How Do I Know If I Need to Go to Therapy?

A black woman sitting across from a therapist. This represents how Maple Canyon Therapy provides anxiety therapy, eating disorder therapy, and binge eating disorder treatment in Utah and through online therapy in Utah.

Reaching out for help and deciding to go to therapy is a difficult decision to make. Often times when I meet my clients for the first time they are feeling anxious about being there in therapy. My clients don’t know what to expect and even have the fear that I as their therapist, will think they don’t need therapy or just the opposite that they are too much to handle. 

I totally understand the fear that a therapist will dismiss your problems as insignificant or share confusion on why you thought you needed therapy in the first place. I want you to know I’ve been in practice for almost a decade, and not even once has that thought crossed my mind with a client. Never have I had a client sit in front of me, and I have considered that they didn’t actually need or deserve to be there in therapy. If you want help and to improve your life, you deserve to be in therapy. 

There are other signs or symptoms you may experience in your life that might show you could benefit from attending therapy. I would like to share with you some but not all of what those may be. 

You want to go to therapy 

First a foremost if you want to go to therapy, you should go to therapy. People that voluntarily want to go to therapy and are willing to do whatever it takes to get feeling better are the ones that benefit the most from therapy. If you’ve ever been curious about therapy and wondered if it’s for you, it probably is. Therapy is for everyone. Therapy doesn’t mean you are crazy or mentally unstable. Therapy can be helpful for anyone at different stages of their lives. It’s easy to talk ourselves out of getting help or think what you are struggling with isn’t bad enough but honestly, it's better to get help before it gets too bad or overwhelming. 

You are interested in improving your life

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I may be biased but I believe one of the best tools for improving your life is therapy. Self-help books are great and I recommend them with the therapy process but it’s hard to work on things all on your own. Therapy allows you to have a third party share their perspective on your life and blind spots you may be missing. It’s an opportunity for you to heal from past experiences and negative beliefs that you may not even realize are impacting your life. It’s easy to tell ourselves that we are over past experiences and they don’t impact us anymore but that’s not always true. Regardless, I believe those I work with deserve to have the best life they possibly can without the past hanging over their heads. 

You want to improve your relationships 

It is sometimes surprising to people that individual therapy can have a big fat impact on our relationships for the better. I am not a couples therapist but I see it all the time that as my clients work through their past and trauma they have better relationships with their partners and family members. When they are feeling better about themselves and their lives, they have more room and opportunities to connect with loved ones. My clients also don’t always realize how much of their past experiences carry over into how they respond in their present relationships. Even when you know your relationship needs the help of a couples of therapist, it still greatly benefits you also to be working on yourself as an individual. 

You find it difficult to cope with symptoms of anxiety

Two women sitting beside each other on a couch. This represents how Maple Canyon Therapy provides EMDR Therapy for eating disorders, online anxiety therapy, and trauma therapy in Utah. .

It’s a struggle when life suddenly feels more difficult than it used to. Sometimes it’s confusing why the way you used to deal with stress doesn’t work anymore. My clients have shared confusion in the past on why things that happened a long time ago that haven’t bothered them in a long time are suddenly bothering them again. It’s hard when life surprises you with new challenges. This is pretty normal for the women I work with and for those that have experienced trauma without realizing it was trauma. Therapy can help you work through the things that are bothering you and find new ways to cope with stress. 

You’re going through a hard time

There are many difficult things to go through as a human. You may have experienced the death of someone you love, stress at work, or a strained relationship with a family member or friend, and you may feel more anxious and sad. All of these are hard things to cope with on your own. Seeing a therapist can make a big difference if you are going through a hard time. Sometimes it even helps to say what you are struggling with and have a trained therapist help you through it. I truly wish everyone could go to therapy or give it a try if they have the financial means to do so. It’s surprising how much it makes a difference in your life. If you are thinking about going to therapy, I hope you'll take the risk and try it. When you find a good therapist that knows how to treat what you are struggling with it can be absolutely life-changing. 

Looking for anxiety therapy near Provo, Utah

You don’t have to keep dealing with feelings of anxiousness. Anxiety therapy can help your life feel more manageable. This Provo Utah area counseling clinic has an anxiety therapist specializing in anxiety treatment. To begin anxiety therapy, follow the steps below:

  1. Schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation

  2. Complete online forms and schedule the first session with a therapist for anxiety

  3. Begin therapy

Other mental health services provided near Provo, Utah

Anxiety therapy isn’t the only therapy service provided at this Northern Utah Counseling Clinic. Other mental health services provided by Maple Canyon Therapy include trauma therapy, eating disorder therapy, birth trauma therapy, body image therapy, and binge eating disorder treatment in Utah.

about the author

Ashlee Hunt is a licensed clinical social worker and owner of Maple Canyon Therapy in Utah County. Ashlee has a bachelor's degree in psychology and a bachelor’s in family life and human development from Utah State University. She received a master’s degree in social work from Utah State University. Ashlee enjoys working with women with high-functioning anxiety who are willing to do whatever it takes to feel better. She helps women with social anxiety, performance anxiety, and dating anxiety. When Ashlee isn’t in therapy, she is probably playing fetch with her Goldendoodle at the Spanish Fork Dog Park.

Other blog posts from Maple Canyon Therapy you might find helpful :

4 Misconceptions About Therapists

You and I can be real with each other right? Sometimes being a therapist is a hard job but maybe not how you would think. People assume that it’s hard to hear people’s painful stories all day. That’s not hard for me. It’s an honor to be able to be considered safe enough for people to share that with. I love nothing more than to be able to extend compassion and help people heal from the worst experiences of their lives. The challenge sometimes is actually the misconceptions that therapists receive and because I am a therapist I get lumped into that. Part of the reason therapy is effective is because you don’t know everything about your therapist and while I would not change that sometimes it leads to misconceptions. 

Therapists just want to convince you that there's something wrong with you. 

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Woof. Worst one ever. That’s actually the opposite of being true. Part of the reason I don’t take insurance is that they require you to have a diagnosis aka something wrong with you. I don’t think it’s fair to my clients. There’s a reason diagnoses are created and used but sometimes they aren’t helpful. I do talk with my clients especially the ones with eating disorders who are struggling to see the significance of their behavior about a diagnosis but I never want my clients to feel like there’s something wrong with them or that there is no hope of getting better. It’s not accurate at all and it’s not helpful. It’s also not my approach at all. Therapy is not only for mental illness. It’s for everyone. 

Therapists blame your family or childhood for your problems. 

This one is a real struggle for me because there is a lot of truth that our histories impact our present beliefs about ourselves and the world. There’s just no way around that being the truth. It’s a principle we experience all around in the world we live in. Cause and effect is a real principle. However, the goal of a therapist is not to blame the people you love and care about especially when the people in your life were doing their best in how they raised you. In therapy, we do make connections of when things started or what they are rooted in but the goal is not to blame or confront anyone for that but to find a way to heal from it while cultivating the type of relationship you want with family and friends. 

Therapists will convince you to leave your religion or church

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I mean I can’t speak for all therapists on any of these honestly but for me no way dude. There’s not a chance I will ever tell you what to do with your spiritual or religious beliefs. It’s my job to help you identify your values and how to get your actions to line up with them so you can have a happier fulfilled life. There is absolutely no room anywhere in my heart to take away what is important to someone or to persuade them to abandon what’s important to them. I’m just not here for that. My personal values and beliefs have nothing to do with yours. I own mine and would never let them influence yours. 

Therapists will fill your head with crazy ideas

If you think this is me, then you are giving me way more credit than I deserve. You wanna know what my clients talk about in sessions: emotions, coping skills, how to be nice to themselves, ways to work through trauma, and if we are feeling really crazy, talk about restaurants we like to eat at. Again, I can’t speak for all therapists, but I think there is some room to challenge the fact that therapists have wild agendas and want to persuade you to do things that have no impact on our lives. I am here for you, and that’s it. I want you to be happy, healthy, and safe, and want to provide you with research tools that have already been proven to help you get there. 

Finding a therapist that meets your needs is important. Not every therapist is going to be the right fit but when you do find the right therapist for you, it can make a big difference. It’s important to be able to challenge these myths and misconceptions you might have about therapists in order to get the help that you deserve. Therapists aren’t here to persuade you of anything, blame your family, make you think you’re flawed, or be critical of your beliefs. 

Looking for an anxiety therapist and located in Utah?

If you are struggling with anxiety and worry and feel like it’s taking over your life, therapy can help. You don’t have to live that way, and you can find relief from the knots in your stomach. This Utah County counseling clinic has an anxiety therapist specializing in anxiety treatment that can help. To begin counseling, follow the steps below:

A leather couch with a pillow on it. This represents how Maple Canyon Therapy provides online eating disorder therapy, and treatment for binge eating disorder in Utah.
  1. Schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation

  2. Meet with a therapist for anxiety

  3. Begin feeling better

Online Therapy in Utah

I know it’s hard to navigate your busy schedule, and maybe you don’t feel like you deserve to do something for yourself, like therapy. You deserve help and focus on your needs, and I want to make it convenient for you by offering online therapy in Utah. Online therapy is convenient, secure, and just as effective as in-person therapy.

Online counseling allows me to work with you if you are in Logan, Salt Lake City, St. George, Cedar City, Heber, and more.

Other mental health services at Maple Canyon Therapy

Anxiety therapy isn’t the only counseling service provided at this Northern Utah Counseling Center. Other mental services that Maple Canyon Therapy provides are eating disorder therapy, body image therapy, binge eating disorder treatment, trauma therapy, and birth trauma therapy in Utah.

About the Author

Ashlee Hunt is a licensed clinical social worker and owner of Maple Canyon Therapy in Northern Utah. She has a bachelor’s degree in psychology and a bachelor’s degree in family life and human development from Southern Utah University. Ashlee has a master’s degree in social work from Utah State University. She has been practicing therapy for nearly a decade and enjoys working with women with anxiety to help them finally have peace. She helps women with high-functioning anxiety, dating anxiety, performance anxiety, and social anxiety. When Ashlee isn’t doing therapy, she enjoys spending time with her Goldendoodles who enjoy walks on the Spanish Fork River Trail.

Other blog posts or resources you may find helpful

Body Image Issues: 4 Ways to Cope 

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You and I have talked about before how it seems like warmer weather brings on bad body image. For some people, it is easier to hide in layers of clothing that are cozy and comfortable, and when the weather warms up, the layers have to be shed. The women I work with often want to hide their bodies and when temperatures spike it feels like they have no choice but to expose more of themselves than they want to. I get it. I imagine it’s difficult to be in this struggle and in your own skin. There’s nothing wrong with you for feeling the way you do. 

Body image issues are a struggle for the majority of women. It’s a sad truth, and I wish it weren’t that way, but it is. It’s hard not to struggle with body image when we live in a world that is obsessed with women’s bodies being thin, sculpted, and beautiful. I’m sure you have your own experiences personally where perhaps someone in your life made comments about your body and appearance that made you realize you should be worried about what you look like. These are challenging experiences to let go of.  Much of the media that we experience is filtered images of women that don’t even look the way we think they do.

Dealing with body image issues is hard

A black woman smiling and blowing bubbles. This represents how at Maple Canyon Therapy, a therapist for anxiety provides a health at every size approach to eating disorder therapy and binge eating disorder in Utah.

We also don’t have many people out there preaching body positivity and radical acceptance of your body. It’s still an unpopular movement to think of all bodies as good bodies that don’t need to be altered or shrunk. Unfortunately, many women attempt to improve their body image by losing weight or changing their image. You may be surprised to know that body image is contingent upon your weight, the size of your jeans, or the color of your hair. Changing all of that isn’t going to make a long-term difference in how you feel about your body. There are other ways to manage body image.

Before I give you some tips on how to cope with your body image, I want to tell you that you don’t have to feel guilty or stupid because you don’t like your body. I know when we open up about how we think about our appearance, loved ones might dismiss these emotions or even make us feel bad for feeling that way. You don’t need to feel embarrassed or ashamed because this is your struggle. You are already struggling enough and don’t need to feel worse. Let’s talk about what might help you feel better. 

Ways to cope with body image issues:

There are ways to help you deal with body image issues and not have to think about what your body looks like all the time. Here are some suggestions on ways to cope with body image:

Stop looking in the mirror 

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Be honest with yourself about how long you are spending looking at yourself in the mirror, checking your appearance, or making sure your clothes aren’t showing too much. There is no moral value in you using a mirror at all BUT there’s a good chance that you are feeling terrible about yourself the more you body check in the mirror. It’s fine to use a mirror but I would certainly work on decreasing how many times you are checking out your appearance in the mirror. Believe it or not, the act of checking yourself out over and over in the mirror increases feelings of depression and anxiety. 

Reexamine who you follow on social media

Social media is great for connecting with other people and maintaining and building relationships. It opens up more opportunities to have connections regardless of physical distance. It can be a wonderful tool and support for people. It can also be a downfall. If you are following people that are body-focused regardless of their body size, people that are counting their macros or are on a “health” journey, it will likely lead to you thinking more about your body and what you eat then is probably helpful. I would urge you to pay attention to the accounts you are following and notice how you are feeling after scrolling. It’s ok to mute and unfollow anyone who makes you feel negative about yourself, and in fact, I would encourage you to do just that. 

Dress comfortably and get rid of clothes that don’t fit

This may seem to be pretty obvious but the way you dress matters. If you are constantly wearing clothes that are too big or too small, it’s going to keep you focused on your body size. You absolutely do not deserve to be or feel uncomfortable in your clothes. That may mean getting a different size of clothes. You might have unspoken rules in your head about what your size is allowed to be or you may feel anxiety about changing sizes, I want you to know it’s normal, and it’s ok. When you get the courage to do it, I would recommend getting rid of the clothes that don’t fit you anymore that have been hanging in your closet for “one day”. Take someone you trust shopping with you and let them pick the sizes for you so you don’t have to see them. Finding clothes that fit you properly is important when coping with a negative body image. 

Practice gratitude for your body

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I tell all of my clients who are struggling with their body image that my goal is not to get them to love every part of their bodies. My goal is to get you to have respect and gratitude for your body. I want you to be able to move to a place of acceptance of what your body is rather than trying to get your approval of it. I don’t expect you to hold any body-love rallies, but I want you to think about your appearance much less than you are now. One of the tools to do this is finding things you are grateful for about your body. As they say, “Your body is an instrument, not an ornament”. Focusing less on what it looks like and more so on what allows you to do can help you feel more positively about your body. 

Body-image therapy can help

Using coping skills might not cure your bad body image, so don’t beat yourself up if you still struggle at times. These are tools to help you cope with how you feel about your body and to work towards having a more positive relationship with yourself. Therapy is a critical tool in helping you really dig in and rewrite the story of what you tell yourself about your body. Therapy is also an important step in healing from the past messages you’ve been given about yourself and your body. It’s important to address the underlying issues that have contributed to an emphasis on your body and help you develop a healthier view of yourself.

Trauma, comments made by others, and early childhood experiences contribute to developing a negative view of your body. It might seem like something you should be able to shake off, but our brains aren’t wired that way. Many women feel embarrassed that they care about something as “stupid” as what their body looks like. They have shared that they’ve tried to talk about it with other people and it has been minimized or they have been reassured that they look good, an dthere’s nothing wrong with their bodies. They begin to wonder if something is wrong with them because the words of their loved ones fall flat. The truth is nobody is going to be able to persuade your or convince you with words that your body is ok. The most important part of healing is you learn to accept yourself and your body for what it is.

Body image therapy is not just learning coping skills, but it’s actually learning to find healing from the comments people have made about your body that have been painful. Body image therapy is learning to respect your body and treat it with kindness. It doesn’t mean you’re always going to be stoked to look in the mirror or you’re going to love what you look like. The most important thing you can learn is how to show gratitude and kindness regardless of how you feel about your appearance. The overall goal is to feel better about yourself, which you can expect to focus on in therapy.

Start working with a body image therapist near Provo, Utah

You don’t have to keep hating your body forever. Therapy can help you stop the war you have with your body. This Provo Utah Area Counseling Clinic has a body image therapist that can help! To begin body image therapy, follow the steps below:

  1. Schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation with Ashlee Hunt

  2. Complete online forms and book the first session with a mental health expert

  3. Begin body image therapy

Other mental Health Services Provided by Maple Canyon Therapy

Body image therapy isn’t the only service I provide at this Utah County Counseling Clinic. Other mental health services provided by Maple Canyon Therapy Services include anxiety treatment, EMDR and Trauma Therapy, Eating Disorder Therapy, birth trauma therapy, and binge eating disorder treatment in Utah.

All services are available through online therapy in Utah. This means if you are located in St. George, Cedar City, Logan, or Heber City, I can still help you.

About the Author

Ashlee Hunt is a licensed clinical social worker and owner of Maple Canyon Therapy Services in Spanish fork, Utah. Ashlee holds a bachelor’s degree in psychology, a bachelor’s degree in family life and human development from Southern Utah University, and a masters in social work from Utah State University. She has worked with women with eating disorders and body image issues since she was a graduate student. Ashlee is passionate about working with women who are committed to developing a healthier view of themselves, food, and their bodies.

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4 Tips to Recover From a Binge From an Eating Disorder Therapist

If you struggle with binge eating disorder, I am sure there have been mornings you have woken up feeling immense physical discomfort and swimming in an ocean of shame. You likely start berating yourself for not having enough self-control and wonder what is wrong with you that you keep doing this. You feel terrible, and you hate feeling this way. What do you do with all of these feelings, and how do you recover from a binge?

Give yourself a hefty dose of self-compassion 

A woman with a measuring tape over her mouth looking down at a sandwich. This represents how Maple Canyon Therapy provides eating disorder treatment in Utah along with treating PTSD symptoms in Women in Utah.

If you were sitting on my couch in my office, I would validate how you are feeling and let you know that you are ok. There’s nothing wrong with you. It’s not because you don’t have self-control, and it’s ok that you binged. I hope that you would give that same response to a friend or someone that you care about, so can you give that response to yourself? Being mean to yourself actually isn’t very motivational contrary to what you might think. When we are treated negatively, it doesn’t yield long-term positive results. Give yourself a break no matter how many times you have binged. You’re allowed to feel sad and upset, AND it’s also true that you’re doing your best. I’m sure you don’t want to binge, and there is likely a deeper reason for why you’re responding this way. 

Refuse the temptation to start restricting 

When you are physically uncomfortable and full of self-hatred, you might be tempted to commit to restricting, avoiding foods, and diet. Girl, please don’t do this. You might not realize this but restricting food either physically or mentally is what leads to binge eating. People tell themselves it's because they just don’t have enough self-control, when the truth is it’s because you have a history of dieting or restricting food. Even telling yourself that foods are bad for you and avoiding them is a form of restriction. You might be tempted to skip your next meal because you’re uncomfortable and probably really don’t feel up to eating sometimes. I would encourage you to eat something to get back into regular eating. Restricting with just starting the binge eating cycle all over again. 

Provide yourself with self-care

You probably want to do the opposite of giving yourself self-care after a binge, but this is when you need it the most. Hydrate your body. Get some rest. Take a bath. Go on a walk. Listen to music. Whatever it is for you that is a form of self-care, please do it. Your body and you remind have been through a lot in a binge, and they need the time and space to recover. You don’t need to punish yourself for binging but give yourself a break. It doesn’t matter if you think you deserve it or not. You need a little extra care right now. 

Avoid isolation and connect

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It can be tempting to isolate yourself from others after a binge. You feel like hot garbage physically and emotionally. You aren’t hot garbage, though, and you deserve to be loved. You might want to keep your distance from other people and isolate yourself. This isn’t the time to turn down spending time with friends or connecting with others. This is the time that you need connection the most. Allow yourself to spend time with people you care about and those who care about you. You are more likely to have a successful recovery from a binge when you reach out for support. Feeling shame for binging will make you feel like you can’t tell anyone because they will judge you. I would encourage you to find someone that is safe and that you trust to tell how you’re feeling. 

You can overcome binge eating disorder

Overcoming binge eating can be difficult. I want you to know that it’s ok that you’re struggling and that you deserve to feel better. You can also have the hope that you will get better, and you don’t have to stay in this cycle of binging forever. There are definitely possibilities for recovering from binge eating disorder. Therapy can be something that can help you gain the tools and learn how to look deeper at things that you might not have realized contribute to your eating disorder.

Looking for Binge Eating Disorder Treatment and located in Utah?  

A woman sitting on a couch looking sad. This represents how at Maple Canyon Therapy has an anxiety therapist in Utah who treats dating anxiety, high functioning anxiety, and performance anxiety in Utah.

You don’t have to keep feeling uncomfortable and ashamed of yourself. Binge Eating Disorder Treatment can help you stop breaking the binge cycle. This Utah County Counseling Center has an eating disorder therapist specializing in Binge Eating Disorder Treatment. To begin therapy, follow the steps below:

  1. Schedule a free-15 minute phone consultation

  2. Meet with a binge eating disorder therapist

  3. Begin eating disorder recovery

Binge Eating Disorder Treatment through online therapy in Utah

I know how important it is to have a therapist specializing in what you are struggling with, especially regarding eating disorder recovery. I want you to be able to connect with someone who really gets it. I also know parts of Utah don’t know how to have a therapist trained in treating eating disorders, and this is why I offer online therapy in Utah. This makes it so you can have access to an eating disorder therapist.

I work with clients all throughout Utah, including Salt Lake City, Logan, Heber, Cedar City, St. George, and more.

Other mental health services at Maple Canyon Therapy

Binge Eating Disorder Treatment isn’t the only counseling service provided at this Northern Utah Counseling Center. Other mental health services provided by Maple Canyon Therapy include eating disorder therapy, EMDR therapy, Birth Trauma, anxiety therapy, and body image therapy.

About the Author

A photo of Ashlee Hunt. This represents how Maple Canyon Therapy provides online anxiety therapy, EMDR therapy, birth trauma, and support for traumatic birth in Utah.

Ashlee Hunt is a licensed clinical social worker and owner of Maple Canyon Therapy in Utah County. She graduated from Southern Utah University with two bachelor’s degrees: psychology and family life and human development. Ashlee received her master’s degree from Utah State University. Ashlee has had an interest in eating disorders since a teen and having her first client at the counseling center at USU. She cares deeply about helping women be able to find peace with food and their bodies. Ashlee believes eating disorder recovery is completely possible with the help of a therapist and dietician. Outside of therapy, Ashlee loves finding plants to add to her collection from Sun River Gardens in Orem when she isn't being a therapist.

6 Signs You Are A Perfectionist

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Back in the day when I was doing group therapy at an eating disorder treatment center, I remember leading a group on perfectionism. It was insightful to me and the women in it. Many of those women didn’t think they were perfectionists until after the group was over. They were surprised at how perfectionism can show up in different ways. Perfectionism can range from getting straight A’s to not being willing to do anything due to fear that it won’t be perfect. Perfectionism is different in everyone but the impact is negative regardless. 

Perfectionism is one of those things that people actually view as a good thing. People are more willing to share they’re a perfectionist than they are to admit they are depressed. It might seem more socially acceptable to be a perfectionist but at times we fail to see how damaging it is. Perfectionism can be paralyzing to people, which leads to increased anxiety and depression. Being high-achieving might seem like a good thing but sometimes we don’t realize the cost and toll it takes on us. 

There are many different signs of perfectionism. This is not a comprehensive list and just because you might relate to all of these doesn’t mean you aren’t a perfectionist. 

Signs of perfectionism

You avoid things you’re not good at

If you are someone that doesn’t believe you’ll be good at something then you avoid doing it at all costs. You might avoid it because you are afraid of looking stupid or not being seen as having it all together. This trait is something that perfectionists fail to see in themselves because they think they’re actually lazy or unmotivated. The truth is they are absolutely terrified of making a mistake or people knowing they’re not good at everything. 

Being average is unacceptable

I had a client tell me that thinking about being average “hurts their feelings”. They want to be good at everything. Getting anything less than an A feels like failure. They feel like they have to be above average at everything they do. Receiving any feedback or criticism feels like failure. If they don’t get a glowing evaluation at their job then they feel like a failure. It is completely unrealistic to be able to achieve high standards in all areas of life, and yet perfectionists feel they somehow have to. 

Doing anything imperfectly means you’re a failure of a person

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Perfectionists don’t allow themselves to be human. They may be able to accept that other people make mistakes but they don’t allow themselves to do the same. When they fail to measure up to their own standards or make mistakes they view it as a failure. They don’t see themselves as separate from this and believe they are a failure of a person. Not measuring up often is accompanied by increased anxiety and depression. 

Seeing only flaws in your achievements

You might be a perfectionist if you only see the flaws in your achievements or accomplishments. Often nobody else will see these things but perfectionists see all of their mistakes People who are perfectionistic might be embarrassed or ashamed for anyone to see the things they’ve done because of this. It seems that no matter how much effort or work perfectionists put into something, it never quite measures up to the standard they have for themselves. 

Never feeling good enough

Perfectionists downright never feel that what they do is good enough. They are quick to point out what they could be doing better or what they could improve. It doesn’t matter how much praise or compassion is given to them they don’t think they deserve it because they are not perfect. Perfectionism is a black hole of there never being anything that makes you feel enough. 

Fear other people will see your mistakes

A perfectionist’s worst nightmare is that other people will see them as a failure. They are fearful people will see through them and believe they are incompetent and an imposter. Perfectionists don’t want to be put in situations where they aren’t able to do things competently because they don’t want others to see them as weak. Perfectionists will avoid being in situations where they might feel stupid or might be seen in a negative light. 

Perfectionism isn’t just about seeming put together and getting good grades. It’s about struggling with self-esteem and anxiety for many. Perfectionists engage in many of their tendencies as a way of feeling better about themselves. Perfectionistic behavior is also about trying to manage anxiety but it pays a price on your emotional well-being. 

Anxiety Therapy can help with perfectionism 

If you read this blog and found yourself identifying with having perfectionistic behaviors, the best thing you can do for yourself is to seek out therapy. Therapy can help you find different ways to cope with your emotions and feel better about yourself. You don’t have to feel suffocated by perfectionism. You can feel better about yourself. 

Ready to start anxiety therapy in Utah?

You can move beyond perfectionism, and anxiety therapy can help. This Utah County Counseling Center has an anxiety therapist specializing in therapy for perfectionism. To begin therapy, follow the steps below:

  1. Schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation

  2. Meet with a therapist for anxiety

  3. Find freedom from perfectionism

A woman typing on her laptop and smiling. This represents how at Maple Canyon Therapy provides body image therapy for women with body image issues and negative body image as well as EMDR for binge eating in Utah.

Online anxiety therapy in Utah

It’s tough to prioritize yourself and take time from your schedule to see a therapist. I know how much therapy can make a difference and change your life. This is why I offer online therapy in Utah. Online counseling is a face-to-face video session that’s equally to in-person therapy but much more convenient.

Telehealth allows me to work with clients in Salt Lake City, St. George, Cedar City, Logan, Heber, and more.

Other mental health services at maple canyon therapy

Anxiety therapy isn’t the only counseling service offered at this Utah Counseling Practice. Other mental health services include body image therapy, eating disorder therapy, binge eating disorder treatment, birth trauma therapy, and trauma therapy in Utah.

5 Things Not To Say To Someone With Anxiety: Advice From an Anxiety Therapist

A woman lying down with her hands over her face. This represents how at Maple Canyon Therapy, provides anxiety treatment for symptoms of anxiety through working with an online anxiety therapist in Utah.

If you are someone that struggles with anxiety, you’ve likely been given unhelpful advice at times on how to manage it. Most people give this advice because they don’t truly understand the depth of anxiety because they’ve never experienced it themselves, or they’re uncomfortable with emotions that aren’t deemed positive. If you are reading this and you love someone that struggles with anxiety I want to give you a little insight about anxiety. 

Anxiety is not something that can be controlled with a flip of a switch. Just because someone experiences anxiety it doesn’t mean they aren’t trying or they are bringing it on themselves. Our brains are complicated sometimes, and each person has to find what works for them. If you have a loved one that experiences anxiety, I would certainly invite you to go inward on what’s happening for you when you know they are feeling anxious. Are you uncomfortable with their anxiety? Do you not understand their anxiety? Are you desperate to make them feel better? Whatever it is you need to understand that their anxiety isn’t about you. You cannot manage someone else's anxiety for them but there are things you can do to be supportive and helpful. Some of the things you might say to someone with anxiety aren’t supportive and can be really invalidating. Let me introduce you to some. 

“Just try not to worry about it” 

I would guess if you are using this statement you’re probably pretty uncomfortable with someone’s anxiety. As I said before people don’t have the ability to turn off their brains and simply stop worrying about something. I assure you that anxiety is already uncomfortable and overwhelming enough that if this was an option for people they would have done it long ago. Instead of asking your loved one not to worry about it try, “What can I do to help support you right now?” 

“Calm down” 

Those two words do not activate the parasympathetic nervous system (the part of the nervous system that calms). I’m sorry I don’t make the rules. Again using this statement is likely a result of your own discomfort, and maybe it’s time to own those feelings. Ironically, saying “Calm down” will have the opposite effect. It’s bound to make someone feel unheard and realize you are not a safe person to be open with about what your loved one is experiencing. Try “I’m here for you. You don’t have to do this alone” and then be present with them. 

A black woman sitting and covering the sides of her face with her hands. This represents how at Maple Canyon Therapy, I provide eating disorder treatment in Utah along with binge eating disorder treatment in Utah.

“It’s all in your head” 

In my opinion, this is the worst one. Yes, anxiety begins in our brains so, of course, it’s in people's heads. This statement has another meaning and when people hear it they are not only invalidated but they feel crazy and as if they are making their anxiety up. I don’t think people want to be anxious. I work with women with anxiety, and they don’t enjoy the experience of feeling anxious, and they don’t want to feel crazy or believe that you think they’re making this up. Try instead, “Do you want me to listen, or would you like a distraction?” 

“You need to change your thoughts”

I will give you some credit if you’ve used this statement before. One approach to anxiety management for some people is to work on changing their thoughts. It’s not my favorite approach because it’s not always effective or worth someone’s energy to chase down all their thoughts and try to change them. The reason people fall into thought traps is likely because of past experiences. Those are the experiences that are worth focusing energy and time on healing. We are also missing the big part of the fact that anxiety is an emotion, not just a thought. Anxious thoughts can accompany anxiety but changing your thoughts doesn’t change an emotion. We cannot just turn off an emotion.  Try instead, “I am sure this is overwhelming for you. What can I do to help you cope?”

A woman with her hand on her chest looking panicked. This represents how at Maple Canyon Therapy has a utah trauma therapist providing trauma therapy for PTSD symptoms in Women through online therapy in Utah.

“Focus on praying and having faith”

This one. This response may be said with good intentions but my oh my is it a shaming one. Let me remind you that anxiety sometimes arrives outside of people’s control. When someone prays and tries to have faith and the anxiety doesn’t go away, they are led to believe it’s their fault. They must be doing something wrong if they’ve checked all the spiritual boxes and are still struggling. Prayer and faith can be a helpful tool for SOME people, but they aren’t the cure. Please don’t say this to anyone about any physical and emotional struggle. It’s not their fault that they have anxiety. Try saying, “I’m sure it’s hard to feel positive right now. What do you need from me?”

Please remember to be gentle with your people that have anxiety. Validating and being present with their emotions actually helps them get through the experience faster but doesn’t always mean it’s a quick and easy process. 

Anxiety therapy can help

Whether you struggle with anxiety or a loved one, anxiety therapy is the secret sauce. It’s actually not that big of a secret, but maybe you’re not quite a believer in counseling. If you don’t know how to help yourself or someone you love that struggles with anxiety, consider anxiety therapy. Going to therapy doesn’t mean you are crazy or that something is wrong with you but it does make a world of difference to work with a trained mental health professional. As a therapist, I have spent years studying mental health and how to help people struggling, and want you to know you are not beyond help if you are struggling. Anxiety therapy is an investment that you will not regret.

Start anxiety therapy near Provo, Utah

If you are struggling with anxiety and want help learning to cope with your emotions and work on the root of the problem, I can help. This Northern Utah Counseling Practice has a therapist for anxiety specializing in anxiety treatment. To begin therapy, follow the steps below:

  1. Schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation

  2. Complete online forms and meet with an anxiety therapist

  3. Begin anxiety therapy

Work with an anxiety therapist online in Utah

A woman sitting cross legged on a couch looking away. This represents how Maple Canyon Therapy provides birth trauma therapy, and EMDR for binge eating in Utah.

I want to make therapy as accessible for you as possible. It’s not easy to take time out of your work and school schedule to meet with a therapist. I also know how important it is to prioritize your mental health, which is why I offer online therapy in Utah. It’s safe, convenient, and just as effective as in-person therapy.

Online therapy allows me to work with clients in Logan, Salt Lake City, St. George, Heber, Cedar City, and more.

Other mental health services at Maple Canyon Therapy

Anxiety therapy isn’t the only counseling service at this Utah County Counseling Clinic. Other mental health services provided by Maple Canyon Therapy include binge eating disorder treatment, eating disorder therapy, birth trauma therapy, body image therapy, and trauma therapy in Utah.

About the Author

Ashlee Hunt is licensed clinical social worker in the state of Utah and owner of Maple Canyon Therapy in Northern Utah. Ashlee has two bachelors degrees in psychology and family life and human development from Southern Utah University. She has a masters in social work from Utah State University. Ashlee enjoys helping women who struggle with dating anxiety and high functioning anxiety find the relief they desperately deserve. She has been practicing therapy for almost a decade and enjoys the privilege of working with some of the loveliest people she has ever met. When Ashlee isn’t practicing therapy, she enjoys time outside and spends time at the North Park in Spanish Fork.

5 Ways To Deal With Dating Anxiety: Tips From an Anxiety Therapist

A couple smiling at each other at a table. This represents how at Maple Canyon Therapy, I provide anxiety therapy for dating anxiety, performance anxiety, social anxiety, and postpartum anxiety.

Rest assured I’m not here to give you dating advice or to convince you that dating is fun. I won’t pretend that I know what you’re going through or give you my unsolicited opinion as your mom might ;). I know it can be frustrating living here in Utah and feeling the enormous pressure to date. It’s a big deal to try and figure out who you are and what your values are AND try to begin relationships. The great state of Utah has a heavy emphasis on dating and getting married and when you have anxiety about dating this is torture. 

Dating can bring up all sorts of feelings you have about yourself. It brings up insecurities about body image, nervousness around finding the right outfit, having to eat in front of someone, feeling awkward, and not knowing what to say. I also know it's scary to be alone with someone and worry about your safety. All of these make it super hard for dating but when you have anxiety on top of all of that it’s incredibly difficult. I wish that I could dress in disguise and sit in the next booth at the restaurant you’re at so you wouldn’t have to feel so scared and alone. Since I can’t do that I want to give you some tips on how to manage dating anxiety. 

Accept that you have dating anxiety 

This might sound like a no-brainer but hear me out. Sometimes we fight with our brains or try to talk ourselves out of feeling a certain way. If you’ve ever been a victim to someone saying “just don’t worry about it”, you know that anxiety cannot just be turned off. Let me say that again, you can’t just turn anxiety off. Accept that you’re likely going to feel anxious at some point on your date, and that's ok! There’s nothing wrong with you. Meeting new people can be scary. Also remember that all those things your brain is telling you like, “I’m not pretty enough” or “He won’t like me” or “This is going to be so awkward” aren’t facts, they’re just anxious thoughts. If you can accept that these thoughts are going to show up but it doesn’t mean you have to latch onto them or believe them. You can let them come and go. 

Focus on what you can control

You don’t have control over if your date likes you or not. You don’t have control over if you have a connection. You don’t have control over if you have anxiety but there are many other things you do have control over. You have control over what you wear, how you respond to things, and what you choose to do. Focus on those things. Dress in ways that you are comfortable and can feel the most confidence. I understand that if you have dating anxiety you are likely going to be somewhat uncomfortable so can you offset that by finding ways to be comfortable? Wear comfortable shoes, be gentle with yourself, and please don’t make yourself wear tight pants. 

Don’t agree to things you aren’t comfortable with 

A couple leaning against the wall smiling at each other. This represents how Maple Canyon Therapy provides eating disorder treatment for binge eating disorder, emotional eating, and disordered eating.

No matter what, you don’t have to do anything with your date that you aren’t uncomfortable with. If your date wants to go for a drive up the canyon, you can say no. If you don’t feel comfortable driving alone even for short distances with them, you are allowed to drive yourself. If you want to invite another couple along, you’re allowed to talk to your date about doing that. If you aren’t comfortable with holding hands or don’t kissing on the first date, you absolutely don’t have to do that! You also are not obligated to go further than that either. If your date is unwilling to 

accommodate what's in your comfort level, please don’t go or call someone to pick you up. You are already anxious and don’t need extra pressure. 

Remember it's not your job to please your date or make them like you. 

We all want to be liked. Some of us pretend we don’t care about that but deep down we all do. I totally understand feeling anxious on a date because you want to be liked so badly. You don’t have control over this, and you don’t need to spend your energy trying to fit a mold or getting someone to like you. I know it’s not easy to let go of this. I know it’s hard to just be chill and easygoing about being liked, and I’m not asking you to be. I’m reminding you how YOU FEEL MATTERS. You don’t have to go to great lengths to be impressive. You’re good enough now. If your date doesn’t like you, it doesn’t mean everyone else doesn’t like you either. 

Have a goal for yourself on the date

If you don’t have control over if someone likes you or not and it’s not your job to please your date and let's be honest maybe you don’t even want to go on the date because you’re so anxious, you can choose to have a goal instead. Like with all things that bring us anxiety, practice and exposure to it help to decrease anxiety. If you want to lessen your dating anxiety, you need to date more often. I’m not saying you need to date to get married nor am I pressuring you to be in a relationship because I don’t care about that. I’m here committed to helping you ease your dating anxiety. Having a goal for what you want to focus on practicing on the date can be helpful. Do you want to practice deep breathing while in conversation? Do you want to practice asking and answering questions? Choose something that you want to feel better about when it comes to dating anxiety and practice it. 

I just want to tell you I’m proud of you. I know dealing with dating anxiety is hard. I know you would like to avoid dating altogether, and if that’s what you choose to do, there is nothing wrong with it. You have to take care of yourself and do what's best for you. When we feel obligated or lectured into doing something, it’s really not a pleasant experience. There is no rush to your healing. Keep doing what feels right to you. You can trust your intuition. 

A couple sitting at a bar drinking together. This represents how Maple Canyon Therapy provides trauma therapy for birth trauma, and PTSD symptoms in Women.

Anxiety Therapy for Dating Anxiety

Dating anxiety really is the worst. I hate that you’re going through this. I don’t want you to feel so much pressure to date and overcome your anxiety. I want you to find relief from anxiety and date when and how you are comfortable. The women I work with feel the same way you do. They might feel anxiety about dating because they’ve had a negative experience with dating, or they just don’t like to date because they don’t feel great about themselves. Regardless of the reason, I’m confident that I can help.

Begin anxiety therapy in Utah?

You don’t have to keep dealing with the anxiousness of dating. Anxiety Therapy can help. This Northern Utah Counseling Clinic has an anxiety therapist who can help. To begin therapy, follow the steps below:

  1. Schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation

  1. Meet with an anxiety therapist in Utah

  2. Begin therapy for anxiety

Online Anxiety Therapy in Utah

I offer online therapy in Utah to help with your anxiety. I know it’s hard to go to therapy and take time out of your schedule, but I know how much therapy can help. It can be the thing that makes the biggest difference for you.

Online counseling means that if you are located in St. George, Logan, Salt Lake City, Cedar City, Heber and more, you have access to working with an online therapist in Utah.

Other mental health services provided by Maple Canyon Therapy

Anxiety therapy isn’t the only counseling service provided by this Utah Counseling Center. Other mental health services provided by Maple Canyon Therapy include therapy for birth trauma, eating disorder therapy, EMDR therapy, body image therapy, and binge eating disorder treatment in Utah.

4 Reasons To Not Compliment Weight Loss: Advice From an Eating Disorder Therapist

A woman sitting down looking scared. This represents how at Maple Canyon Therapy, provides binge eating disorder treatment, eating disorder treatment, and body image therapy in Utah.

“People think I look better when I’m thinner.” I cannot tell you how many times I have heard that statement or some variation of that statement in therapy with the woman sitting across from me. Do you know what sucks about that? That is reality and not something they made up. People have given them attention and compliments when they’ve been at lower weights.  I don’t care at all whatever number my client weighs. The number that has no power over me has so much power over them, and sadly it’s because it’s been reinforced to them as better by the compliments that have been given them when they are at a lower weight. 

If you have read the post I wrote very recently “Why You Shouldn’t Comment on Anyone’s Body” you might have an idea how this topic is an area that I am passionate about. At the risk of saying the same thing I saA woman sitting down looking scared. This represents how at Maple Canyon Therapy, provides binge eating disorder treatment, eating disorder treatment, and body image therapy in Utah.id in that post, I wanted to dive into why complimenting weight loss specifically is a bad idea. I am an eating disorder therapist and even when I am working with women without eating disorders, I am working with women in general. I don’t think I have met a woman in my office that didn’t have some history or present struggle with body image. If you are reading this and have never struggled with body image, I would love to meet you!


Pointing out weight loss can have harmful effects

I am writing more about this because the women I work with deserve better, and so do you. I know most people aren’t trying to hurt people by complimenting weight loss. I think they are actually doing the opposite. They think they are being kind and praising their effort and their work. In the moment, it might feel good for people to hear but later it hurts to think about when they’ve gained the weight back or are terrified to eat more because they might gain the weight back. Most people because our bodies aren’t down with eating under what they need. Reasons why you shouldn’t compliment weight loss:

1. You might not realize that you are reinforcing that being thinner is better

As a society, we have been led to believe that being thin is the superior way of being. This is harmful because many people aren’t made to be thin. They have to do to great lengths that are natural and unhealthy to occupy a thin body. Making comments on weight loss continues to give others the message that it’s important to be thin. You also may not realize that you are giving attention to a person who has lost weight that you didn’t give before. Nobody likes that feeling. People will begin equating weight loss with attention. 

2. Complimenting weight loss encourages disordered eating. 

A woman frowning and holding up her hand against a cheeseburger. This represents how Maple Canyon Therapy provides birth trauma therapy, EMDR for eating disorders, and EMDR therapy online in Utah.

Remember we have no idea how a person who has lost weight has lost it. Healthy weight loss is pretty hard to come by. Pointing out weight loss as a positive thing reinforces that a person has to use disordered eating behaviors. Disordered eating behaviors take a major physical, emotional, and mental toll on people. Please don’t encourage someone to continue using these. I cannot tell you how painful it is for my clients to try and work through this. 

3. Complimenting weight loss is giving the person the message they didn’t look good before. 

As I have said before, complimenting weight loss reinforces that a person is more valuable when they are thinner. I have countless conversations with women who have this reaction. They tell me that people in their lives have told them how good they look after losing weight and they begin to believe that their spouse or partner likes them better the thinner they are. There are many reasons that I don’t even point out weight loss ever, and this is one of them. The people in my life have the same value to me regardless of the number on the scale, and I’m sure you feel the same. Make sure you aren’t subtly giving the message that attraction is based on weight loss or being thin.

4. You might be complimenting an illness or an eating disorder. 

We don’t know how people lost weight. People lose weight because they are very sick, and complimenting that breaks my heart. I have had several people in my life be incredibly ill and what did people notice? The weight loss. If you don’t know, this is messed up. People also can be losing weight as a result of having an eating disorder and might be working on getting enough courage to get help. They might be working on getting adequate nutrition, and making comments about their body will become a barrier. Eating disorders cause so much physical and emotional damage and complimenting their side effects is not helpful. Many people believe they are complimenting “health” when they are complimenting weight loss. Health means a lot of different things and when someone is sick or has an eating disorder this is obviously not healthy. 

I never mean to be harsh, and sometimes learning you’ve been doing things that aren’t helpful really sucks. We don’t always know when we are contributing to a greater problem. I know I have made the same mistakes before knowing better, and I regret the things I have said so so much. All you and I can do at this point is to realize our own beliefs about weight and body size. That’s our stuff to work through if we continue to idealize a thinner body. 

Eating disorder therapy for when you’re struggling

If you are struggling with how you feel about your body, disordered eating behaviors, or think you might have an eating disorder, therapy can help. Working through how you feel about your body image and managing your anxiety better is possible. A lot goes into eating disorder recovery, but the first step is reaching out for help. I love working with women who struggle with disordered eating and who are ready to do whatever it takes to get better

A blue couch with a pillow and blanket. This represents how Maple Canyon Therapy provides therapy for high functioning anxiety, social anxiety, performance anxiety, and PTSD symptoms in Women in Utah.

Looking for eating disorder therapy in Utah?

I promise you don’t have to struggle with your eating or your body image for the rest of your life. Eating disorder treatment can help. This Northern Utah Counseling Practice has an eating disorder therapist that can help. To begin therapy, follow these steps:

  1. Schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation

  2. Meet with a body image therapist

  3. Begin eating disorder therapy

Online Eating Disorder Therapy in Utah

When you are struggling with an eating disorder, it’s important that you receive help from someone that has specialized training in eating disorder treatment. I know this isn’t always easy or convenient, as many parts of Utah don’t have access to this. This is why I provide online therapy in Utah. This allows you to meet with an eating disorder therapist from the comfort of your home without traveling or commuting.

Online counseling also means that we can work together wherever you are in Utah. I work with clients in Logan, Salt Lake City, St. Goerge, Cedar City, Heber, and more.

Other services offered at Maple Canyon Therapy Services

Eating disorder therapy isn’t the only counseling service provided at this Utah County Counseling Clinic. Other mental health services provided by Maple Canyon Therapy include binge eating disorder treatment, body image therapy, birth trauma therapy, trauma therapy, and anxiety therapy in Utah.

About the Author

A photo of Ashlee Hunt LCSW. This represents how Maple Canyon Therapy provides therapy for anxiety in Utah, anxiety treatment, and online anxiety therapy in Utah.

Ashlee Hunt is a Utah therapist and owner of Maple Canyon Therapy in Utah County. Ashlee has been working with women with eating disorders since she was a graduate student working at Utah State University Counseling and Psychological Services as a student therapist. This is where she decided to work with women with eating disorders, disordered eating, and body-image. Ashlee believes eating disorder recovery is possible and likes to help empower women with the tools they need to get better. Ashlee has two bachelor’s degrees from Southern Utah University in psychology and family life and human development. She received her masters in social work from Utah State University. When Ashlee isn’t doing therapy, she enjoys spending time outside and taking her dogs to Strawberry Reservoir.

How Marriage Counseling Can Be Helpful In Eating Disorder Recovery 

Guest Blog Post 

I am passionate about working with women who struggle with disordered eating, and they are the loveliest clients to work with. A big part of eating disorder recovery is utilizing the relationships you have as support, and couples therapy definitely helps. I  am not an expert in couples therapy, I do happen to know someone who is and is passionate about helping couples have the relationship of their dreams while being realistic. Check out this post about couples therapy by Marcus Hunt, a couples therapist at Marcus Hunt Therapy here in Spanish Fork, Utah. Enjoy the product of us nerding out about therapy things. 

Eating disorders impact your relationship 

A black and white photo of a woman hugging a man. This represents how at Maple Canyon Therapy, I provide eating disorder treatment, anxiety therapy and EMDR therapy both through online therapy in Utah.

When you are in the midst of your eating disorder, you might not notice how it impacts your relationships or marriage. It’s easy to dismiss that it has any sort of effect on your relationship but it does. The way you show up for your partner or don’t show up for them might be a result of your eating disorder. Eating disorders can be all-consuming, and you might not realize it. Eating disorders involve some level of keeping things secret and isolating. Isolation can occur from avoidance around social events involving food or because you’re experiencing depression and anxiety. You may not also realize you’re isolating yourself from your partner. This not be making you feel guilty but to help you see the reality; it can be hard to connect with someone that’s consumed with negative thoughts about themselves and engaging in harmful behaviors. 

Your relationship with food might impact your partner as well. Some people have “food rules” where they only eat certain foods or only allow them to eat at certain times. People with eating disorders might not allow certain foods in the house because they think it’s a “bad food” or is the food they are afraid of eating. Eating disorders do more than restrict food but they restrict connection. Your partner may consequently have to also live by your food rules, and it’s hard to live in congruence when one of you has rules that you feel like you always have to follow. It’s hard to go out to dinner or breakfast if your food rules don’t allow for it. These rules also impact your children and the way you and your partner end up parenting. Looking at food with morals can have far-reaching effects. Your partner might also feel like they have to walk on eggshells around you. 

Eating disorders impact your self-esteem and might put up walls with your partner

People with eating disorders don’t view themselves in a positive light. They are consumed with how terrible they feel about themselves. Those with eating disorders have higher instances of depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem. They tend to speak negatively about themselves, and their partners feel helpless on what to do because nothing seems to make a difference. A spouse or partner of someone with an eating disorder might not see all the negative things you believe about yourself. The self-hatred people with these disorders experience ends up putting up walls to other people in their lives because they don’t believe they deserve the love they are being offered or else they just can’t feel it at all. 

An eating disorder can feel like a third member of your relationship. There’s research that shows that eating disorders increase marital dissatisfaction and intimacy problems. 

Your relationship impacts your eating disorder 

A black couple hugging and smiling. This represents how at Maple Canyon Therapy, I help women in eating disorder recovery by providing online eating disorder therapy, therapy for perfectionists, and therapy for dating anxiety in Utah.

If your partner doesn’t have an eating disorder there are a lot of things they don’t understand. When you don’t feel understood in a relationship, it can be painful. It’s also true that there are certain things that a spouse or partner can say or do to trigger anxiety or other difficult emotions that relate to the eating disorder. People with eating disorders might feel uncomfortable with you commenting on their physical appearance or weight. Comments about food and how the person with an eating disorder is eating can cause increased motivation to engage in eating disorder behaviors. Praising weight loss in a relationship can reinforce to the person with an eating disorder that their partner would be more attracted to them the less they weigh. The same is true when a partner is critical of weight gain or food choices. Someone with an eating disorder might feel shame about comments on weight gain and may eat in secret. 

When someone is in eating disorder recovery, the most support they need will be from their partner. When your partner inadvertently does or says things to trigger your eating disorder behaviors or negative feelings about yourself, they are not supporting your recovery. They likely have no idea that what they are doing affects you, and you might not know how to talk to them about it. 

Eating disorder recovery is hard to do alone

Many people who struggle with eating disorders, would rather not involve their families in their recovery. They are convinced they won’t understand, that it’s not necessary or they don’t want to feel like a burden. Healing happens within relationships. Your partner or spouse needs to be involved in your recovery in order for you to heal and remain in recovery. You may also be ambivalent to involving your partner in this process because you are unsure you want to recover and are afraid if you involve your partner you won’t have any control to engage in eating disorder behaviors. 

How Marriage Counseling can be helpful in eating disorder recovery

An asian couple smiling at each other. This represents how at Maple Canyon Therapy, I provide treatment for binge eating disorder, therapy for emotional eating, and birth trauma therapy in Utah.

Marriage counseling is not just for people struggling in their marriage or relationship. It’s for everyone that wants to improve their relationship. Eating disorders impact the relationship and can be something that comes between the two of you. marriage counseling can help. 

1. Marriage counseling can help your partner know how to support you 

Couples therapy is a good place to have hard conversations that seem impossible to have on your own. It’s difficult to open up about what you need or what you don’t need from your partner. This can be a space to talk about what the partner may be doing to trigger eating disorder behaviors. Everyone is doing their best and in a world that is focused on diet culture and weight loss, your partner might not realize they may be contributing to the struggle. It’s also important to focus not on the things you shouldn’t do but on the things that will be helpful. Being open about how your partner can help you cope without using an eating disorder behaviors can be a critical part of recovery. 

2. Marriage Counseling can help you find the strengths in your relationship

When you are struggling with an eating disorder, you might feel like you are to blame for the relationship struggles. The goal of couples therapy is not to make you feel like everything is your fault. Eating disorders do impact the relationship but recovery can also bring you closer together as a couple. Your relationship doesn’t only surround your eating disorder but there are things you are doing well in your relationship. Couples therapy also focuses on doing more of the things that you are doing well in the relationship. There have been times when the eating disorder wasn’t interfering with the relationship and focusing on how you managed in those situations is a key element of couples therapy. 

3. Marriage Counseling can aid in you overcoming the challenges of an eating disorder together

As we talked about earlier, recovering from an eating disorder alone is hard to do alone, and it makes a big difference to utilize your partner for support. If you have someone that loves and cares about you in your life, you can get through a lot of things together. A central part of successful eating disorder recovery is utilizing the support you have. Both of your needs in the relationship matter and working together to overcome an eating disorder will allow your connection to grow. Connection is a key element in recovery from addictions and mental health disorders. Connecting more with your partner than your eating disorder can do wonderful things for both recovery and the relationship. 

4. Marriage Counseling can combat the secrecy of the eating disorder

A white couple sitting next to each other and smiling. This represents how Maple Canyon Therapy has a health at every size therapist providing binge eating disorder treatment for eating disorder symptoms in Utah

Eating disorders thrive in secrecy. They are able to be successful by isolating and not sharing their struggles with other people. Your eating disorder will at times see your partner as a threat because that connection can move you away from using harmful behaviors. Being open and honest with your partner about your emotions, and desires can stop your eating disorder from taking over. Couples therapy can help you address these areas and learn to communicate your needs and emotions. This is not a natural thing for most of us to do. Couples therapy is about learning tools and ways of communicating with each other that go beyond eating disorder recovery. 

Eating disorder recovery is hard, and you deserve to do it with someone that loves you. You might think they don’t understand what you’re going through but trust me, they can learn to get it the best they can. You don’t have to experience it to be able to give good support and safety. You deserve to be cared about, and couples therapy can help you overcome the challenges that your eating disorder may have handed to you. 

Ready to start Marriage Counseling and located in Utah?

Marcus Hunt is passionate about couples therapy. He loves helping couples learn to talk to each other and to connect in ways they used to. Marcus enjoys working with two people that are trying to figure things out and are doing the best they can. He wants to help you connect with your partner on what is important to you.  Whatever you are struggling with, he is confident that couples therapy can be helpful to just about everyone that is in a committed relationship and is willing to do the work to get the kind of relationship you want. You can begin marriage counseling by visiting Marcus Hunt Therapy.

About the Author 

Marcus Hunt AMFT. This represents how Maple Canyon Therapy provides disordered eating therapy, therapy for perfectionism, and online anxiety therapy in Utah.

Marcus Hunt is a marriage and family therapist who loves working with couples to get the spark back in their relationship. Marcus Hunt provides couples counseling, marriage counseling, and mental health therapy for men. He is an EMDR therapist and works to help people work through trauma. Marcus Hunt provides services through both online counseling throughout Utah and in-person in his office in Spanish Fork, Utah. 

Looking for eating disorder therapy near Provo, Utah?

If you have come to realize your eating disorder is taking over your life, I want you to know you don’t have to keep suffering. Eating Disorder Therapy can help. This Utah County Counseling Center has an eating disorder therapist specializing in eating disorder treatment. To begin eating disorder therapy follow these steps:

  1. Scheduling a free 15-minute phone consultation 

  2. Complete online forms and meet with an eating disorder therapist in Utah

  3. Begin eating disorder therapy

Binge Eating Disorder: A Comprehensive Guide

I have been thinking about writing this blog for a while, and I have to tell you some of my favorite clients are the ones that struggle with binge eating. The reason has nothing to do with their eating disorder behaviors and everything to do with how they present. My clients with binge eating are full of shame. They are so embarrassed by their eating disorder that they can’t even stand to be seen. They feel judged for their behaviors and can’t even imagine talking about it and telling the truth about how they use food. Those that I work with that struggle with binge eating disorder feel like they don’t have the “good eating disorder” and hate themselves for it.  My eyes are getting tearful just thinking about these lovely clients. I adore these clients because all I want to do is make them feel safe and seen. I want so badly for them to know that they won’t be judged, and they will be cared about. These are the clients that don’t talk about what they are going through because society is more rewarding of restricting than it is of binging. What my clients don’t know is their disorder is a product of restricting and limiting foods not because they don’t have self-control. Binging is a normal reaction that any person can go through after years of restriction. I don’t want you to blame yourself or hate yourself for something that isn’t your fault. 

If you’re here because you think you might have binge eating disorder, you’re safe with me. I’m not here to judge you but I want to help take care of you. Let’s dive into your comprehensive binge eating disorder guide according to Ashlee Hunt. 

What is Binge Eating Disorder?

Two women sitting on chairs with their faces hidden behind a book. This represents how Maple Canyon Therapy helps women overcome emotional eating through eating disorder therapy and EMDR for eating disorders.

Here’s the thing, I could easily give you google’s definition but you could easily find that yourself if you wanted to. I’m going to tell you what it is according to non-google terms. People with binge eating disorder tend to eat, what for them is large quantities of food to the point where they feel uncomfortably stuffed and out of control with food.

 I have worked with clients who think they binge when they are actually eating adequate amounts of food but because they are used to heavily restricting this feels like a “binge”. This isn’t binge eating disorder. Although I will indicate that this can be how binging starts but it’s not the same thing. When I worked at an eating disorder treatment center, I led a binge eating disorder support group, and the women I worked with didn’t feel they fit in anywhere because they truly were binging, but other people were restricting. While all eating disorders carry some component of shame, binge eating disorder by far cares the most shame. 

Symptoms of Binge Eating Disorder: 

  • Eating a quantity of food that leaves your body feeling uncomfortably full

  • Eating for you what is a large quantity of food in a short period of time

  • Frequently eating alone or sneaking food

  • Feelings of shame and guilt after eating for you is a large quantity of food

  • Feeling powerless or out of control around food

Binge Eating Disorder is a result of restriction

Those that I have worked with come to me feeling frustrated because they had gone for years with sticking to a diet or being able to have self-control. They are now binging and don’t know what went wrong. They try to tighten up even more on restricting foods or counting calories and macros but they just keep binging. Binge eating disorder is not because you don’t have self-control. It’s because you’ve deprived yourself of food through dieting and restricting. It makes sense that you would be binging after a diet. This is a normal reaction. Your body does not like to be underfed, and we don’t get to decide how much food our bodies require. Eventually, your body will rebel and cravings increase, and binges occur. Again this is an expected reaction from the body. Clients have told me that they aren’t restricting themselves from food, so why would they be binging then? The mental restriction is just as powerful as a physical restriction. If you are telling yourself in your head that you can only eat a certain amount of food, this is a restriction. This is a restriction if you are labeling foods good and bad and only allowing yourself to eat the “good” foods. This is a restriction if you don’t allow certain foods in your home because you’re afraid of a binge. This is a restriction if you are telling yourself how much food you can eat without checking in with what your body wants. If you are mentally restricting, you are still going to binge. 

Binge Eating Disorder doesn’t improve with more restriction. 

I see people trying to improve their binge eating disorder with even more restriction. Once again they believe if they could just get a hold of themselves and stick to a diet they would stop binging. This is creating even more restrictions. You will be surprised to know that binge eating disorder is actually overcome by allowing yourself to eat all foods. Intuitive Eating was created at first as the treatment for binge eating disorder. We know to use it to treat all eating disorders but learning to listen to your body and give yourself unconditional permission to eat all foods is how 

I recommend the people I work with who have binge eating disorder to work with an intuitive eating dietitian. My clients have feared that working with a dietitian would involve putting them on another diet or shaming them for how they eat. I recommend trusted dietitians who will help you learn to listen to your body and are anti-diet dietitians. 

Binge Eating Disorder treatment can help.

Most people will go see their doctor for binge eating disorder, and sadly this usually makes things worse. Their doctor will likely prescribe weight loss (*facepalm*) through a diet or medication that will help them eat less. I know it may be tempting to go this route but please please reconsider. The treatment for binge eating disorder involves working with a binge eating disorder therapist who operates from a Health At Every Size approach. As I indicated earlier, it also means working with an Intuitive Eating dietitian. Healing from eating disorders often involves healing from past trauma, working through difficult emotions, learning to give yourself self-compassion, and working with a team of experienced and specialized professionals. 

You can heal from Binge Eating Disorder

A black woman wearing a sun hat.  This represents how Maple Canyon Therapy provides PTSD treatment for trauma and anxiety, and symptoms of anxiety through online counseling in Cedar City, Utah

I would love to hype you up right now and tell you that you can heal from binge eating disorder. You can stop binging and have a healthy relationship with food and your body. It involves putting weight loss on the back burner. This may be what’s motivating you to get help from your eating disorder but focusing on weight loss is going to keep you in that binge eating cycle. Learning to tune in and listen to your body again is going to help your body learn to trust you will give it adequate nutrition. You deserve to heal, and you really can heal!

Ready to begin binge eating disorder treatment near Provo, Utah?

I assure you there is nothing I want more for you than for you to feel safe and cared about. I am not here to make any judgments of you. I want to help you feel better about yourself and to improve your relationship with food. Therapy can help you work through and create a happier version of yourself. I promise you I am not worried about how much you eat or what you look like. I’m here to help you heal from life’s bitter experiences. I want to help provide you with the best experience possible with Binge Eating Disorder Treatment.

Online Eating Disorder Therapy in Utah

Eating disorder treatment requires working with an eating disorder therapist with training and experience in what you are going through. Many parts of the state don’t have a therapist that can help because they don’t have this specialized experience. This is why I offer online counseling, a face-to-face video call where you don’t have to end up out in traffic. Online therapy in Utah is just as effective as in-person therapy.

Online counseling means if you are located in Logan, Cedar City, or St. George, I can help you recover from your eating disorder.

How do I begin binge eating disorder treatment in Utah?

You don’t have to live feeling out of control anymore. This Utah Counseling Clinic has an eating disorder therapist that can help you feel more confident with food again.

  1. Schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation

  2. Meet with an eating disorder therapist in Utah

  3. Begin therapy for binge eating

Other mental health services offered at Maple Canyon Therapy

Binge eating disorder treatment isn’t the only therapy service I provide at this Northern Utah Counseling Center. Other mental health services provided by Maple Canyon therapy include: eating disorder treatment, anxiety therapy, body image therapy, and EMDR and trauma therapy.

About the Author 

Ashlee Hunt LCSW. This represents how as a Binge Eating Disorder Therapist at Maple Canyon Therapy, I provide birth trauma therapy, EMDR therapy, online eating disorder therapy, therapy for perfectionists in Utah.

Ashlee Hunt is a licensed clinical social worker and the owner of Maple Canyon Therapy, located in Spanish Fork, Utah. Ashlee holds a bachelor’s degree in Psychology, a bachelor’s degree in Family Life and Human Development, and a master’s in social work. Ashlee has extensive training and experience in treating eating disorders, has worked at an eating disorder treatment center, and facilitated a binge eating disorder support group. Ashlee utilizes a Health at Every Size approach to aid women in eating disorder recovery.