Why Can’t I Stop Binging?

Between you and I, binge eating disorder treatment is one of my favorite focuses to provide. Why? Because people with binge eating carry so much shame for struggling with binging. They don’t talk about it or share it with others because they are humiliated. As a result, they stay stuck in a painful pool of emotions that makes them even more vulnerable to binge. I love to be able to give compassion and kindness to these people because they deserve it. People who binge are often misunderstood by themselves and by other people. They can’t figure out why they keep binging when it makes them hate themselves, and they hate how they feel. There are deeper reasons for why you might binge, and I want to dive into some of them. 

Reasons for binge eating

Everyone has a unique reason for binging. Your reason might not be on this list but that doesn’t mean it’s not valid. 

1. Coping with emotions

Binge eating is often a way to deal with strong emotions. People sometimes turn to food when they're feeling stressed, sad, alone, anxious, or bored. Eating can give a brief distraction or comfort when feeling strong feelings. Subconsciously it’s possible that people might resort to binging to numb their feelings because they are feeling too much. Binging may start out as emotional eating but then feels out of control. 

2.  Seeking pleasure

Binge eating triggers the release of certain neurotransmitters such as dopamine, in the brain. Dopamine gives the feeling of pleasure and reward. When someone engages in binge eating, they experience a surge of dopamine, meaning it makes them feel good. Over time, the brain starts to link binge eating with feeling better, creating a powerful incentive to continue the behavior. People might be prone to binge eating when they don’t have many other sources of pleasure in their lives. Those with ADHD are more likely to use binging as a way of reward or binging but that doesn’t mean you have to have ADHD to use food as pleasure. 

3.. Restrictive Eating Patterns: 

People who binge eat believe it’s because they don’t have self-control or willpower when the truth is it’s because they are restricting. Strict diets or limiting and eliminating food groups can set the stage for binge eating. When your body is deprived of certain foods or nutrients, it can lead to intense cravings. These cravings may eventually overpower your self-control, resulting in binge eating episodes when they do allow themselves to eat. These cravings are the body’s way to get the nutrition and energy they need to survive and they also make you vulnerable to binge. 

4. Trauma history

People with a history of trauma might turn to binge eating for a few reasons. Trauma, like experiencing a really difficult or painful event, can deeply affect how a person copes and feels. Binge eating might become a way to handle the intense emotions and memories connected to the trauma. Food can provide a temporary escape from those feelings. Also, binge eating triggers certain chemicals in the brain that make you feel better for a short while, offering relief from the distress that trauma brings.

5.  Guilt and Shame: 

Guilt and shame can actually contribute to binge eating in a few ways. When someone feels guilty about something they've done or the way they look, they might turn to food for comfort. Binge eating temporarily soothes those feelings, but it can also make them feel worse afterward. This can create a cycle where the guilt or shame from binge eating leads to more binge eating to escape those emotions.

6. Negative body image

Negative body image can lead to binge eating in several ways. When you don’t like the way you look it can bring up feelings of shame, sadness, and frustration. Binge eating might become a way to cope with these emotions, even though it's just temporary relief. After binge eating, guilt and shame often follow, making the negative body image feelings even worse. Comparing oneself to others or societal standards can make things harder too. Binge eating might offer a sense of comfort or distraction from these tough thoughts and feelings. It's like a cycle: feeling bad about the body, binge eating, and then feeling guilty. 

“I can’t stop eating sweets”

I hear this from the women I work with all the time. They struggle with binging and don’t trust themselves around sweets. They wonder if something is wrong with them because they can’t seem to stop themselves. I need you to understand how normal it is to struggle with emotional eating or binge eating on this type of food. It can feel frustrating to feel like you have no control of yourself when it comes to sweets. However, if you have a history of dieting or if you’ve deemed sweets as “bad” or something to avoid, that just increases your cravings for them. Believe it or not, in order to stop the cycle of overeating or binging on sweets, you have to give yourself, as intutive eating states, unconditional permission to have this type of food. Stop forbidding yourself from having sweets and let yourself enjoy it. Don’t tell yourself this will be the last time you can have sweets because that will just fuel the cycle even more.

Binge eating disorder treatment in Utah can help you stop binging

Binge eating disorder treatment or therapy can be a powerful tool in helping you overcome binge eating. Through therapy, you can learn to understand the underlying reasons behind why you binge such as emotional triggers or negative thought patterns. A binge eating disorder therapist can provide you with coping skills to manage difficult emotions without turning to food. They'll guide you in using different ways to deal with stress, sadness, or anxiety. Therapy also helps you build a positive relationship with food and your body, focusing on mindful eating and self-compassion. With the support of a therapist, you can break the cycle of binge eating, address the root causes, and work towards lasting change in your eating habits and overall well-being.

Start working with a binge eating disorder therapist in Utah 

You can stop binging and feel more in control again. You don’t have to keep feeling humiliated by the way you eat. Binge eating disorder treatment can help. This Utah Eating Disorder Clinic has a binge eating disorder therapist who can help you make peace with food. To begin counseling follow the steps below: 

1. Schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation 

2. Meet with an eating disorder therapist

3. Make peace with food

About the Author

Ashlee Hunt, LCSW, is an eating disorder therapist and founder of Maple Canyon Therapy, a therapy practice based in Utah. With a passion for helping women achieve better mental health. Ashlee holds a diverse educational background that equips her to provide the best support to the women she works with. She earned her Bachelor's degree in Psychology, allowing her to delve into the intricacies of human behavior. Building on this foundation, Ashlee also obtained a Bachelor's degree in Family Life and Human Development, deepening her understanding of family dynamics and relationships. Her commitment to enhancing the lives of others led her to attain a Master's degree in Social Work where she focuses on providing therapy for women who struggle with anxiety and disordered eating.

3 Restaurants in Logan,Utah to Challenge Binge Eating

It probably seems that eating out only makes binge-eating episodes worse. In binge eating disorder treatment, we work on rethinking this perspective. Eating out can actually help you reshape your relationship with food. Binge episodes often occur when you’re alone and in secret, with food you won’t allow yourself to eat typically. Eating out at a restaurant can help you be more in tune with your hunger and fullness and take binge eating foods off of their pedestal. If you’re located in Logan, Utah, I have some recommendations to try. 

Angie’s 

I went to graduate school at Utah State University in Logan, and you want to know what I think about when I think about Angie’s? One of my professors told us that when his wife goes out of town he buys a cheesecake from Angies and has a slice every day while she’s gone so he has something to look forward to because he doesn’t have her there. Whatever meal you want to challenge yourself on, Angie’s has something. It’s located off of Main Street next to Smith’s in Logan. Breakfast can be a challenging meal for many people who struggle with binge eating. It’s the day's first meal after they may have binged the night before. If you’re starting the day out telling yourself you don’t deserve to eat or you shouldn’t eat to regain control, Unfortunately, you’re bound to start the binge cycle all over again if you continue to try and restrict. Breakfast at Angie’s may be a good option for you to try. 

Morty’s Cafe

I love Morty’s Cafe. Morty’s is located close to campus next to the LDS Institute building. Morty’s is known for their delicious burgers, which is why I have chosen it for those struggling with disordered eating. Burgers and fries are typically at the top of the list of “bad” foods that people with eating disorders try to avoid. This avoidance leads to more cravings and often becomes a type of food only eaten in binge episodes. To make this type of food an equal playing ground as other foods, you’ve got to incorporate them into your diet. You will be surprised to find that when you give yourself unconditional permission to eat all the foods you want, like intuitive eating suggests, they stop holding you, hostage. I’m in favor that you give Morty’s a try for that reason. 

Le Nonne

Le Nonne is an Italian restaurant located close to St. John’s Episcopal Church in Logan. Le Nonne is a whole vibe to elevate your eating experience. Often the women I work with struggle tremendously with sitting down to eat and enjoy a meal. Eating is not special to those who struggle with binge eating disorder. Binging often happens quickly and is not enjoyable for very long. One of the reasons I like Le Nonne is because eating is an experience. On Wednesdays and Fridays, there is live Jazz music to enjoy, which makes your meal that much more special. Le Nonne is a classy place, and I love that they have outside seating. 

Binge Eating Disorder Treatment in Logan, Utah can help you stop binge eating

You don't have to keep struggling like this all by yourself. Binge eating disorder treatment offers a powerful way to break free from the overwhelming cycle of overeating. In eating disorder therapy, you will figure out the triggers behind your binge episodes. Together, we'll delve into your emotions and thoughts, unraveling the reasons behind turning to food in tough times. Through this process, you'll learn tools to manage stress and develop better ways of coping. Binge Eating Disorder Treatment isn't as much about food itself but about why you use it. You'll uncover a  clearer understanding of your relationship with food, discover how to tune in to your body's signals of hunger and fullness and become an intuitive eater. 

Start working with an eating disorder therapist in Logan, Utah today

You don’t have to keep feeling out of control. You can stop suffering with the help of someone who knows how to help you gain the freedom and peace you’re looking for. Binge Eating Disorder Treatment can help. This Utah Eating Disorder Clinic has an eating disorder therapist specializing in binge eating disorder. To begin counseling follow the steps below: 

1. Schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation 

2. Meet with a binge eating disorder therapist

3. Find freedom from binge eating

Online Eating Disorder Therapy in Utah 

Online therapy in Utah is a great way to get help for binge eating disorder. It's easy to access and works well, no matter where you are in Utah. Not everywhere in Utah has access to an eating disorder therapist with the specialized training to help. With online eating disorder therapy, you get the treatment you need, while in the comfort of your own home and in your own space. It's a convenient way to tackle binge eating and start living a better, more balanced life right from where you feel the safest. 

Online counseling also means I work with clients no matter where they live in Utah. I work with clients in St. George, Cedar City, Provo, Heber City, Logan, Salt Lake City, and more. 

About the Author 

Ashlee Hunt, LCSW, is the esteemed founder of Maple Canyon Therapy in Utah, bringing a wealth of experience in treating eating disorders to her practice. With a background steeped in psychology and family life and human development—earning bachelor's degrees in both disciplines from Southern Utah University—Ashlee possesses a nuanced understanding of the complexities surrounding mental health and interpersonal relationships. Her dedication to this field led her to attain a master's degree in social work from Utah State University, further honing her expertise in clinical practice. Ashlee's professional journey has been comprehensive, having worked across all levels of treatment for eating disorders. Her diverse experience equips her with a deep understanding of the challenges individuals face, allowing her to provide compassionate and effective care to her clients at Maple Canyon Therapy.

The Complete Guide to Understanding People Pleasing

Are you constantly caught in the trap of people-pleasing, putting others' needs before your own? Do you find yourself overwhelmed by anxiety, fearing rejection and criticism? If so, you're not alone. Many women struggle with the overwhelming desire to seek approval and avoid conflict, often at the expense of their own well-being. In this blog post, we will go in-depth on people-pleasing and its connection to anxiety. We'll explore how anxiety therapy can provide support in breaking free from the cycle of people-pleasing

What is people-pleasing?

People-pleasing is when someone always seeks approval and avoids disapproval from others. They put the needs, desires, and opinions of others before their own, often forgetting about their own boundaries, well-being, and true selves. People-pleasers stress about meeting everyone else's expectations, going to great lengths to make sure others are happy, even if it means ignoring their own wants and needs.

To keep things peaceful and avoid conflicts, people-pleasers do things like constantly seeking validation, never saying no to requests, hiding their real thoughts and feelings, and saying sorry a lot, even when it's not their fault. They often worry about being rejected, criticized, or getting into arguments, and their self-worth is closely tied to how others perceive them and accept them.

While people-pleasing can come from genuinely wanting to be kind and helpful, it can create problems. It can lead to long-term stress, feeling drained, and not finding personal fulfillment. It can also make relationships one-sided, where others start expecting the people-pleaser to always prioritize their needs over their own.

Am I a people pleaser?

To figure out if you're a people pleaser, take a moment to reflect on these questions:

• Do you often go above and beyond to meet other people's expectations, even if it means sacrificing your own well-being and desires?

• Are you frequently afraid of letting others down or making them upset, so you end up neglecting your own needs and wants?

• Do you struggle to speak up and assert your boundaries because you're scared of rejection or conflict?

• Is it hard for you to say no when someone asks for a favor, even if you're already overwhelmed or stretched too thin?

• Do you constantly seek validation and approval from others to feel good about yourself or boost your self-worth?

• Do you find yourself apologizing excessively, even when you're not at fault, just to keep others happy or avoid arguments?

• Do you often feel responsible for the happiness and well-being of those around you, sometimes at the expense of your own happiness?

If you can relate to several of these behaviors, there's a chance you might have some people-pleasing tendencies. Remember, self-awareness is key here. Take some time to think about your motivations, needs, and recurring patterns of behavior to gain a better understanding of yourself. If you notice that people-pleasing behaviors are negatively impacting your life and well-being, it could be helpful to explore strategies for setting healthier boundaries and prioritizing your own needs.

Do People-Pleasers have anxiety?

As an anxiety therapist, I see many people pleasers also experience anxiety symptoms. The two often go hand in hand because constantly seeking approval and worrying about meeting others' expectations can create a lot of stress and pressure.

People pleasers are often motivated by a fear of being rejected, criticized, or getting into conflicts. They may worry about disappointing others or not being liked. These worries can keep them in a state of anxiety, always on edge and preoccupied with how they are seen by others.

Another reason why people pleasers often experience anxiety is because they tend to prioritize the needs of others above their own. They neglect their own well-being and don’t set boundaries, which can leave them emotionally drained and overwhelmed. This ongoing lack of prioritizing their own needs contributes to feelings of anxiety and can even lead to burnout. On top of that, the inner battle that people pleasers face can intensify their anxiety. They often find themselves caught in a constant battle between their own needs or opinions and being scared to disappoint others. The good news is there is help and anxiety therapy is one of those ways.

It's important to remember that not all people pleasers have anxiety, and not everyone with anxiety is a people pleaser. However, there is a strong connection between the two, and addressing people-pleasing behaviors can be a crucial step in managing and reducing anxiety symptoms.

What is the root cause of people-pleasing?

The root cause of people-pleasing behaviors can vary from person to person. There is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to why people learn to people-please. One possible reason for people pleasing is fear of rejection. Many people pleasers have wanted so badly to be liked and accepted by others. It can stem from earlier experiences where they learned that their worth came from what others thought of them.  The fear of rejection can make a people pleaser go to great lengths to gain approval, even if it means ignoring their own needs. Another reason for people pleasing is a fear of criticism or conflict. People pleasers often avoid expressing their true opinions or setting boundaries because they worry someone else won’t like it or it could lead to conflict. They may have learned early on that conflict was uncomfortable or unsafe, leading them to try to keep the peace above expressing their true wishes. People-pleasing may also come from low self-esteem or lack of self-worth. When you don’t feel confident in your own value, you might seek approval from others to feel better about yourself.

Why am I constantly people-pleasing?

Feeling stuck in people-pleasing behaviors can feel hopeless. It may be hard to understand why you feel like you have to please other people. While the specific reasons behind your tendency to people please are unique to you, there are common reasons why people try to please others so much.  One reason is a fear of rejection, where you want to be liked so badly and try to not make anyone upset or think of you negatively. You go above and beyond to gain approval from others. You may not feel good about yourself and struggle with your self-esteem so in order to combat these feelings you focus on making everyone else happy. It's important to consider early experiences that may be related to why you constantly people please, such as growing up when you learned to keep the peace or avoid backlash was to people-please. Going to anxiety therapy can help you explore deeper as to why you have learned to use people-pleasing, and why it’s hard to get out of it. 

How does people-pleasing affect your mental health?

People-pleasing really takes a toll on your mental health, often causing more anxiety. It's all about constantly putting others' needs first and seeking their approval, which creates this ongoing sense of stress and pressure. The fear of letting others down and always relying on their validation can really mess with your head, leading to even more anxiety and self-doubt. Plus, when you keep neglecting your own well-being and hiding your true thoughts and feelings just to keep the peace, it can leave you feeling exhausted, resentful, and emotionally all over the place. That's why reaching out to an anxiety therapist is so important. You can figure out the root causes of your people-pleasing behavior, and find better ways to cope. You deserve your own mental health to be prioritized. 

What kind of trauma causes people-pleasing?

The kind of trauma that leads to people-pleasing can vary from person to person. Different experiences can contribute to learning to put others’ needs above your own.  For example, traumatic events during childhood, like neglect or inconsistent parenting, can influence someone to develop people-pleasing behaviors. Emotional trauma, such as experiencing intense criticism or loss, can also play a role. Growing up in a home where your own thoughts and feelings weren’t seen as important can lead to wanting approval and validation from other people. We also live in a society that reiterates people pleasing. t's important to remember that people-pleasing can have many different reasons and sources.  If you recognize people-pleasing tendencies in yourself and have experienced trauma, seeking therapy can help you understand and work through these experiences.

How do you overcome people-pleasing anxiety?

Overcoming people-pleasing is a process that involves self-reflection, self-compassion, and implementing new strategies. Here are some steps you can take to work towards overcoming people-pleasing:

Use Self-Awareness

Take time to recognize and acknowledge how people-pleasing has affected your life, relationships, and mental health. Self-awareness is the first step toward making a change.

Identify triggers and negative beliefs

Pay attention to places,  situations, or people that tend to bring out your people-pleasing behaviors. Explore the beliefs and fears that drive your need for approval or fear of rejection.

Set clear boundaries

Establish boundaries to protect yourself and your relationships, and prioritize your own needs. Learn to say "no" when necessary and communicate your limits assertively but respectfully.

Practice Self-Care

 Make self-care a priority in your life. Engage in activities that help you feel fulfilled and rejuvenated. Taking care of your own needs is essential for your overall well-being.

Practice Self-Compassion

Self-compassion plays an important role in overcoming people-pleasing. It means treating yourself with kindness and understanding as you navigate the process of change. By developing self-compassion you improve how your self-esteem. 

Challenge negative thoughts

 Challenge and reframe negative thoughts and beliefs that drive people-pleasing behaviors. Replace self-critical thoughts with more compassionate and empowering ones.

Practice assertive communication

Develop assertiveness skills to express your thoughts, feelings, and needs clearly and respectfully. Learn to communicate honestly even when you are afraid of conflict or disapproval.

Seek anxiety therapy

 Consider reaching out to an anxiety therapist or anxiety counselor who can provide guidance and support on your journey to overcoming people-pleasing. 

Anxiety Therapy in Utah can help with people-pleasing 

Anxiety therapy or anxiety counseling can be incredibly helpful in working through people-pleasing tendencies, as well as coping with anxiety symptoms. In anxiety treatment, you work closely with an anxiety therapist to gain more of an understanding of why you people-please and what triggers this. Through this process, you can find better ways to cope, such as setting boundaries, being more assertive, and challenging negative thoughts. Anxiety therapy provides a safe space to explore your emotions and learn more about yourself. With the support and guidance of an anxiety therapist, you can gradually break free from people-pleasing and reduce anxiety. 

Begin working with a therapist for anxiety in Utah

You don’t have to keep struggling with people-pleasing. You can work through it with the help of an anxiety therapist. This Utah Counseling Clinic has a therapist providing anxiety therapy that specializes in people-pleasing. To begin anxiety treatment follow the steps below: 

1. Schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation 

2. Meet with an anxiety therapist

3. Break free of people-pleasing

About the Author 

Ashlee Hunt, LCSW, is a highly experienced therapist who has been dedicated to helping individuals for ten years. Her passion lies in working with women who struggle with anxiety, providing them with the support and guidance they need to overcome their challenges. Ashlee holds a Bachelor's degree in Psychology and a Bachelor's degree in Family Life and Human Development from Southern Utah University in Cedar City. She further pursued her education and obtained a Master's degree in Social Work from Utah State University in Logan, Utah. With her extensive knowledge and compassionate approach, Ashlee is committed to empowering her clients to lead fulfilling and anxiety-free lives.

Do People Pleasers Have Anxiety?

So, do people pleasers have anxiety? Yes, they definitely can.  People pleasers are those who always prioritize others' needs and wants over their own. They tend to put a lot of effort into seeking approval and avoiding conflicts, which can really take a toll on their well-being. It's no surprise that this constant need for approval and fear of disappointing others can lead to a lot of anxiety and stress. Anxiety therapy can help people-pleasers understand themselves and their anxiety better. 

Reasons Why People-Pleasers Experience Anxiety

Fear of rejection

First, there's the fear of rejection. People pleasers have a genuine dread of being disliked or rejected by others. Part of this can be their temperament and personality, and another part of this might be past experiences contributing to the fear of rejection. They'll go to great lengths to avoid any sort of disagreement or conflict, fearing that if they stand up for themselves or express their own needs, they'll face rejection or disapproval. It's a heavy burden to carry, and it fuels their anxiety.

Perfectionism

Then, there's the issue of perfectionism. People pleasers tend to hold themselves to incredibly high standards and strive for perfection in everything they do. Oftentimes, they may not realize they are experiencing perfectionistic tendencies and might not recognize it’s a problem. The constant worry about making mistakes or falling short of others' expectations only ramps up their stress and anxiety levels.

Overcommitment

Overcommitment is another reason people-pleasers experience anxiety. People pleasers often take on way more responsibilities and obligations than they can handle. They struggle to say "no" when asked for help or to set proper boundaries, which ends up overwhelming them and causing even more anxiety as they try to keep up with everyone's expectations. It’s easy to feel resentful when you are spread thin and are saying yes to things you don’t have the emotional capacity for. 

Lack of self-care

Lack of self-care is a problem among people-pleasers. People pleasers are notorious for putting everyone else's needs before their own. They may see more value in taking care of other people and don’t see a need to focus on themselves.  Neglecting self-care and personal well-being can lead to exhaustion, burnout, and a significant increase in anxiety levels.

Struggle with assertiveness

Last but not least, asserting themselves can be a real challenge for people pleasers. They often find it difficult to communicate their own needs and desires assertively. This internal conflict between wanting to please others and taking care of themselves creates tension and anxiety.

Anxiety Therapy in Utah helps with people-pleasing anxiety

Anxiety therapy, also known as anxiety counseling, can be a game-changer for people-pleasers.  Anxiety therapy creates a safe and supportive space for you to dive into the issues that may be part of your people-pleasing tendencies and work through other anxiety symptoms.  Through anxiety treatment, you can understand yourself better and have better coping skills for anxiety where you don’t constantly neglect yourself to care for others. With the support an anxiety therapist, you can understand yourself better, stop people-pleasing so much and feel better about yourself. 

How to Start Working with an Anxiety Therapist in Utah

You can stop focusing on everyone else at your own expense. You can let go of people-pleasing, and anxiety therapy can help. This Utah Counseling Clinic has an anxiety therapist that helps people-pleasers. To begin anxiety treatment follow the steps below: 

1. Schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation 

2. Meet with a therapist for anxiety

3. Start overcoming people-pleasing

About the Author 

Ashlee Hunt, LCSW, is a dedicated anxiety therapist specializing in working with women. She holds a bachelor's degree in Psychology and a bachelor's degree in Family Life and Human Development from Southern Utah University in Cedar City, Utah. With a strong passion for supporting others, Ashlee further pursued her education and earned a Master's degree in Social Work from Utah State University in Logan, Utah. With her expertise and specialized focus on anxiety, Ashlee brings a compassionate and knowledgeable approach to her work, providing valuable support and guidance to women seeking relief from anxiety.

How Does People-Pleasing Affect Your Mental Health?

People-pleasing is the desire to make others happy and avoid conflict. You may have been praised for being a peacemaker and knowing how to avoid contention. People-pleasing can be painted as a positive attribute and seems harmless. However, there’s a hidden cost to your mental health when you ignore your own thoughts, needs, and opinions of other people. You become out of touch with the things that are important to you. You mold yourself to become whatever everyone wants you to be. Don’t you have needs, thoughts, and opinions too? All of this ends up contributing to your anxiety. Anxiety therapy can help with people-pleasing and here are ways your people-pleasing is costing your mental health.

The main characteristic of people-pleasing is a continuous worry about what others think and a deep need for their approval. This constant concern keeps our minds always on edge. Because of this, our body's stress defenses kick in, causing ongoing stress. If this carries on for too long, it can result in severe health problems, both physical and mental, including anxiety disorders among others.

Guilt

People who always try to please others often feel a lot of guilt. They might feel bad when they speak up for themselves, put their own needs first, or even when they take a little time off for themselves. This guilt is always there, adding to their worry and stress. This guilt works in a cycle. They try to make others happy to avoid feeling guilty. But when they can't make others happy or when they choose to do something for themselves, they feel guilty. So, they keep trying to make others happy. It's like a trap that keeps them worried and stressed.

In the end, feeling guilty all the time is like being in a tough tug-of-war. On one side, there's the desire to prioritize yourself.  On the other side, there's the fear of upsetting others. This struggle can cause a lot of distress, making it harder to break free from the cycle of always trying to please others, and adding to their stress and anxiety.

Anxiety

People-pleasing can directly fuel anxiety. The need to always keep others content and to keep the peace can put you on edge, worrying about others' opinions, reactions, and feelings. The fear of making a mistake or disappointing someone is stressful. This unending cycle of worry activates the body's stress response, causing feelings of restlessness, irritability, and difficulty concentrating, which are all common symptoms of anxiety. Over time, this state of anxiety can develop into an anxiety disorder, significantly impacting a person's mental health and overall well-being.

In addition to the constant worry and stress, always trying to make others happy can cause you to neglect your own needs and emotions. This self-neglect can leave you feeling overwhelmed and under a lot of pressure, further adding to your anxiety. You might find yourself overthinking every decision or conversation, fearing that any misstep could upset someone else.

Loneliness

People-pleasing can often cause people to feel very alone. The fear of letting others down or being rejected can make it hard for them to have real, open relationships. They're always hiding their true feelings and desires to avoid arguments or upset, which only makes them feel more worried and alone. Over time, this pattern of hiding their true selves can become a barrier to forming deep, genuine relationships. They might have plenty of people around them, but they still, feel a sense of loneliness because they're not being true to themselves. They're constantly playing a role or wearing a mask, which can lead to a deep feeling of disconnect from others.

Burnout

Always trying to make others happy can make a person feel really tired, both in their body and mind. This is called burnout. Because they're always trying to meet others' needs, people who please others often forget to look after themselves. They might not notice they're getting unwell until they're really worn out and exhausted. For people-pleasers, burnout can happen because they're constantly giving to others without taking time to replenish their own energy. They often ignore the signs of burnout, like feeling exhausted or becoming more irritable, because they're too focused on pleasing others. But ignoring these signs doesn't make them go away. 

Anxiety Therapy in Utah for people-pleasing

Anxiety therapy can be a big help for people who often try to please others. In anxiety counseling, you can learn how to understand and manage your anxiety, as well as address the reasons behind your people-pleasing habits. As an anxiety therapist, I can help you learn how to set healthy boundaries, express your feelings, and prioritize your needs. You can also learn coping strategies to handle stress better and prevent burnout. Through anxiety counseling,  you can work on building your self-esteem and start to understand that your worth is not tied to pleasing others. Over time, anxiety therapy can help you break free from the cycle of people-pleasing, reduce your anxiety, and improve your overall mental health and well-being.

Begin working with an anxiety therapist in Utah

Your job on earth is not to make everyone else happy at your expense. You deserve to prioritize your needs first. Anxiety therapy can help you overcome people-pleasing. This Utah Counseling Center has an anxiety therapist that can help. To begin anxiety treatment follow the steps below: 

1. Schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation 

2. Meet with an anxiety counselor

3. Find freedom from people-pleasing

How Do You Overcome People-Pleasing Anxiety?

Many of us have felt the strong urge to make others happy, even if it means neglecting our own well-being. This tendency, called people-pleasing, can cause anxiety, stress, and a sense of losing ourselves. Once you recognize people-pleasing in yourself, you want to find ways of overcoming it. It’s not an easy process to let go of people-pleasing but anxiety therapy can help. The more you learn about yourself and the reasons for people pleasing, the better able you are to move forward without them. 

The root cause of people-pleasing

To overcome people-pleasing anxiety, it's important to understand why it happens in the first place. Take a moment to think about how you were raised, the culture you grew up in, and the experiences you've had. These things may have influenced you to always seek approval from others, even if it means neglecting your own needs. By understanding these influences, you can start figuring out the patterns that contribute to your anxiety and work towards changing them.

Use Self-awareness 

Developing self-awareness is important for overcoming people-pleasing anxiety. Take some time to think about what you truly want, what values are important to you, and what boundaries you need to set. Pay attention to your emotions and notice when you start feeling the need to make others happy even if it hurts you. By understanding what triggers these feelings and how you respond emotionally, you can start making choices that reflect your true self and prioritize your well-being.

Develop self-compassion

Self-compassion is the practice of being kind to yourself as you work on your goals. It’s not about giving yourself excuses or enabling bad behavior. Self-compassion is about taking care of yourself as you work through overcoming people-pleasing anxiety. Working through people-pleasing is really hard. It might be a new experience to put yourself first and establish healthy boundaries. Treat yourself kindly and understand that you deserve love and respect, no matter what others think. 

Practice Assertiveness

Assertiveness is a powerful skill that can help break the cycle of people-pleasing. It may feel foreign to you when you have used people-pleasing to cope with your anxiousness. Start by practicing clear and honest communication. Learn to express your needs, desires, and opinions in a respectful manner. You might be afraid of rejection or disapproval in the beginning and that’s ok. You have the right to your own thoughts, feelings, and boundaries. It’s ok to have opinions and for those to be heard by others. 

Set Realistic Expectations:

Recognize that you cannot please everyone all the time, and it’s not your job to do so. People are responsible for their own emotions just as you are responsible for managing your anxiety. Accept that you have limits and you are better able to show up in your relationships by taking care of yourself. Shift your focus from needing validation from others. Embrace the fact that your worth does not depend on pleasing others.It is not realistic to believe your purpose on this earth is to make everyone else happy at your own expense. 

Surround Yourself with Supportive People:

You deserve to be in relationships with people that will respect your boundaries and needs. Seek out relationships where your opinions and needs will be honored and heard. Surround yourself with people who support you. Having a strong support system can provide the encouragement you need to challenge your people pleasing. 

Overcoming people-pleasing anxiety will take time, and it will be uncomfortable. It involves thinking more about your own needs, being kind to yourself, and knowing your mental health matters.  By understanding how anxiety contributes to your people-pleasing,  learning to share your own opinions and needs, and practicing saying no,  you can break free from the cycle of people-pleasing and be your true self. Remember, you deserve to live a life that is fulfilling. 

Anxiety Therapy in Utah to overcome people-pleasing anxiety

Anxiety Therapy in Utah is here to help you overcome the anxiety that comes from always trying to please others. Together, we will explore why you feel this way and learn how to stop it. In our safe and supportive sessions, we'll talk about your feelings, thoughts, and beliefs. I will guide you in understanding yourself better and figuring out what you need. 

How to start working with an anxiety therapist in Utah 

Are you ready to reclaim your life from the grips of anxiety and people-pleasing? Anxiety Therapy can help. This Utah Counseling Clinic has an anxiety therapist that can help. To begin anxiety therapy follow the steps below: 

1. Schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation 

2. Meet with a therapist for anxiety

3. Start letting go of people-pleasing

What is the Root Cause of People Pleasing?

Have you ever found yourself constantly going above and beyond to please others, even at the expense of your own well-being? You might sruggle with people-pleasing.  It's a common struggle many people face and it can leave you feeling anxious and overwhelmed. But have you ever wondered why we have this strong urge to please others? What lies beneath the surface, driving this behavior?  Everyone has unique experiences and reasons for their people- pleasing. However, one of the areas I would like to focus on is how anxiety is one of the root causes, and how anxiety therapy can help people pleasing. 

Anxiety and people-pleasing

Anxiety often lies at the core of people-pleasing tendencies. Anxiety’s main job is to alert us to potential dangers. However, in social situations, anxiety can make us choose the easiest path to avoid discomfort. If you are a people-pleaser, you may sacrifice your own needs and conform to what others want, all in an attempt to reduce the risk of rejection, criticism or potential conflict.  People-pleasing provides temporary relief from anxiety and a sense of safety, but it comes at a cost. You end up neglecting your own needs, suppressing who you truly are, and it impacts your self-esteem.  Recognizing this connection between anxiety and people-pleasing is crucial for breaking free from this cycle. 

Reasons for people-pleasing:

Everyone has their own reasons for people pleasing. These are a few examples of people-pleasing related to anxiety.

Fear of Rejection

The fear of rejection is a significant driver of people-pleasing. Many people-pleasers feel anxious at the thought of someone being upset with them. To avoid conflict, they go to great lengths to keep everyone happy, even overextending themselves. They put their own needs and wishes aside to keep the peace or to be accepted by others. This fear of rejection reinforces the belief that worth depends on pleasing others, making the cycle of anxiety and people-pleasing worse.

Sensitivity to Anxiety

Some people not only fear rejection but also are more sensitive to anxiety itself. The worry and discomfort that come with anxiety can make the cycle of people-pleasing even stronger. The fear of experiencing anxiety can push them to go above and beyond to avoid any uncomfortable feelings, which further perpetuates the pattern of people-pleasing. 

Need for Validation

Everyone needs to feel seen and validated. For those that experience people-pleasing, the need for validation might be even strong. When efforts to please others don't result in the desired approval or recognition, it can be disheartening and exacerbate their anxiety. This disappointment pushes them to work even harder to gain validation. 

Worry about the future

Worrying about the future is a common struggle for people-pleasers, causing considerable anxiety. Constantly anticipating situations where they might let someone down or fail to meet expectations can be overwhelming. This worry about the future keeps them trapped in a cycle of striving to please others, often going above and beyond what is reasonable or healthy.

Trauma and people-pleasing

I think of anxiety as a symptom of something greater. Past trauma or painful experiences can have a strong influence on anxiety and people-pleasing tendencies. These people-pleasing tendencies have also become ways to control anxiety in these situations.  When someone has been through difficult or traumatic events, it can shape how they behave and think. These experiences can make them extra sensitive to potential harm, conflict, rejection, or being left alone. Their past painful experiences may have taught them that if they are compliant or do what others somehow makes it easier. 

To cope with the impact of their past trauma, you may feel a strong urge to please others. You constantly strive to keep everyone happy, avoid arguments, and put others' needs ahead of their own. By doing so, they try to create a sense of safety and control in their environment.

Anxiety Therapy in Utah for people pleasing

If you have found you put others’ needs above your own as a way of dealing with anxiety, know that you are not alone. Many of the women I work with feel the same way. It’s possible to change these patterns through anxiety counseling. Anxiety therapy offers a way to work through all of these struggles.  As an anxiety therapist, I help unravel the links between anxiety and people-pleasing. Together, we work towards ways of coping that suit you best, enabling you to manage situations without the burden of excessive people-pleasing.

Start working with an anxiety therapist in Utah

 Ready to break free from the cycle of people-pleasing and anxiety? Don't let anxiety hold you back any longer. Anxiety therapy can help. This Utah Counseling Clinic has an anxiety therapist who specializes in helping people-pleasing. To begin anxiety treatment follow the steps below: 

1. Schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation 

2. Meet with a therapist for anxiety

3. Find relief from people pleasing

The Complete Guide to Overcoming Perfectionism

As an anxiety therapist, I know firsthand how perfectionism and anxiety can be closely linked, creating a sense of constant pressure to achieve unrealistic standards. If you're reading this, you might be struggling with perfectionism and looking for ways to cope. You might feel like you're always falling short or you're worried about what might happen if you make a mistake. That's ok, and I want you to know that anxiety therapy can help. In this guide, we will explore what perfectionism is, why it's often connected with anxiety, and how you can learn to manage it. Remember, overcoming perfectionism is a journey, and while it may be challenging, it is certainly possible. 

Can you overcome perfectionism?

Absolutely, you can overcome perfectionism. I understand that it can be challenging, especially if you're always aiming to get things just right. But remember, nobody is perfect. That's part of being human. One of the first steps to overcoming perfectionism is realizing that it's okay to make mistakes. Mistakes are how we learn and grow. It's not about never failing. Another important thing is to start setting realistic goals. It's okay if you can't accomplish everything at the highest level all the time. Focus more on progress rather than flawlessness. Try not to compare yourself with others. Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses. You don’t have to be good at everything. Overcoming perfectionism can take time and it's okay to seek help. You might find it useful to talk to an anxiety therapist, who can provide you with ideas and tools to manage your perfectionism.

Perfectionism and anxiety are often linked. When we talk about perfectionism, it refers to setting really high goals for oneself and feeling a lot of pressure to reach them. This endless chase for perfection can lead to increased anxiety. Anxiety therapy can be a helpful tool in managing perfectionism.

What does it mean to be a perfectionist?

If you're a perfectionist, you might often worry about making mistakes or fear being criticized. You might like being in control a lot. As an anxiety therapist, I see that this type of thinking can lead to a constant feeling of worry and discomfort. The fear of not meeting your own standards can be scary and make you feel anxious, stressed, and sometimes, stuck because of the fear of failing.

Being a perfectionist can also make you criticize yourself a lot. If you always hold yourself to incredibly high standards, you might always find problems in what you do or how capable you are. This can make you feel a lot of anxiety because you feel like you never do well enough. This isn't good for your mental health. It's key to remember that perfectionism can look different for everyone. Some people might want to be perfect in their jobs or school, while others might focus on how they look, their friendships, or other parts of their life. No matter what, the underlying worry and pressure to be perfect are the same.

Is perfectionism linked to anxiety?

Sometimes, people use perfectionism as a way to manage their anxiety. Even though it might not seem to make sense, some people think that if they strive for perfection, they can feel more in control of their anxiety and reduce the chance of anything bad happening. Here are some ways people might use perfectionism to cope:

Control

People who are perfectionists might think that if they can control everything in their life, they can reduce the things that make them anxious. They might try to control their surroundings, their relationships, or even their own thoughts to feel more secure.

Avoiding Failure or Criticism

Perfectionists might think that if they are perfect or get lots of compliments, they can avoid being judged, criticized, or rejected. They might see mistakes as personal failures, which can make their anxiety worse. By trying to be perfect, they hope to avoid these negative things.

Looking for Validation

Perfectionists often depend on approval from others to feel good about themselves. They might think that if they can reach really high standards, others will admire them. This can temporarily make their anxiety better.

Reducing Uncertainty

Perfectionists might plan a lot, prepare a lot, or check things over and over to reduce the uncertainty that makes them anxious. They might feel like they have to check their work again and again, ask for reassurance, or do a lot of research to make sure everything is perfect, leaving no chance for mistakes or surprises.

What is the root cause of perfectionism?

Perfectionism is something that many people, especially women I work with, struggle with. It comes from a strong want to be flawless and a big fear of failing. But what causes this ongoing chase for perfection? As an anxiety therapist, I believe that by understanding the link between anxiety symptoms and perfectionism, you can understand yourself better and find improved ways to manage anxiety.

Anxiety often is a main cause of perfectionism. Here are some ways that anxiety leads to trying to be perfect:

• Fear of Failing and Being Criticized

Anxiety stirs up a deep fear of making mistakes or being seen in a bad light by others. Perfectionists often think that any failure or flaw will lead to rejection, embarrassment, disappointment, or judgment from others. Because of this, they try to be perfect to avoid or reduce these fears. Anxiety treatment can help you understand where this fear of judgment comes from.

• Need for Control and Certainty

Anxiety is often driven by a need for control and a wish to avoid things that are uncertain. Perfectionists, pushed by their anxieties, want to control their environment, actions, and outcomes. They think that if they can be perfect, they can prevent potential symptoms of anxiety and use control to help deal with their anxiety.

• Catastrophic Thinking and Biased Thinking

Anxiety often leads to distorted and catastrophic thinking. Perfectionists tend to think in an all-or-nothing way, seeing situations as either perfect or total failures with no in-between. They may also make a big deal out of their mistakes, using one error as proof that they're not capable or not good enough. These incorrect thoughts increase anxiety and make perfectionistic behaviors worse. Working with an anxiety therapist can help you change how you think and how you view yourself.

• Unrealistic Standards and Self-Criticism

Perfectionists driven by anxiety set really high standards for themselves. They always try to meet or exceed these standards because they're afraid of falling short. The fear of making a mistake or being judged harshly by others makes them criticize themselves more, reinforcing the belief that they must be perfect. When people go to anxiety counseling, they learn where these unrealistic standards come from and find ways to be nicer to themselves.

• Anxious Thoughts About Outcomes

Anxiety can make people worry more about potential negative outcomes. Perfectionists often overthink and plan excessively to prevent mistakes or prepare for every possible outcome. They worry about the future a lot, always thinking about what could happen if they're not perfect. Anxiety therapy can help you manage your anxiety and fear of outcomes in a better way.

How Do You Calm Perfectionism Anxiety?

Striving for perfection can feel like walking a tightrope. While it's good to aim high and hold yourself to high standards, it can also create a lot of stress and worry. To lessen this kind of anxiety, we have to change the way we think and learn better coping skills. It's important to remember that being perfect is impossible and making mistakes is a part of growing. By learning to accept flaws, people can start to ease the pressure they put on themselves.

It's not a quick process to overcome perfectionism, so remember to be patient with yourself. Here are some tips that might help:

• Create achievable goals: Perfectionists often set unreachable standards. It's important to set realistic goals and remember that perfection isn't always possible. Instead of aiming for perfection, focus on making progress and improving.

• Challenge negative thoughts: Perfectionism can lead to unrealistic thoughts and beliefs. Remember, your thoughts are not always facts. Learn to recognize and challenge these thoughts. Ask yourself if they are based on reality or if they are distorted by perfectionism. Replace negative self-talk with more positive and realistic messages.

• Learn from mistakes: Perfectionists often fear mistakes. Recognize that making mistakes is a part of learning and growing. Use mistakes as opportunities to improve.

• Be kind to yourself: Learn to practice self-compassion. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would give to a friend. Everyone has limitations and makes mistakes, and that's okay.

• Break big tasks into smaller ones: Perfectionists can feel overwhelmed by big tasks, causing stress or procrastination. Breaking down larger tasks into smaller, manageable steps can help. Focus on completing one step at a time and celebrate your progress.

• Make self-care a priority: Do things that help you relax and reduce stress. Take breaks when needed, practice deep breathing, get regular exercise, and make sure to get enough sleep and eat a balanced diet. Looking after your overall health can help lessen anxiety.

• Challenge perfectionism directly: Spend time on activities where it's okay not to be perfect, like drawing or writing. Slowly expose yourself to situations where things won't be perfect, and learn how to deal with any anxiety that comes up.

• Consider anxiety therapy: If you need it, I am an anxiety therapist who can help. I can help you understand why you strive for perfection and give you ways to manage anxiety. I can offer strategies specifically tailored to you and your experience with anxiety.

What is the best therapy for perfectionism? 

When you're struggling with trying to be perfect all the time, finding the right kind of help can make a big difference. There are two types of therapy that are really good at helping with this. They're called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR). As a therapist, I've seen how much these can help people.

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is all about helping you become more flexible in your thinking and to lead a life that is in line with what's most important to you. The idea behind ACT is that when we try to avoid or control our unwanted thoughts or feelings, it can cause us to suffer. ACT helps you to accept these thoughts and feelings as normal and to focus on taking action that aligns with your values.

There are several key parts to ACT:

• Acceptance: This means accepting your thoughts, feelings, and experiences without judgment or trying to change them.

• Cognitive Defusion: This is about learning to see thoughts as just thoughts, rather than facts. This can help you separate from thoughts that are not helpful or are self-critical.

• Mindfulness: Mindfulness is about paying attention to the present moment in a non-judgmental way. This can help you respond better to challenging thoughts and feelings.

• Values Clarification: This is about identifying what's most important to you in your life. By aligning your actions with these values, you can make choices that are meaningful to you, rather than being driven by fear of failure or a need to be perfect.

• Committed Action: This is about taking action that aligns with your values, even when you're dealing with uncomfortable thoughts or feelings.

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is another type of therapy that can be very helpful. It was first developed to help with trauma, but it can also help with perfectionism, especially if it's rooted in past experiences or memories.

EMDR can help you deal with experiences that contribute to your need for control, fear of failure, or self-critical thoughts. By working on these memories, EMDR helps to reduce strong emotions and changes negative beliefs about yourself.

EMDR can also address negative beliefs about yourself that fuel perfectionism, such as "I am not good enough" or "I must be perfect to be valued." Through this process, you can develop more self-compassion, self-acceptance, and healthier standards for yourself.

It's important to remember that EMDR should be done with a therapist, as it involves working through potentially distressing memories. An anxiety therapist can provide a safe and supportive space to help you navigate these emotions.

Anxiety therapy in Utah can help you overcome perfectionism

As an anxiety therapist, I understand that perfectionism can often feel like a heavy weight, making every task seem challenging. If you're in Utah and grappling with this, know that help is available. Anxiety therapy can provide you with the tools to navigate through your perfectionistic tendencies, helping you to set more realistic expectations for yourself, and learn to embrace imperfections. By reaching out to an anxiety therapist in Utah, you're taking an important step in overcoming perfectionism, and towards a healthier, more balanced life.

How to begin working with an anxiety therapist in Utah

You don’t have to keep trying to do this alone. You deserve help from someone who gets it and know how to help you. To begin anxiety treatment follow the steps below: 

1. Schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation 

2. Meet with a therapist for anxiety

3. Start feeling better

What is the Best Therapy for Perfectionism?

Finding the right anxiety therapy for perfectionism anxiety is important when you are struggling with perfectionism. Two effective therapy approaches for perfectionism are Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR). ACT focuses on accepting internal experiences, challenging unhelpful thoughts, and aligning actions with personal values, while EMDR targets distressing memories to reduce their negative impact. As an anxiety therapist, I know how both ACT and EMDR can be helpful to perfectionists.

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) for Perfectionism Anxiety

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is a therapeutic approach that aims to help people develop psychological flexibility and lead a more values-driven life. ACT is grounded in the belief that suffering arises from the struggle to avoid or control unwanted thoughts, emotions, and experiences. It encourages you to accept these internal experiences as a normal part of being human and to focus on taking committed action toward what truly matters to you

ACT incorporates several key components:

• Acceptance:

  ACT emphasizes accepting one's thoughts, feelings, and sensations without judgment or attempts to change or suppress them. This acceptance allows you to make room for these experiences and let them come and go without becoming entangled in them.

• Cognitive Defusion:

  Cognitive defusion involves learning to observe thoughts as mental events rather than facts. By recognizing that thoughts are not necessarily accurate or true, you can create distance from unhelpful or self-critical thoughts associated with perfectionism.

• Mindfulness:

  Mindfulness practices are central to ACT. Mindfulness involves intentionally bringing your attention to the present moment with openness, curiosity, and non-judgment. It helps you cultivate awareness of their internal experiences, allowing them to respond more flexibly to challenging perfectionistic thoughts and anxiety.

• Values Clarification:

  ACT focuses on identifying and clarifying personal values—the qualities and behaviors that you deem important and meaningful in your life. By aligning actions with these values, you can make choices that are consistent with their core principles and move toward a more fulfilling life rather than a fear of failure or the need to be flawless. 

• Committed Action:

  ACT encourages you to take meaningful action guided by your values, even in the presence of uncomfortable thoughts and feelings including anxiety. This involves setting goals and engaging in behaviors that reflect personal values, regardless of perfectionistic tendencies or anxiety.

EMDR Therapy for Perfectionism Anxiety

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy is a specialized therapeutic approach that was initially developed to address a traumatic event.  However, it can also be helpful in addressing perfectionism, particularly when perfectionistic tendencies are rooted in past experiences, traumatic events, or painful memories. 

EMDR therapy focuses on the reprocessing of distressing memories and experiences to reduce their negative impact on your present thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. The underlying idea is that unresolved or unprocessed memories contribute to the development of unhealthy ways of coping such as perfectionistic tendencies. 

During an EMDR session, the anxiety therapist guides you in recalling specific distressing memories while simultaneously engaging in bilateral stimulation, which can involve eye movements, taps, or sounds. This bilateral stimulation is needed in order to do deep processing of the memory, allowing it to be integrated in a more helpful and less distressing way.

For perfectionism, EMDR can help you identify and process underlying traumatic or painful experiences that contribute to your excessive need for control, fear of failure, or self-critical thoughts. By targeting these memories, EMDR therapy works to reduce the strong emotions that come up and changes the negative beliefs about yourself. 

EMDR therapy can also address negative self-beliefs that fuel perfectionism, such as "I am not good enough" or "I must be perfect to be valued." By reprocessing these beliefs, you can develop more self-compassion, self-acceptance, and healthier standards for yourself. It's important to note that EMDR therapy is typically conducted by a therapist as it involves working through potentially distressing memories. An anxiety therapist or EMDR therapist can create a safe and supportive space to guide you through the reprocessing process and help you navigate the emotions that come up. 

Overcoming Perfectionism

Perfectionism can feel overwhelming, but breaking free from it is possible. The first step is recognizing the rigid thought patterns that keep you stuck in this cycle, especially the belief that your worth depends on how much you achieve.

Therapy for perfectionism can help you develop self-compassion, accept making mistakes is a part of being human and growing, and set realistic expectations. When you shift your focus from “being perfect” to “making progress,” you’ll likely feel less anxiety and more self-acceptance. Over time, you can build healthier, more sustainable habits that support both your mental health. 

A big part of overcoming perfectionism is learning to sit with discomfort and uncertainty. Many perfectionists fear failure so much that they procrastinate or avoid challenges altogether. A goal of therapy for perfectionism is to understand that making mistakes doesn’t mean you’re failing and it’s ok not to be perfect. 

You can move away from having unrealistic expectations for yourself.  Flexibility allows you to make progress without the constant pressure of perfection. You can learn to release unrealistic expectations through therapy and practice, you will find you have less anxiety about not being perfect. 

How Toxic Perfectionism Makes It Hard to Seek Help

One of the biggest struggles with toxic perfectionism is that it convinces you that you should be able to handle everything on your own. Admitting you need support can feel like a failure, even when you're completely exhausted from the pressure of having it all together. Toxic perfectionism keeps you trapped in an endless cycle of self-criticism, where nothing ever feels "good enough"—not even your healing. But anxiety therapy isn’t about lowering your standards or giving up on growth. It’s about learning how to exist without the constant fear of failing, so you can move through life with more freedom, self-compassion, and peace.

Anxiety therapy in Utah can help perfectionists 

Anxiety therapy in Utah can be really helpful for perfectionists. In anxiety therapy, you get a safe and supportive space to talk about your perfectionism and anxiety. An anxiety therapist can help you understand why you feel the need to be perfect and teach you ways to manage your anxiety symptoms. You can learn to set realistic goals, challenge negative thoughts, and be kinder to yourself. Anxiety treatment can teach you to accept mistakes, take care of yourself, and find ways to calm your anxiety. With the help of an anxiety counselor, you can learn to feel better and be happier with who you are.

Start working with an anxiety therapist in Utah 

Ready to find relief from anxiety and perfectionism? Take the first step towards a happier and healthier life by scheduling an appointment with an anxiety therapist today. Don't let anxiety hold you back—reach out to an anxiety counselor and start your journey towards a more fulfilling life. To begin anxiety therapy follow these steps: 

1. Schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation 

2. Meet with a therapist for anxiety

3. Find relief from perfectionism 

How Do You Calm Perfectionism Anxiety?

Perfectionism can be a double-edged sword. While striving for excellence and high standards can be admirable, it can also lead to overwhelming anxiety and self-criticism. Calming perfectionism anxiety requires a shift in mindset and adopting healthier coping strategies. By recognizing that perfection is unattainable and embracing imperfection as part of the learning process, individuals can find relief from the burdens of constant self-judgment. Through setting realistic expectations, challenging negative thoughts, practicing self-compassion, breaking tasks into smaller steps, prioritizing self-care, challenging perfectionistic behaviors, and seeking anxiety therapy when needed, it becomes possible to calm the anxiety symptoms associated with perfectionism.

Overcoming perfectionism is a process that takes time and practice. Be patient with yourself.  Coping with perfectionism anxiety can be challenging, but there are several strategies you can try to help calm your mind and reduce the negative impact of perfectionism. Here are some ideas that may be helpful:

1. Set realistic expectations

Perfectionists often set unattainable standards for themselves. Practice setting realistic goals and accepting that perfection is not always achievable. Focus on progress and improvement rather than demanding flawlessness.

2. Challenge your negative thoughts

Perfectionism is often fueled by irrational thoughts and beliefs. Remember thoughts are not facts and that means they aren’t necessarily true.  Learn to identify and challenge these thoughts by asking yourself if they are based on facts or if they are distorted by perfectionistic thinking. Replace negative self-talk with more realistic and positive statements.

3. Embrace mistakes and failures

Perfectionists tend to fear mistakes and failure. Recognize that making mistakes is a natural part of learning and growth. Embrace failures as valuable opportunities for personal development. Learn from them and use them as stepping stones toward improvement.

4. Practice self-compassion

Be kind to yourself and cultivate self-compassion. Treat yourself with the same understanding and support you would offer to a friend. Remember that nobody is perfect, and it's okay to have limitations and make mistakes. 

5. Break tasks into smaller steps

Perfectionists often feel overwhelmed by the magnitude of a task, leading to procrastination or anxiety. Break down larger tasks into smaller, manageable steps. Focus on completing one step at a time, celebrating your progress along the way.

6. Prioritize self-care

Engage in activities that promote relaxation and stress reduction. Take breaks when needed, practice deep breathing exercises, engage in physical activity, and make sure to get enough sleep and maintain a balanced diet. Taking care of your overall well-being can help alleviate perfectionism anxiety.

7. Challenge perfectionistic behaviors

Engage in behaviors that challenge perfectionism directly. Set aside time for activities where you intentionally allow imperfection, such as drawing, painting, or writing without aiming for perfection. Gradually expose yourself to situations where you can practice accepting less-than-perfect outcomes, and use coping skills to deal with anxiety as it comes up. 

8. Seek anxiety treatment

Consider talking to an anxiety therapist or anxiety counselor who can help you explore the underlying causes of your perfectionism and provide guidance on managing anxiety. They can offer tailored strategies and techniques to address your individual experience with anxiety. 

The Weight of Toxic Perfectionism

Perfectionism isn’t just about wanting to do well. Toxic perfection is the constant pressure to be flawless, no matter the cost. Toxic perfectionism takes this even further, making it feel like every mistake is a failure and every success is never quite enough. It keeps your nervous system activating and working hard, fueling anxiety and self-doubt, because the fear of not measuring up won’t go away. You might find yourself overthinking every decision, replaying conversations in your head, or avoiding things altogether just to escape the possibility of failing. But perfection isn’t the solution to anxiety, it’s part of what keeps the anxiety cycle going. Anxiety therapy can help you step out of this cycle and learn how to move forward without the weight of impossible expectations.

Overcoming Perfectionism

Perfectionism and anxiety often go hand in hand, creating a cycle of self-doubt, avoidance, and overwhelming pressure. The good news is that overcoming perfectionism doesn’t mean lowering your standards—it means shifting from impossible expectations to a more flexible, self-compassionate mindset. Instead of measuring your worth by how flawlessly you perform, therapy for perfectionism can help you recognize how focusing on self-compassion and progress is more helpful than setting high standards. 

A key part of this process is learning to tolerate discomfort and uncertainty. Perfectionists often procrastinate or avoid challenges out of fear of failure, but mistakes aren’t proof that you’re not good enough and therapy for perfectionism can help you recognize this.  When you permit yourself to be imperfect, you create space for so many more positive things and most of all less anxiety.. Therapy for perfectionism can help you break free from perfectionistic patterns and build a healthier relationship with yourself.

Anxiety therapy in Utah can help calm perfectionism anxiety

Anxiety therapy in Utah can be beneficial for women struggling with perfectionism. Anxiety therapy sessions provide a safe and supportive place where you can talk about your struggle with perfectionism and how it relates to anxiety.  An anxiety counselor can help you understand the root causes of your perfectionism and teach you ways to manage it. Anxiety treatment can help you in setting realistic goals, challenge negative thoughts, and practice self-compassion. Through anxiety therapy, you can learn to embrace mistakes and develop healthier ways of thinking and coping with anxiety. Remember, anxiety therapy is a process that takes time, but it can be a valuable tool in finding relief from perfectionism-related anxiety.

Begin meeting with an anxiety therapist in Utah

You don’t have to deal with your perfectionism anxiety alone. Anxiety therapy can help. This Utah Counseling Clinic has an anxiety therapist that specializes in treating perfectionism. To begin anxiety treatment follow the steps below: 

1. Schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation 

2. Meet with a therapist for anxiety

3. Break away from perfectionism