Have you seen the Tiktok trend of professionals in various fields sharing the top 5 things they would never do because of what they know as experts in their chosen field? Instead, I decided to jump on that bandwagon by sharing it all with you in blog form. I want to ensure that you understand this is not to sound self-righteous or above anyone else. Ironically, I have previously done all of these because I’m no better than anyone else. My education, experience, and my incredible clients have helped me understand why these areas are detrimental. If these are things you are doing or have done, allow some self-compassion. You haven’t known any better, and that’s ok. If you look at this list and scoff and think I’m inspiring laziness or anti-health, that’s ok too. This is your journey and your experience, and I hope you find whatever it is you need to find.
Eating disorders are complex conditions; how often have you heard me say that? Here’s to repeating it. Different factors make someone vulnerable to developing an eating disorder, and certain factors might protect someone from developing an eating disorder. I want to share with you the things I hope I would never do to help protect others from developing eating disorders.
As an Eating disorder Therapist, I would never….
1. Make negative comments about my body or comment on others’ bodies.
When I ask my clients about the history of their body-image issues, they either know right away, or they get a little pensive and recall comments their parents, grandparents, friends, etc., have made about their bodies or others' bodies. Negative comments about your body might seem only to be hurting you, but it’s actually impacting the people around you. This opens up the idea that if you don’t like your body, then maybe there is something wrong with your body too. Not only that, but it emphasizes the importance of appearance and bodies as a whole. We are all much more than our bodies, and moving beyond this would drastically improve body image as a whole.
You don’t have to be stoked about your body, you don’t have to be stoked about other people's bodies; you can wish you had someone else's body, but please don’t say those things out loud. Our words and language truly matter. As women, we have more to bond about than how much we hate our bodies.
2. Label foods as good or bad
Gone are the days when we need to villainize and demonize food. Food is just food. Sugar is not addictive, and carbs aren’t “going to make you fat” Food isn’t about morals and doesn’t need to be labeled as good or bad. There is no holy and perfect food that fits all the requirements for all the right times. If you were on a deserted island, you would be better off having a stash of ice cream than a stash of carrots. Having flexibility around food is so important for physical and mental well-being. Labeling foods as bad increases fear and guilt around eating them. We don’t need to keep passing on the message that food is good or bad. Focusing more on intuitive eating and making peace with food is the most valuable approach.
3. Engage in dieting behaviors
I know someone I love and care about who told me they have never been much of a dieter, yet they happen to be one of the biggest dieters I have ever met. There are plenty of diets out there; just because you aren’t following a formal diet doesn’t mean you are not engaging in dieting. Intentionally restricting food intake or variety for weight loss is dieting. Avoiding sugar or having position control in hopes of losing weight is a form of dieting. The dangers of dieting are that it is disordered eating and leads to the development of eating disorders. Dieting leads to decreased self-esteem, increased weight gain (Ironic, isn’t it?), slowed metabolism, mood irritability, and much more. There is evidence to suggest that one in four dieters will go on to develop an obsessive relationship with food and meet the criteria for an eating disorder. Dieting is not good for physical health or mental health.
4. Make rules about sizes, weight, and clothing.
I don’t know that I have ever worked with a woman in eating disorder treatment that didn’t have some sort of rule around size or weight. They may have denied at first t they had any rules, but upon further exploration, they realized they put restrictions on the sizes of clothing they were allowed to wear. This means if their body changed at all to a different size, this wasn’t ok, and they had somehow to manipulate their weight to a smaller size of clothing. The number on the inside of jeans holds so much power over the women I work with that it is heartbreaking. It’s hard work to change their beliefs and mindset about what is ok regarding clothing sizes. The same thing applies to weight. Somehow there is a certain number that is a “good” or “healthy” number to be at, and anything above it is not ok. I remember learning as a young girl that “120” was a good weight for a woman to be. This is completely realistic for probably the majority of women. Talking about numbers and weight is also something I hope that I never ever do.
Aside from clothing sizes, I hope I never make rules for anyone about what kind of clothing they should wear. Every parent is allowed to implement guidelines and a dress code around clothing, but if it’s fueled by the desire for thinness, hiding body parts, or because of weight, that’s not cool. If a woman of any size wants to wear a crop top, she can. If a woman wants to wear shorts to keep her body cool, she can. We must accept that all bodies are good and deserve to be comfortable.
5. Share jokes about eating disorder behaviors
It is never funny to make jokes about eating disorder behaviors. Ever. Joking about purging or restricting is not ok, and it will never be funny. Maybe this comes across as harsh, but I’m telling you because I want you to stop doing it. You have no idea how painful and scary it is to have an eating disorder. Eating disorders thrive in secrecy and are easy to be kept hidden. There is no good kind of eating disorder. Eating disorders impact men and women of any size and are always harmful. You don’t know the people around you that are struggling with an eating disorder and disordered eating. Making light of their experience is painful and teaches them you aren’t a safe person. It’s ok for you not to understand an eating disorder, but it doesn’t make a serious mental health struggle something to make a joke about. As a teenager, I made jokes about eating disorder behaviors and deeply regretted it. It’s one of those things that I struggle not to ruminate on because I know how horrible it was to make a joke about this mental health condition. Learn from my mistakes and don’t make jokes about them.
Begin eating disorder treatment and start working with an eating disorder therapist near Provo, Utah
If you struggle with an eating disorder or disordered eating, you don’t have to try to figure it out alone. I know your relationship with food and body image issues doesn’t have a quick fix. Recovering from an eating disorder is possible, and eating disorder therapy can help. I have experience in training in helping women be more accepting of their bodies and less anxious around food. This Utah Counseling Clinic has an eating disorder therapist to help! To begin therapy:
Meet with a mental health professional
Begin eating disorder therapy
Online Eating Disorder Therapy in Utah
As a therapist licensed in Utah, I can work with you in person in my office in Spanish Fork, but I can also work with you from anywhere in Utah through online therapy in Utah. This means if you are located in Logan, St. George, or Salt Lake City, we can still work together for you to meet your mental health goals.
Other Counseling Services offered at Maple Canyon Therapy
I work with more than just women who struggle with eating disorders at this Northern Utah Counseling Center. Other Services provided by Maple Canyon Therapy include anxiety treatment, body image therapy, binge eating disorder treatment, EMDR, and trauma therapy.
About the Author
Ashlee Hunt is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, eating disorder therapist, and owner of Maple Canyon Therapy Services in Utah. Ashlee has two bachelor’s degrees, a psychology degree, a Family Life and Human Development Degree from Southern Utah University, and a master’s degree in social work from Utah State University. Ashlee is passionate about treating eating disorders and working with women who struggle with: body image issues, disordered eating, and binge eating disorder. She utilizes EMDR for eating disorders to help her clients in eating disorder recovery. She also helps women who struggle with: symptoms of anxiety, including high-functioning anxiety and perfectionism. Ashlee believes in intuitive eating for eating disorder recovery and utilizes a Health At Every Size Approach in providing care to her clients.