You wanna know a topic I like to get fired up about? The wildly inappropriate and shockingly unrealistic standards of beauty that women have to live up to. There I said it. I’m not an expert on any of the other 49 states in the Union, but I can tell you here in Utah that body image struggles are off the charts. You can drive along I-15, and bam! Plastic surgery sign. Hit up next by a botox sign and chased down with a fat sculpting sign. Big old billboards inviting women and girls to look at their bodies with a critical eye, and if you don’t like them? Good news, throw down some cash money, and you can change it! Utah has got plastic surgeons for days. It’s enticing to think that everything you hate about your body can just be sculpted, augmented, tucked, and injected away. Even when a woman doesn’t want to go to those lengths to alter her body, she can still get microbladed eyebrows, lash extensions, hair extensions and spray tan. There are so many options as a woman to manipulate your appearance to hopefully arrive upon a body that you love and respect. The harsh reality of all this is that it doesn’t work that way. Self-loathing doesn’t suddenly morph into self-love After I feel that fiery anger in my gut, it becomes washed away in sadness.
Real talk: I’m a big fan of DIY at-home lash extensions (bless up Lashify!), I love a foamy self-tan in a bottle, and you’ll see me wearing makeup 5 out of 7 days. There is nothing inherently wrong with wanting and doing any of this. Nobody is better or less than anyone else if they skip out on breast augmentation and deny botox. Trust me, there’s no Nobel prize for never highlighting your hair or altering your body. The cold hard facts, though? These don’t actually lead to lasting happiness, self-love, or a permanent positive body image. Why? Because it’s not about your body as much as you think it is.
What does it mean to have body image issues?
99 percent of women probably have struggled with negative body image at some point in their lifetime. Body image can be a pervasive and ongoing issue, yet it feels normal for women to experience it. When is it crossing the line from being the normal brand of body image issues to clinically significant body image issues? This is hard for me to answer because, to me, any body image issue is worth addressing. As with any disorder, it becomes more concerning when it impacts your daily functioning. Clinically significant body image is obsessive thoughts and behaviors around manipulating and changing your body. This leads to depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, disordered eating, and eating disorders.
What are the signs of negative body image?
Dissatisfaction with the way your body looks
Engaging in body checking behaviors
Speaking negatively about your body and appearance
Fear of gaining weight
Needing reassurance from others that appearance is acceptable
Feeling that if your body were different, you would feel happier
Poor self-esteem related to body’s appearance
Comparing your body to others’ bodies
What’s the cause of body image issues?
The cause of body image issues are complex, and it’s hard to pin down one factor or instance that led to the birth of negative body image. Several factors can lead to the perfect storm of body image issues. Here are some options.
Social media:
Swiping through hundreds of filtered and photoshopped images of women weekly is not helpful for anyone’s body image. Research suggests that the longer you view these images, the more it leads to body dissatisfaction. Research has also shared that those that have stopped using social media see improvements in overall well-being, depression, and anxiety compared to those who continue to use social media. Isn’t that wild? You probably didn’t realize how much social media impacts your overall mood. I know I didn’t.
Early Childhood experiences:
As a young child, bullying from peers about body size and shape can impact your beliefs about your body and what it’s supposed to look like. As a child at tender developmental stages, these comments can greatly impact you. Those beliefs about your body when you are younger may contribute to insecurity about your appearance and can then become a theme throughout your life.
Trauma and Abuse
Women who have experienced trauma and abuse may believe that their body is to blame for what happened. In our society, women’s bodies are often sexualized and objectified, making it feel like they have to hide their bodies to be protected from further trauma and abuse. Further, people who have experienced trauma and abuse develop body shame and feel disgusted and hatred toward their bodies.
Comments made by other people
This one. If you are my client sitting across from me and we are processing your body image history, and you share the comments people have made about your body, my eyes are either going to water, or I’m going to be internally angry, or both. It is common for women with body image issues to have had a mother, grandmother, or some other authority figure make negative comments about their body. This one is a heartbreaker. Women learn something is wrong with their bodies, and they need to change it. Even if these women didn’t have someone making comments about their bodies, they have witnessed other people in their lives speaking painful words about their bodies. In turn, you learn to be critical of your own body or start thinking about your body more than you did before.
Eating disorders and body image issues can go together
Eating disorders and body image issues are a match made in…hell? While you can have an eating disorder without body image issues, it’s not as common. When a woman comes to therapy and says they have body image issues but no disordered eating, I have to check twice. Not because it doesn’t happen, but because it’s so common and disordered eating is so prevalent in our society that it’s hidden in plain sight. Negative body image can progress into an eating disorder. The negative beliefs you hold about yourself and your body feels like could be solved by changing your body. Often the first attempt at changing your appearance is to focus on weight loss. One in four women that diet will progress to having an eating disorder. It’s a slippery slope and is dangerous. Body image issues being dangerous is probably not the first thing that comes to your mind, but it’s the scary reality.
Postpartum body image issues
What the hell is with this weird bounce-back culture to postpartum women? Sorry for saying hell, but the expectations not so kindly bestowed upon postpartum women are suffocating and disturbing. The expectations for you to get back to your pre-baby weight and body ASAP make me wanna scream into a pillow. As if sharing your beautiful body to grow another human for 9 months wasn’t hard enough, you give birth-which seems like the most painful experience a human body can go through, and then you have postpartum. Breastfeeding, hormone shifts, caring for a newborn babe, and sleep deprivation, BUT somehow you’re supposed to get washboard abs in the midst of this. This is not realistic, and it’s not ok. In Utah, this issue is extremely prevalent. Perhaps part of it is from watching social media influencers push this agenda, but this is a two-thumbs-down approach for postpartum women.
Why doesn’t changing your body cure body image issues?
You wanna know one of my least favorite things to see on social media? Women who have raved about their tummy tuck and weight loss surgery boosting their self-confidence. I’m not doubting this isn’t true for them, but the message that’s being shared is “I couldn’t be confident about my body without these procedures” and “If you want to be confident, get these procedures, and you’ll be confident in yourself too.” Deep breathes. This is harmful rhetoric. Reminder, if you have had these procedures done or want to have these procedures done, there is no judgment at all. This isn’t a moral issue, and it’s not right or wrong. I am addressing that passing this type of message on is damaging. These procedures are treating symptoms and not the real problem. What’s underneath all of this? What beliefs are you holding onto about yourself and your body that is resulting in all this self-hatred that makes you feel like you have to change yourself and your wonderful body? Beneath every procedure is still that wounded part of you that thinks your appearance is the most important part of you. Those feelings don’t miraculously dissolve because you change your body. I’m not arguing that you won’t be more self-confident, but I am arguing it won’t make you happier. It will never be enough. There will always be another procedure to try, and you will always be focused on your body. This doesn’t have to be your life. You can make peace with your body without focusing on changing it. Your body will change throughout time, and it’s a good body no matter what. I just want you to believe that.
How do I support someone I love with body image issues?
Listening to someone you love to pick apart their bodies can be bruuuuutal. It can be frustrating when no amount of reassurance seems to make a difference. Reassurance that their body is attractive actually can feed into the cycle, and often feels like you are wasting your breath. Here are some options to consider:
Share with them the qualities and attributes you love about them that have nothing to do with body and appearance.
Listen without judgment. You don’t need to try and fix what they feel. Please also don’t suggest eating healthier or going to the gym. Never do that, please and thank you.
Avoid making statements about your body and other people’s bodies' appearance. This reiterates the importance of what a body looks like.
Redirect to talking about their feelings and what’s bothering them instead of making negative comments about their body.
Body image therapy can help
If you have identified yourself somewhere in this post, first of all, welcome. You’re safe here, and you aren’t alone. Many women feel shame for how they feel about their bodies because they believe they should just be thankful and not feel like they do. If only that would resolve everything. Using logic to outsmart your body image issues will definitely not be sufficient to work through it. Body image therapy is an important step in stopping the war and fight you have with your body. Therapy for body image issues is an effective approach to being able to feel better about yourself. You may not realize how much your experiences, early childhood, and trauma may be impacting how you feel about yourself. Body image therapy can help you work through these experiences and challenge the beliefs you hold about yourself.
Start working with a body image therapist in Utah
Oh hey! As it turns out, I am a body image therapist and would love to help you heal. You don’t have to keep hating your body and make peace with it instead. At this Utah County Counseling Clinic, I offer in-person therapy in my office in Spanish Fork
Through online therapy in Utah, I can work with you wherever you are located in Utah. We can work together if you are in St. George, Logan, or Salt Lake City. Richfield? Panguitch? I got you.
How to begin body image therapy?
Complete online forms and schedule the first session with a mental health expert
Begin body image therapy
Other mental health services at Maple Canyon Therapy
Body image therapy isn’t the only mental health service I provide at this Utah Counseling Center. Other mental health services provided by Maple Canyon Therapy include anxiety therapy, EMDR and trauma therapy, eating disorder treatment, and binge eating disorder treatment in Utah.
About the Author
Ashlee Hunt is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and owner of Maple Canyon Therapy in Spanish Fork, Utah. Ashlee is a body image therapist specializing in body image issues. She is passionate about helping women get to a better place with their bodies by learning to use body kindness and body respect. Ashlee wants to instill hope into women that they don’t have to spend their lives hating their bodies but can stop thinking about them. Ashlee holds two bachelor's degrees, one in psychology, and one in family life and human development, from Southern Utah University in Cedar City, Utah. She received her Masters in Social Work from Utah State University in Logan, Utah. Ashlee has helped many women have more self-compassion and improve their body image.