6 Signs You’re a Perfectionist and How Anxiety Therapy in Salt Lake City, Utah Can Help
Many of the women I work with don’t initially see themselves as perfectionists. They think perfectionism only counts if you’re getting straight A’s, always “on,” or visibly high-achieving. However, as we start talking, they begin to recognize it in subtle ways too, like the fear of making mistakes, the pressure to get things right, and the tendency to avoid trying if they might fail. Perfectionism can look different from person to person, but it often carries the same cost: anxiety, self-criticism, and never feeling like you’re enough.
Perfectionism is one of those things that people actually view as a good thing. People are more willing to share that they’re a perfectionist than they are to admit they are depressed. It might seem more socially acceptable to be a perfectionist, but at times, we fail to see how damaging it is. Perfectionism can be paralyzing to people, which leads to increased anxiety and depression. Many of the women I work with in anxiety therapy in Salt Lake City, Utah struggle with perfectionism that keeps them stuck in constant self-criticism and fear of making mistakes. Being high-achieving might seem like a good thing, but sometimes we don’t realize the cost and toll it takes on us.
There are many different signs of perfectionism. This is not a comprehensive list and just because you might relate to all of these doesn’t mean you aren’t a perfectionist.
Signs of Perfectionism That Often Show Up in Anxiety
You avoid things you’re not good at
If you are someone that doesn’t believe you’ll be good at something then you avoid doing it at all costs. You might avoid it because you are afraid of looking stupid or not being seen as having it all together. This trait is something that perfectionists fail to see in themselves because they think they’re actually lazy or unmotivated. The truth is they are absolutely terrified of making a mistake or people knowing they’re not good at everything.
Being average is unacceptable
I had a client tell me that thinking about being average “hurts their feelings”. They want to be good at everything. Getting anything less than an A feels like failure. They feel like they have to be above average at everything they do. Receiving any feedback or criticism feels like failure. If they don’t get a glowing evaluation at their job then they feel like a failure. It is completely unrealistic to be able to achieve high standards in all areas of life, and yet perfectionists feel they somehow have to.
Doing anything imperfectly means you’re a failure of a person
Perfectionists don’t allow themselves to be human. They may be able to accept that other people make mistakes but they don’t allow themselves to do the same. When they fail to measure up to their own standards or make mistakes they view it as a failure. They don’t see themselves as separate from this and believe they are a failure of a person. Not measuring up often is accompanied by increased anxiety and depression.
Seeing only flaws in your achievements
You might be a perfectionist if you only see the flaws in your achievements or accomplishments. Often nobody else will see these things but perfectionists see all of their mistakes People who are perfectionistic might be embarrassed or ashamed for anyone to see the things they’ve done because of this. It seems that no matter how much effort or work perfectionists put into something, it never quite measures up to the standard they have for themselves.
Never feeling good enough
Perfectionists downright never feel that what they do is good enough. They are quick to point out what they could be doing better or what they could improve. It doesn’t matter how much praise or compassion is given to them they don’t think they deserve it because they are not perfect. Perfectionism is a black hole of there never being anything that makes you feel enough.
Fear other people will see your mistakes
A perfectionist’s worst nightmare is that other people will see them as a failure. They are fearful that people will see through them and believe they are incompetent and an imposter. Perfectionists don’t want to be put in situations where they aren’t able to do things competently because they don’t want others to see them as weak. Perfectionists will avoid situations where they might feel stupid or be seen in a negative light.
Perfectionism isn’t just about seeming put together and getting good grades. It’s about struggling with self-esteem and anxiety for many. Perfectionists often engage in many of their tendencies to feel better about themselves. Perfectionistic behavior is also about trying to manage anxiety, but it pays a price on your emotional well-being.
This is something I work with every day in anxiety therapy in Salt Lake City, Utah, helping women who look high-functioning on the outside but feel constantly anxious, self-critical, and never quite at ease with themselves.
Anxiety Therapy in Salt Lake City can help with perfectionism
If you read this blog and found yourself identifying with having perfectionistic behaviors, the best thing you can do for yourself is to seek out therapy. Therapy can help you find different ways to cope with your emotions and feel better about yourself. You don’t have to feel suffocated by perfectionism. You can feel better about yourself.
Ready to Start Anxiety Therapy in Salt Lake City, Utah?
You don’t have to keep living under the constant pressure to be perfect. Anxiety therapy can help you understand where these patterns came from and learn how to relate to yourself with more compassion and less fear. If you’re looking for anxiety therapy in Salt Lake City, Utah, I work with women who feel driven, self-critical, and exhausted by the need to get everything right.
Meet with a therapist for anxiety
Find freedom from perfectionism
Online anxiety therapy in Utah
Many women I work with want support for anxiety and perfectionism, but don’t have the time or energy to commute across the city. That’s why I offer online anxiety therapy in Utah, so you can meet with a licensed therapist from the comfort of your home while still getting specialized, relational care.
Telehealth allows me to work with clients in Salt Lake City, St. George, Cedar City, Logan, Provo, Heber, and more.
Other mental health services at Maple Canyon Therapy
Anxiety therapy isn’t the only counseling service offered at Maple Canyon Therapy. Other mental health services include body image therapy, eating disorder therapy, binge eating disorder treatment, birth trauma therapy, and trauma therapy in Utah.
About the Author
Ashlee Hunt, LCSW is a licensed clinical social worker and the founder of Maple Canyon Therapy, an online therapy practice serving women across Utah, including Salt Lake City. Ashlee specializes in working with high-functioning women who struggle with anxiety, perfectionism, people-pleasing, and harsh self-criticism. Her work is relational, trauma-informed, and grounded in helping clients understand the emotional roots of their patterns rather than just trying to “fix” behaviors. She provides online anxiety therapy in Utah and helps women learn to feel safer in their bodies, more compassionate toward themselves, and less driven by fear of getting things wrong.