How Does People-Pleasing Affect Your Mental Health? Insights from a Salt Lake City Anxiety Therapist
Many women in Salt Lake City who struggle with anxiety also recognize themselves in people-pleasing patterns. You may have been praised for being the peacemaker, the one who keeps the peace, avoids conflict, and makes sure everyone else is comfortable. On the surface, people-pleasing can look like a positive trait. But over time, constantly putting other people’s needs ahead of your own can take a real toll on your mental health. When you ignore your own thoughts, opinions, and needs in order to keep others happy, you can start to lose touch with what actually matters to you. It’s not surprising that this pressure often turns into anxiety and constant overthinking. Through anxiety therapy in Salt Lake City, many women begin to understand how people-pleasing developed and learn healthier ways to honor their own needs without feeling overwhelmed by guilt.
The main characteristic of people-pleasing is a continuous worry about what others think and a deep need for their approval. This constant concern keeps our minds always on edge. Because of this, our body's stress defenses kick in, causing ongoing stress. If this carries on for too long, it can result in severe health problems, both physical and mental, including anxiety disorders, among others.
Guilt
People who always try to please others often feel a lot of guilt. They might feel bad when they speak up for themselves, put their own needs first, or even when they take a little time off for themselves. This guilt is always there, adding to their worry and stress. This guilt works in a cycle. They try to make others happy to avoid feeling guilty. But when they can't make others happy or when they choose to do something for themselves, they feel guilty. So, they keep trying to make others happy. It's like a trap that keeps them worried and stressed.
In the end, feeling guilty all the time is like being in a tough tug-of-war. On one side, there's the desire to prioritize yourself. On the other side, there's the fear of upsetting others. This struggle can cause a lot of distress, making it harder to break free from the cycle of always trying to please others, and adding to their stress and anxiety.
Anxiety
People-pleasing can directly fuel anxiety. The need to always keep others content and to keep the peace can put you on edge, worrying about others' opinions, reactions, and feelings. The fear of making a mistake or disappointing someone is stressful. This unending cycle of worry activates the body's stress response, causing feelings of restlessness, irritability, and difficulty concentrating, which are all common symptoms of anxiety. Over time, this state of anxiety can develop into an anxiety disorder, significantly impacting a person's mental health and overall well-being.
In addition to the constant worry and stress, always trying to make others happy can cause you to neglect your own needs and emotions. This self-neglect can leave you feeling overwhelmed and under a lot of pressure, further adding to your anxiety. You might find yourself overthinking every decision or conversation, fearing that any misstep could upset someone else.
Loneliness
People-pleasing can often cause people to feel very alone. The fear of letting others down or being rejected can make it hard for them to have real, open relationships. They're always hiding their true feelings and desires to avoid arguments or upset, which only makes them feel more worried and alone. Over time, this pattern of hiding their true selves can become a barrier to forming deep, genuine relationships. They might have plenty of people around them, but they still, feel a sense of loneliness because they're not being true to themselves. They're constantly playing a role or wearing a mask, which can lead to a deep feeling of disconnect from others.
Burnout
Always trying to make others happy can make a person feel really tired, both in their body and mind. This is called burnout. Because they're always trying to meet others' needs, people who please others often forget to look after themselves. They might not notice they're getting unwell until they're really worn out and exhausted. For people-pleasers, burnout can happen because they're constantly giving to others without taking time to replenish their own energy. They often ignore the signs of burnout, like feeling exhausted or becoming more irritable, because they're too focused on pleasing others. But ignoring these signs doesn't make them go away.
Learn to Say No Without The Guilt
If you’ve ever felt guilty for saying no, or drained from always saying yes, this guide is for you. Inside, you’ll find scripts, prompts, and tools to help you protect your time and energy without losing your kindness or compassion.
Anxiety Therapy in Salt Lake City, Utah, for people-pleasing
Anxiety therapy can be a big help for people who often try to please others. In anxiety counseling, you can learn how to understand and manage your anxiety, as well as address the reasons behind your people-pleasing habits. As an anxiety therapist, I can help you learn how to set healthy boundaries, express your feelings, and prioritize your needs. You can also learn coping strategies to handle stress better and prevent burnout. Through anxiety counseling, you can work on building your self-esteem and start to understand that your worth is not tied to pleasing others. Over time, anxiety therapy can help you break free from the cycle of people-pleasing, reduce your anxiety, and improve your overall mental health and well-being.
Begin working with an anxiety therapist in Salt Lake City, Utah
Your job on earth is not to make everyone else happy at your expense. You deserve to prioritize your needs first. Anxiety therapy can help you overcome people-pleasing. This Utah Counseling Center has an anxiety therapist who can help. To begin anxiety treatment, follow the steps below:
Meet with an anxiety counselor
Find freedom from people-pleasing
Frequently Asked Questions About People-Pleasing and Anxiety
Is people-pleasing linked to anxiety?
Yes. Many people-pleasing behaviors are connected to anxiety about conflict, rejection, or disappointing others. When someone feels responsible for keeping everyone else comfortable, it can lead to constant overthinking, guilt, and emotional exhaustion.
Why do people-pleasers feel anxious all the time?
People-pleasers often feel anxious because they are constantly scanning how others feel and trying to avoid upsetting anyone. This can create ongoing pressure to say yes, keep the peace, and ignore their own needs.
Can people-pleasing lead to burnout?
It can. When someone regularly prioritizes everyone else’s needs while ignoring their own boundaries, it can lead to emotional exhaustion, resentment, and burnout over time.
How do you stop people-pleasing when you have anxiety?
Changing people-pleasing patterns usually involves understanding the anxiety underneath them. Therapy can help you learn to tolerate the discomfort of setting boundaries, express your needs more clearly, and reduce the fear of disappointing others.
Can I get anxiety therapy if I live in Salt Lake City?
Yes. If you live in Salt Lake City or anywhere in Utah, you can work with a therapist through online sessions. Anxiety therapy in Salt Lake City can help you understand the connection between anxiety and people-pleasing and begin building healthier boundaries and self-trust.
About the Author
Ashlee Hunt, LCSW, is a licensed clinical social worker who specializes in helping women navigate anxiety, people-pleasing, body image concerns, and their relationship with food. She earned her Master’s degree in Social Work from Utah State University and holds two Bachelor’s degrees from Southern Utah University, one in Psychology and one in Family Life and Human Development.
Ashlee has worked with eating disorders and anxiety across multiple levels of care, giving her extensive experience helping clients understand the emotional patterns that drive behaviors like overthinking, perfectionism, and people-pleasing. Her therapeutic approach is relational, trauma-informed, and compassion-focused, emphasizing emotional understanding and self-compassion rather than simply trying to eliminate symptoms.
In addition to her clinical work, Ashlee has served as an adjunct professor in the Social Work Department at Utah State University, where she taught courses on social work practice and counseling perspectives.
Ashlee is the founder of Maple Canyon Therapy, an online therapy practice serving women across Utah, including Salt Lake City. Through anxiety therapy in Salt Lake City, she helps high-functioning women who feel overwhelmed by anxiety and people-pleasing learn to trust themselves, set healthier boundaries, and build a more grounded relationship with their emotions.