Why Complimenting Weight Loss Can Be Harmful: Eating Disorder Therapy in Salt Lake City, Utah

“People think I look better when I’m thinner.”
I cannot tell you how many times I have heard that sentence, or some version of it, from women in therapy. The painful truth is, they’re not making it up. Many women are treated better, noticed more, and praised when they are at lower weights. Those comments don’t just disappear—they stay, and they shape how a woman sees her body and her worth.

As a therapist who provides eating disorder therapy in Salt Lake City, Utah, I see how powerful and harmful this message can be. The number on the scale may mean nothing to me, but it often holds enormous emotional weight for the women I work with because it has been tied to approval, safety, and belonging. Compliments about weight loss can reinforce the belief that being thinner means being better, more lovable, or more acceptable.

If you’ve ever felt pressure to stay small, feared gaining weight because of how others might see you, or struggled with disordered eating in the background of these messages, this is exactly what eating disorder therapy in Salt Lake City is meant to help with not just changing behaviors, but healing the deeper story about your body and your worth.

Why Complimenting Weight Loss Can Be Harmful

I am writing more about this because the women I work with deserve better, and so do you. I know most people aren’t trying to hurt people by complimenting weight loss. I think they are actually doing the opposite. They think they are being kind and praising their effort and their work. In the moment, it might feel good for people to hear but later it hurts to think about when they’ve gained the weight back or are terrified to eat more because they might gain the weight back. Most people because our bodies aren’t down with eating under what they need. 

Four Reasons Complimenting Weight Loss Can Be Harmful

1. It Reinforces the Belief That Thinner Is Better

As a society, we have been led to believe that being thin is the superior way of being. This is harmful because many people aren’t made to be thin. They have to do to great lengths that are unnatural and unhealthy to maintain a thin body. Making comments on weight loss continues to give others the message that it’s important to be thin. You also may not realize that you are giving attention to a person who has lost weight that you didn’t give before. Nobody likes that feeling. People will begin equating weight loss with attention. 

2. It Can Encourage Disordered Eating Behaviors

Remember we have no idea how a person who has lost weight has lost it. Healthy weight loss is pretty hard to come by. Pointing out weight loss as a positive thing reinforces that a person has to use disordered eating behaviors. Disordered eating behaviors take a major physical, emotional, and mental toll on people. Please don’t encourage someone to continue using these. I cannot tell you how painful it is for my clients to try and work through this. 

3. It Can Send the Message That They Weren’t “Good Enough” Before

As I have said before, complimenting weight loss reinforces that a person is more valuable when they are thinner. I have countless conversations with women who have this reaction. They tell me that people in their lives have told them how good they look after losing weight and they begin to believe that their spouse or partner likes them better the thinner they are. There are many reasons that I don’t even point out weight loss ever, and this is one of them. The people in my life have the same value to me regardless of the number on the scale, and I’m sure you feel the same. Make sure you aren’t subtly giving the message that attraction is based on weight loss or being thin.

4. You Might Be Complimenting an Illness or an Eating Disorder

We don’t know how people lost weight. People lose weight because they are very sick, and complimenting that breaks my heart. I have had several people in my life be incredibly ill, and what did people notice? The weight loss. If you don’t know, this is messed up. People can be losing weight as a result of having an eating disorder and might be working on getting enough courage to get help. They might be working on getting adequate nutrition, and making comments about their body will become a barrier. Eating disorders cause so much physical and emotional damage, and complementing their side effects is not helpful. Many people believe they are complimenting “health” when they are complimenting weight loss. Health means a lot of different things, and when someone is sick or has an eating disorder, this is obviously not healthy. 

I never mean to be harsh, and sometimes learning you’ve been doing things that aren’t helpful really sucks. We don’t always know when we are contributing to a greater problem. What we need to do at this point is to realize and challenge our own beliefs about weight and body size. That’s our stuff to work through if we continue to idealize a thinner body. 

How Eating Disorder Therapy in Salt Lake City, Utah Can Help

If you are struggling with how you feel about your body, disordered eating behaviors, or think you might have an eating disorder, therapy can help. Working through how you feel about your body image and managing your anxiety better is possible. A lot goes into eating disorder recovery, but the first step is reaching out for help. I love working with women who struggle with disordered eating and who are ready to do whatever it takes to get better

Begin Online Eating Disorder Therapy in Salt Lake City, Utah

If comments about your body or weight have left you feeling ashamed, pressured, or afraid to eat or change, you are not overreacting. Those messages can shape how you see yourself, how safe you feel in your body, and how you relate to food. You don’t have to carry that alone.

I provide eating disorder therapy in Salt Lake City, Utah, through online therapy, and I work with women who are struggling with disordered eating, body image, anxiety, and the emotional impact of living in a culture that ties worth to thinness. Therapy is a place to untangle those beliefs, heal from the harm they’ve caused, and begin building a kinder relationship with your body.

If you’re wondering whether therapy might help, a free 15-minute consultation is a gentle place to start. You can ask questions, share what you’ve been dealing with, and see if it feels like a good fit.

Why Choose Online Therapy in Utah

When you are struggling with an eating disorder, you deserve help from someone who has specialized training in eating disorder treatment. This is why I provide online therapy in Utah. This allows you to meet with an eating disorder therapist from the comfort of your home without traveling or commuting.

Online counseling also means that we can work together wherever you are in Utah. I work with clients in Logan, Salt Lake City, Provo, St. George, Cedar City, Heber, and more.

About the Author

Ashlee Hunt, LCSW, is a licensed clinical social worker and the founder of Maple Canyon Therapy, an online therapy practice serving women in Salt Lake City, Utah, and across the state via telehealth. She specializes in eating disorder therapy, body image concerns, and anxiety, and has worked with women struggling with disordered eating and negative body image since her graduate training.

Ashlee takes a trauma-informed, compassionate approach to therapy and is deeply committed to helping women heal from the messages they’ve received about their bodies, worth, and the need to be “smaller” or “better” to be accepted. Her work focuses on creating a safe, non-judgmental space where women can understand their relationship with food and their bodies, process painful experiences, and begin building self-trust and self-compassion.

At Maple Canyon Therapy, Ashlee provides online eating disorder therapy in Salt Lake City, Utah, supporting women who are ready to step out of shame, loosen the grip of comparison and control, and work toward a more peaceful relationship with themselves and their bodies