deeper than the number on your jeans, and we won’t get very far if we focus all of our attention on this.

The beliefs about your body are the problem, not your body

It’s the emotions and attitudes attached to how you feel about your body. It’s about those earlier experiences where you got the message that you needed to hide or change your body or else you aren’t acceptable. Somehow those have shaped your life, and now you have a rule that you can never wear shorts (insert another item of clothing), and that’s not fair. That’s what I’m here for. Not to battle you over if you can wear shorts or not but to help you heal from your unhelpful beliefs about yourself.

Body image therapy can help

You don’t have to keep living this way. You don’t have to spend your life avoiding the mirror or trying to hide your body. I don’t want you to feel ashamed of your body or force it into discomfort to change it. There are many things you might feel or think that you don’t have to keep dealing with. Body image therapy can help you learn to cope better and to address the underlying issues of why you hate your body. Surprisngly it’s not just about what you look like but what you believe about yourself that might be contributing to the problem.

Start working with a body image therapist in Utah

You can feel better about your body, but more importantly, you can feel better about what’s happened to you and who you are as a person. That truly is what counts. I know that’s hard to do on your own. I would that you’ve tried to feel better about your body on your own but haven’t been able to be successful. I want you to feel more at peace and at home in your body, and therapy can help. This Provo Utah Area Counseling Clinic has a body image therapist to help. To begin therapy, follow the steps below:

1. Schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation

2. Complete online forms and schedule the first session with a mental health expert

3. Begin getting body image help

Other mental health services provided by Maple Canyon Therapy

Body image therapy isn’t the only therapy service I provide at this Utah County Counseling Center. Other Mental Health Services provided by Maple Canyon Therapy include anxiety therapy, EMDR and Trauma therapy, binge eating disorder treatment, birth trauma therapy and eating disorder treatment.